Values are referred to those moral principles and ideals which are desired and cherished by the Individual. These values are personal beliefs passed on either from the parents to the individual or learnt by the individual themselves that shaped their life through an experience. Knowing one’s own values motivate an individual and help create a change within him. It is not an easy task for anyone to find out his/her values though we might go through ‘n’ number of value realization events. A compliment or timely advice from someone close or distant would help us to identify the values we have. The various values can be categorized under the heads of personal values, social values, moral and spiritual values, behavioural values.
When I started ruminating at least three values of mine, I could not come up with any. My parents and friends did help me to figure out the values I possess. Till then I did not know those were really be called as ‘values’. After all it was a self-discovery process in all means. The four major values I possess are Optimism, thriftiness and being penitent.
My foremost value is Optimism. Every individual should be optimistic. Optimism is the ray of hope and is based on one’s attitude and outlook towards life. Without optimism one’s life would be meaningless. It also makes life challenging and all the more interesting. At the same time optimism can be both good and evil. It is of course optimism that gives a light for everyone to step forward in life under all circumstances. A life sans hopes and confidence is null and void. Patience and tranquillity of someone are always tested based on how he/she approaches or embraces the emotions with a positive point of view and perspective.
I have always been optimistic throughout my life. Be it during college admissions, semester result announcements, encounter with Chennai traffic and even during the thrilling moments to go any length to book tickets for the first show of a Shahid Kapoor movie. My friends often say that I have an unyielding optimism. When I say optimism, there are even times when my optimism reached its peak and has been of use for many.
For instance, the country side where my ancestral house is situated always faces Power Failure Issues on a regular basis. Power outage was too common there especially during rainy season. Due to some personal reasons a younger fifteen year old I had to live with the grandparents in that rural side of Kerala. On the very day I reached there the power went off and my grandmother told me it would not come back till next day. I was almost lost as I could not imagine a life without electricity. My grandfather also pointed out the sleepless nights they have had without power. I was actually too sleepy and tiresome after two and half days train journey all the way from Delhi to Kerala. Nothing less than the pathetic life of the 1970’s series of Little House on the Prairie flashed across my mind. Apparently, the series essentially talks about a world without electricity. Gaining all my senses back I enquired my grandparents the contact number of Kerala State Electricity Board (KSEB) so that I can leave a complaint. They did not seem to be much literate and sensible enough to record such complaint numbers. Fortunately, my phone came into my rescue and I googled and found out the number. At the same time, my grandparents told me it would be of no use if I complain too. Meanwhile the power came back in all nearby households except in my home. I immediately rang the KSEB office and discovered the sensitive and corrupted fact that the phone is either out of order or not in a coverage area. I started dripping with perspiration though it was raining heavily outside. I noticed the same with eighty year old man and woman at my home. I could not take all that anymore. My grandparents told me they do not mind even if they live in dark the whole day. While I could read what they silently wish. I was too optimistic and adamant that I would come back home before it gets dark and we would sleep on that day with fans on. After pulling out some Money and cell phone in hand I hurried towards the KSEB office and left a complaint with them for immediate action. I found out that they did not seem to be minding my complaint. I actually begged them and explained the condition of poor fellows at my side. The officials just nodded their heads and let off. I bought some candles on the way back home bearing the thoughts and faces of my grandparents. Fortunately a not-so-close friend’s name and her father’s occupation came into my brain. I recalled her telling me that her father is an Executive Engineer of KSEB. Without much hesitance and second thought I rang her up and explained the situation. To my chagrin, after a few minutes I reached home two men in brown shirts came in an old-fashioned jeep and settled the issue.
I found a satisfactory smile on my grandparents face on that day which made me to sleep with contentment. My grandparents pointed out how optimistic I was even when they asked me to back down. Till date there have not been any such power failure issues at my ancestral house. Thus implicitly I stood for a cause.
Another value I hold is what my father told me once. He has always asked me for Being Penitent or repentant and the importance of penitence prayer. I don’t assume if it would be treated as a value but I wish to. My father often advised me if I feel guilty for doing something wrong I should immediately go and ask for apology. I have put it into practise since my childhood days. I am someone who does not want to keep a formal distance with people. Therefore I settle the disputes pretty easily and even within one day: be it my fault or others. I think this is one of the traits that bring me to be in close proximity to people. At the same time it has also led others to misuse my weakness in all the way possible. I tend to be thus exploited and used by others to get their things done too. But it is the same value that makes me happy and pleasant. When my friends count the number of enemies they have I hardly get any. In my opinion, one should be able to easily forgive the person who has wronged you and also forget the mishap that took place. Making an apology does not mean saying sorry by heart but it has to be from heart. As students we always write apology letters to the teachers for doing something wrong. It is pretty sure that we have not grasped the true meaning of the word SORRY while doing such a regular letter writing task. It has become part and parcel of a student’s life until they pass out from the college.
