​Survivors of the Z’s- Rhonda Gedling, Hindegate, Colorado 

I was nothing but a big mess

I layed there on the pull out bed in the living area naked after they all had their fucking way with me. I had to be strong. I felt like I had to hold back the tears. That’s how I felt. Why should these guys watch me falter to the edge. 

I Looked at him and he looked at me. It wasn’t a staring contest. It was more like him putting more of the fear into me.

Letting me know who was boss

Who had the most power

The more vicious side 

His eyes were evil, sick and twisted and his face suddenly grew a smile. 

He then spoke to me

In a nice polite manner 

Strange really

   “Sorry that had to happen,” he said, “people sometimes need to feel inferior to drop to their knees, I’m not a horrible person, I just do it to get what I want and then I’m nice when I get what I want, people always look for a leader and when that leader comes, they have to accept how much of a prick they’re going to be, man or women, pussy or dick, it doesn’t matter, just like in prison, take these guys for instance, they didn’t have anyone to follower, no leader, no nothing, well”-

   “You Killed him, Murphy,” a man said, a big guy who was bigger than them all, a tall black muscular man with big arms and a low voice, he was the guy that went first, “You killed him gurd”

   “Thats right Rock, I did kill him, because he was such a shit fucking leader”

   “You’ve killed a lot of people?” Mom asked, she came out of the bedroom in her underwear, a man slapped her on the backside, the man that did it was a fat looking old bastard who looked like he wouldn’t be able to pull a dog on heat, the fat fuck, she was bruised, a little banged up, I saw her and a tear ran down my cheek, I had to listen to her being ravaged until the quiet came, it just brought back way too many memories.

   He looked over, his smile disappeared for a short time and then came back, I was worried for a second, “nope, they killed themselves, I killed a few in prison, but they only did it to themselves in the end, you don’t do that, you don’t try and intimidate the intimidator, that’s a fact, I was just minding my own business and when you get backed into a corner, you’ll do anything to get back out into the open and that’s what I did, fortunately I had a little something something to protect myself with, to bring those fuckers down, thanks to my man Rock over here”

   “And now you’re going to kill us?” I asked

   He looked over with a Shocked Face, like I offended him, surely he couldn’t blame me for thinking that, but he looked like he did and then his shocked face unraveled into a straight one, “I understand, really, I do, I mean I’ve killed a few people in my time and to be next to a person like myself must be a bitch to deal with, so yeah, I understand”

I laid there and looked down at my body. My naked body was just there

Like… 

like it wasn’t mine.  

Like it was laughing at me

Telling me how dirty I was

How pathetic I was 

To let these grotesque men put there hands on me and do what they did. I was dirty…

I felt dirty

I felt…

I felt like I wanted to shoot myself and put myself out of my misery. 

   “Don’t cry little girl, something like this was bound to happen one day…” He tilted his head, “the way you’re looking at me,” he stood up and walked across to me, “I know you hate me and I know you dream of killing me, but you have to get this inside your head…” he came in close, “that shit is not gonna happen”

Nope

No it wasn’t 

Well not at that moment. I made it my personal target in life to end his. I saw the film play out in my mind of me completing the task. Me ripping the pricks balls off and putting them in his hand whilst he screamed and begged on the floor

And then

Walking a way and leaving him there to be eating a fucking live by the dead ones. I would watch on and laugh as it happened from a distance. An evil grin would cross my proud face and I would then walk away satisfied. 

   “Who hasn’t had ago yet?” He asked

   “I haven’t,” one said, sitting down in the dining area looking out of the window at the passing by scenery, we had been driving for a long time, but I didn’t know where we were, “It’s about time I got my turn, you guys go on forever”

   “Then come on down X, you may have your go”

He was a small skinny runt who had a front tooth missing. I saw it when he smiled and rubbed his hands together. He came at the side of the bed and Murphy got up and stopped him.

   “Be gentle now, she’s probably a little sore from all the hammering she’s been getting”

   “Don’t you wanna go?” I asked him, “You scared or something?”

   “I’m married honey,” he told, “even till this day I’ve promised to not do such a thing, but these guys are all welcome to it”

The little bastard excitedly pulled down his pants and pulled off his shirt to reveal his boney body. He pressed his dick on to me and came in close

A little too close though

I tore off his ear in a second with my teeth and spat it out on to the floor. He screamed and dropped to the floor. Crying his little mouth out. I didn’t care anymore. The only thing I saw now was deep hate for these fuckers in front of me. I thought it would’ve made Murphy and his guys angry or shocked at least, but what came next made me realise what I was up against…