This is Part One of the Fifth Episode of the Marriage Journals and it is continued from Journey to Your Soulmate.

I APPEAL to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]. Romans 12:1-2 AMP

The world’s way is different from God’s way. As Christian we have to change our way of thinking to line up with God’s way so that we ‘may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]’. If we do marriage the world’s way we will get the same results as the world. You will become part of the bad statistics.

The main thing in marriage is to keep the main thing the main thing. Respect the Christian marriage system and you will be rewarded. What is the Christian marriage system? A Christian marriage is a covenant. It is a covenant that involves three people, that is, your spouse, you and God. Without one of the three, it is not a Christian marriage. They are all stakeholders in the marriage. For the marriage to start and be successful, these three have to ‘bond’ and become one. If one part falls off, the marriage will suffer and may eventually break down.

Now of these three the most important person is God. The marriage vow is made before God. God comes first for both the husband and wife. You cannot afford to ignore Him. When you do this your Relationship with God will be mirrored into your marriage. That’s why the Bible say ‘first seek the kingdom of God.’

‘But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.’ Matthew 6:33 AMP. This means to love God, to put him first, to seek ‘His ways of doing things’ or his purpose first, to ask God for direction on day to day basis and to seek His righteousness. If you do this, ‘all these things’ will be given.

The key here is if you align your heart with God’s heart, your marriage will align with God’s purpose and plan. It will become what God designed it to be. It will be a little heaven on earth, not ‘hell on earth.’ This is the Kingdom marriage. Is your marriage a Kingdom marriage?

Return to the stronghold [of security and prosperity], O prisoners who have the hope;

Even today I am declaring that I will restore double [your former prosperity] to you [as firstborn among nations]. – Zechariah 9:12 Amplified Bible (AMP). We have to return our heart to God so that he can restore and heal us. We have to return to live a kingdom lifestyle.

Over the years we have spoken to make couples who were having marriage issues. There is one single thing that we saw common to almost all of them. All these people always mention that they first drifted from God before the fighting begin. The further they drift from God, the more intense and more frequent the conflicts.

Each couple had drifted from God. They all had a devotional life that is not working properly. They may be serving God in many powerful ways but their relationship with God had gone cold. Some had chosen to rebel against God. The first step they took was to kick God out of their marriage life.

Now a genuine relationship with God is different from your gifting. You gifting is your set of tools. It is about your abilities but your relationship with God is about your right standing with God. Anyone can be anointed and work for God, but not everyone can have a flourishing relationship with Him. Many are serving God without a healthy relationship with Him. Your gifting is for other people but your relationship with God is for yourself. Your relationship with God is what remains outside serving God, when you are on your own at home. That’s why we heard of powerful anointed people of God having ugly scandals. This is how king Saul fall. Do you feel right with God?

The husband has the divine responsibility to initiate, facilitate and connecting his wife and the whole family with God, just as Christ gave himself up for the church, his wife. In response wives should follow their husbands’ leadership towards God in submission.

Make up your mind to pursue God will all that you have. Know that it is not a stroll in the park, but a battle for the hearts.

Insecure men end up stalking their wives and making them prisoners. They always suspect something is happening. You cannot be insecure and at the same time have faith. The two do not mix. Insecurity is an indicator of lack of faith in God. It shows lack of trust in God’s ability to sort things that bothers you.

If you believe God and that he loves you, you won’t be bothered by each detail of what your wife does with other people. You won’t have to police her because you have faith in God’s ability to police her for you. This gives you peace. As long as your vertical relationship with God is good, your horizontal relationship with your wife will simply fall in place. This is what you should do not the other way round.

You do not have to run your life, honestly, give it to God. If someone messes with you in an unfair way you go to your Father, and believe me or not, your Father is a fixer. He will fix things for you. He can talk right to their hearts and minds. He controls the environment around your enemies for your benefit. When you have problems talk to Him and He makes things good for you. At many times he gives you wisdom to tackle the situations.

This Part One of the Fifth Episode of the Marriage Journals will continue in Part Two as The Marriage Covenant.

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