I would like to point out an incident which emphasized the significance of meaningful apology. Once I was rushing home after coaching class and it was almost dark. I walked as fast as I could and crossed the road. Suddenly a dark object jumped towards me and with the aid of dim street light I figured out the anatomy of it. It was the pet dog of the street vendor whom I used to see every time I cross the road on the way home. Yet I had not talked to her till then. For no reason I was so furious and made a hell out of the issue. I shouted at the street vendor lady for bringing up the dog in a public place. She neither spoke a word nor stared at me. To ease myself a pet lover like me could go to the extent of cursing the cute little puppy too. When I came home and proudly explained my father all that happened in the public place he asked me if I am not ashamed to behave so. Instead I put the blame on the lady vendor for not safely tying the dog somewhere next to her. My father only asked me to point out at least one good reason for proving my innocence. I had nothing. When I went to bed I could not sleep properly and the thoughts of the scene I made on that day haunted me as well. I started thinking about the little Pomeranian breed I had at home long back. I remembered the days I played with it and the fun I had even when it jumped towards me and dribbled on my clothes. I also used to shout at my mother in case I found my dog been caged or tied. This forced me to think from both the vendor’s and dog’s side. On the very next day I went to meet the street vendor and made an apology to her for my previous day’s behaviour. She said she remained silent just because she knew I had been in a terrible mood. I praised her for being considerate and understanding. I gave the dog a packet of biscuits. And a special friendship developed on that day. Till now there is a special bond between myself and the vendor. When I came home I shared my parents how selfless the lady is irrespective of her minimal education and my father told me education is not just about rote learning and earning degrees but the holistic development of an individual to be a civilized and compassionate human being.
It was thus I realized an apology can make such a difference and sometimes can build up the strangest relationships to intimate ones. I can easily declare anyone that the same lady vendor was the only one among my friends who dared to pay a visit to my home when I was down with chicken pox. Need I say anymore?
The third value is Thriftiness. The value of thriftiness if counted as a trait or merit is too evident in me. Some people often misunderstand the act of thriftiness and miserliness. While I can easily draw a straight line between both. One who is a miser not necessarily is thrift. The one who manages and spends money efficiently, practically and wisely is termed thrift. I realized that I am thrift only when a friend of mine pointed it out. But if at all I'm noted for my thrift; I would like to bring to your attention a friend of mine- a miser by nature but thrift by practice. I remember him mentioning that "the letter ’M’ has to be inverted in miser to get the real him." It was actually a self-discovery for me and in case I tend to spend money lavishly I'm reminded of his words. Spending money wisely and returning the borrowed money on time is something I possessed through my ever-so moralistic mother. I have always wondered and looked upon her with respect for her efficiency in spending money. She often pointed out that money is the root cause for all evils. Hailing from financially sounded backgrounds, most of us do not realize the value of money and how it changes one’s lives. Let me share a life incident which emphasized the role of money and how it brought smile on one’s face. I joined in a rural school in STD 7th. The school consisted of both rich and poor. There were many friends of mine who faced serious economic problems but tried their level best to hide it from others. As I do not socialize with everyone so easily, I found a few ones who I can get along with. All of them seemed to be from rich backgrounds and their shopaholic nature exemplified the same. I got along with them though I am thrift. They also used to come to me for debts but they repaid the borrowed money on time too.
One day our class teacher came to class and explained that one of our classmate’s family is in debt trap and encouraged all of us to contribute some amount to the charity fund. Most of us contributed and it seemed everything settled down. Towards the end of the academic year a study tour was organized. All of us except one among my friends decided to go for picnic. When I asked for the reason she said some lame excuse and let it go. While all of us compelled her to come but she was too adamant on not going. When I came back home that evening, my aunt working at the same school asked me who my friends in school are and I named the three girls. It is then she revealed me that it was for one of those girls- apparently the one not coming for picnic- that we collected the charity fund. I could not believe her words since the girl looked as if she comes from a financially sounded family. I compelled my mother to fund her for the picnic and through my aunt I helped her out with tour money without revealing the donor’s identity. The next day when I asked her if she is coming for the class trip, she found to be the most excited one among all of us.
Till date my mother reminds me the same incident and tells me how deceptive some looks are. She also advises me to me spend money wisely as it is all because my mother has been thrift, she could help my friend at times of need.
These three values are very close to me and I never forget them even in times of strife and keep reminding myself of them to keep me grounded. All thanks to my father, mother, brother and sister to inculcate the values through their timely advices and remarks. They have always been my backbone to mould me into a better individual and most specially, a human at heart.
