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10 RUDE TEXTING PRACTICES YOUR MAN WANTS YOU TO POLITELY STOP


It’s the modern technology age, and everybody uses text messaging. When Texting first came out, it was 10 cents per text. Most people were not using texting nearly as much as they are now. Most cell phone plans currently come with unlimited texting. Although it’s a good thing money-wise, this has caused texters to get out of control with their text messaging etiquette.

In the realm of “out-of-control text senders,” women are guilty of rude and immature text messaging behavior more often than men. This is why men are starting to get irritated with their woman’s texting etiquette.

Many women struggle with talking constantly and nagging their man trough text messages, as well as in real life. These 10 texting practices drive men crazy. If you are guilty of these, consider changing your ways before he takes off runningand changes his number, too.
1. THE WOODPECKER: TEXTING CONSTANTLY

Just because you both have phones, it doesn’t mean you should be texting him every second he is away from you. This goes for anyone, not just your man. This behavior makes you look clingy, and most dudes don’t like clingy.

Not being together 24/7 is healthy for a relationship, especially a new or growing relationship. Texting him constantly is only going to make him feel suffocated. Give him a chance to miss you once in a while.

This behavior also makes you seem like you don’t trust him. If he is out and you are nervous he is going to cheat on you, don’t text him constantly in an attempt to keep him from cheating. Cheaters will always find a way. Sending text after text isn’t going to make your man faithful if he meets the right girl on the side.

Worrying about him cheating could be linked to his behavior, but it is most likely linked to your insecurities, and most men do not find insecurity attractive. If you feel the need to text him because you think he’s going to cheat, you may want to re-evaluate your entire relationship.

Your man wants to know how much you trust him. Give him some space, trust and respect. You will both be happier in the relationship if you take time here and there to do things independently of each other. Remember, cheaters always get caught, but not through text messages.
2. THE VICIOUS CYCLE: FIGHTING OVER TEXT
Fighting over text messaging is like fighting with a brick wall, literally. This is the unhealthiest fight you can have because it enables you both to focus on your own feelings, and not your partners. Text fights amplify resentment and frustration because you just get more and more upset. You have all that time waiting between texts to concentrate on your own feelings.

Example:

Him: “What did I do to make you so mad? All I said was that I was stopping at Burger King on the way home from work.”
Her: “What is wrong with you? Why don’t you ever listen to me? I told you I am on a diet. If you come home with Burger King, I’m going to lose my mind.”
Him: “Yes, but I’m hungry and you are being insensitive witch.”

Notice how nothing was accomplished in this situation. The guy is still getting Burger King and the woman is going to sit at home getting angrier by the second knowing that her man is going to be eating a delicious burger because she said he couldn’t bring it in the house. Neither of them was even trying to compromise in this situation.

This behavior is also harmful to your relationship because if you do it often enough, you are making it a habit to completely disregard his feelings. You may not mean to, but since you can’t physically see how upset he is, you are more focused on yourself. All you are doing is making yourself and him angrier.

If you need to have a screaming match, do it in person. With certain personality types, constructive fighting does help the relationship, but only if you are both trying to compromise and you are making progress. Everyone gets upset sometimes and everyone yells sometimes. Keeping the caps lock on for 25 messages straight does not solve anything and it does not make you feel better, so knock that off.

If you find that either he is trying to fight over text or you want to start a text fight because you are angry, just put down the phone and walk away. Even if he gets angrier that you aren’t texting back, just give yourself time to cool down. Compromise works better when you have had time to realize that you are being unreasonable.
3. BEING JULIET TO HIS ROMEO: TALKING MUSHY
Photo by Michele Ursino / CC BY-SA

If you are texting your man all these emotional, lovey-dovey things every time he is away from you. He is going to get annoyed, as anyone would. It’s one thing to text emotional or mushy things if you can’t talk on the phone or have a long distance relationship, but it should not be all the time. Generally, men do not enjoy talking about feelings anyway, so talking about your feelings all the time is going to get old quickly for him.

The other aspect of this that you guy wants you to quit doing is the “I love you more” junk. If you say “I love you” and he says “I love you more,” and then you say it back, this just bounces back and forth. Before you know it, he is going to start pulling out his hair. Odds are, he is only saying it back now because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or make you mad.

Saying “I love you” or telling him how much he means to you should be something said face to face anyway because it means more. Reading it in a text is not going to feel the same for him as it does for you because, essentially, it is coming from the phone, not you.

Do your man a big favor and just stop it with the lovey junk. He knows you love him, don’t text him how much you love him if he just went to the grocery store for 10 minutes to buy you some ice cream. Spare him a headache; tell him when he gets home.
4. THE ZOMBIE: NOT BEING MUSHY ENOUGH
This may sound counterproductive, but it isn’t, because it is the opposite of being too mushy over texts. Being way too mushy is one thing, but treating him like he’s an acquaintance when you’re texting isn’t a good idea, either. If he is trying to talk to you over text and you are just replying with one-word answers, you are shooting down his attempts to connect with you, even though you can’t be together.
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Photo by kate hiscock / CC BY
Example
Him: “Hey baby. I have an hour left of work and nothing to do. I miss you, what are you up to today?”
Her: “Cleaning.”
Him: “Oh, cool. So what are we doing tonight? Do you want to catch a movie or go for an evening hike? It’s Friday, let’s do something fun.”
Her: “Movie I guess.”

