There has been a time where we have all gone to a friend or loved one for relationship Advice. Whether you’re in a relationship, dating, or “hanging out” you’ve wondered about the person you’re with. You think to yourself, are they a good fit for me? Should I stay with them or move on? Is this a huge waste of time?
Unable to answer these questions yourself you seek the advice of someone you trust. You value their opinion and you want to know if they’re thinking the same thing you are. While it’s great to get a perspective besides your own, your friend’s or loved ones advice shouldn’t be the deciding factor in your relationship. If you are someone who makes relationship decisions based on others opinions there are some things you should consider.
- Your Friend Hasn’t Experienced What You Have
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There has been plenty of times my friend has come to me for advice about her boyfriend doing something ‘wrong’ and I honestly don’t know what to tell her. The reason I didn’t know what to tell her is because I’ve never been in the situation she’s telling me about. How could I possibly speak, or advise someone on something I’ve never experienced myself. The next time your friend is telling you what you should do, consider whether or not your friend has had a similar experience.
Advice is always good, and your friend knows you well so they may give good advice. Just remember that their advice is like writing a research paper without any citations in it. It has no factual support behind it, and is more opinionated than anything.
- They Might be a Little Bias
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Of course your friend is team YOU! They are often on your side, even when giving their advice. The truth hurts sometimes and your friend will try to spare you of that hurt if they can. Friends tend to side with you, or sugar code things when giving advice. They want to help you and protect you at the same time. So just remember you may be hearing what you want to hear, and not what you need to hear about your relationship.
Not to mention your friend will always have your back, and that could mean siding with you even though you’re wrong. Make sure you’re thinking of that the next time you ask your friend if you should social media stalk him…
- You Guys Aren’t the Same Person
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People always say that every relationship is different, and that’s true. Each relationship is unique because the people in them are. No matter how close you and your friend are, there are things that make you your own person. Your likes and dislikes, upbringing, you name it. While your friend may not tolerate one thing in their relationship, you might totally be okay with it.
Sure your friend means well and they may even have some solid advice, but remember you’re the one who has to live with your decision. So, the next time you ask your friend for some advice take it with a grain of salt. I’m not saying not to value your best friends opinion but at the end of the day, they aren’t you. Have you been in a similar situation? Leave a comment below!
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Courtney Clark