In this case, the man is obviously trying to make conversation with the woman and she is totally blowing him off. He is being sweet by trying to be nice to her, and she is ignoring it. This behavior could cause long-term problems in the relationship, because if he keeps trying and she keeps blowing him off, he will eventually stop trying to be sweet.

One word replies are not a good habit to get into, no matter who you are texting. It makes the other person feel like they are not even worth your time. If someone is taking the time to text you or ask you a question, it is polite to at least answer in a full sentence. When your man texts you, it is most likely for a genuine purpose and he is expecting a genuine answer.

Keep text conversations light and sweet. Add smilies and hearts here and there just to subtly remind him that he makes you happy, but don’t over-do it. You don’t need to tell him every five minutes that you love him, but you should model your texts to be almost exactly like what you would say if you were face-to-face.

If you are only texting back short answers because you are busy and his texts are not of an urgent nature, just tell him that you don’t have time to chat. Simply tell him, in a sweet tone if possible, that you will text or call him when you have a free minute.

Also, if you are one of those people who profess your love to your best friends over text, but not to him, he will notice that. Obviously, your love for your friends is different that your love for him, but he wants to see that you are the most important thing to him.

Your friends are an important part of your life, too, but it is insensitive to text them sweet and loving things that you wouldn’t even say to your man face-to-face. Consider this if he brings up your text relationship with your friends.
5. THE MIND BENDER: TRYING TO BE SASSY OVER TEXT
Photo by Christopher Brown / CC BY

This is an ineffective move, in real life and over text. If you are upset or irritated with him and you are trying to hint at it over text, you are not going to get anywhere. It is difficult to determine your tone of voice, and therefore, your intentions, over text. You may be saying something that sounds sweet and sassy to you, but to him it may just sound mean or undermining. Worse yet, he may not even get what you are hinting at.

Being coy or snotty over text is immature and annoying to most people. Your man will not want to take the time to decode your text messages, whether he’s busy or not. Don’t talk in code if you are upset, because you are setting yourself up for disappointment and anger. You cannot expect him to read your mind or do what you want him to do.

Example:

Him: “Hey, I’m going out to the bar. You cool with that?”
Her: “Yes, sure – do whatever you want.”
Him: “Sweet.”

She could be saying it’s okay, but on the other hand, she could be saying, “Do it, because I know you’ll do it whether I want you to or not,” or she could be saying any number of things. This message is vague and confusing, and is open to misunderstanding.

Perhaps, she is trying to hint that she does not want him to go. This is probably because she doesn’t want him getting hit on by other women at the bar, but she doesn’t want to tell him not to go, because she’s afraid it would start a fight.

He may get the hint, but he may also just glance at it and think that she is fine with it, like he did in this case. He may understand, but then become irritated by the obvious attempt at manipulation and stay at the bar even longer. When he gets home from the bar, he is probably going to have to deal with her grilling him about the women he met while he was there.

Trying to be sarcastic, sassy or snotty is probably hurting you more than it is hurting him. If he didn’t get your hint, he is not going to understand why you are mad at him. This is how many serious relationship fights begin. Take a minute to think before you do this, use your words and be direct with your texts.

Better yet, tell him you’ll see him soon, and save this conversation for later, preferably another day when he is sober. He took the time to ask you if it was okay, which is something many men do not do if they care about their partner.
6. DEBBIE DOWNER: TALKING ABOUT SERIOUS THINGS
Photo by English106 / CC BY

Usually, this kind of situation occurs when one has upset the other, and they are trying to work it out over text. You may be thinking that it’s fine because you aren’t fighting over text, but it’s not. When you are texting about something serious like that, you are missing out on an important bonding moment for the two of you by not being face to face.

Serious conversations create feelings of some kind. Whether these feelings be happiness, stress, anger, confusion, or love; sharing these feelings together is an important piece of your growing relationship. If you have the most serious conversations of your relationship over text message, you are not setting yourself up for long-term success.

It’s important to be able to be together when serious conversations need to happen. It enables you to grow as a couple and understand each other’s body language better. Do yourself a favor and always save those deep talks for the next time you see each other, even if you have to take time out of your busy schedule to make it happen.
7. THERE, BUT NOT THERE: TEXTING WHILE YOU ARE OUT TOGETHER

If you are spending time out and about together, you should not be on your phone the whole time. When you are texting someone else while with him, it makes him feel like you are completely bored and don’t enjoy being with him
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Photo by LASZLO ILYES / CC BY

This is especially true if you are on a date, that’s just totally rude and hurtful. When you man takes the time to take you out on a date, he expects you to be concentrated on being with him. Texting through your date is completely insensitive. However, even if you are just out running errands, shopping, or getting the oil changed; use that time to just enjoy spending time together.

He will notice if you are constantly texting someone, make an effort to use as much of that time talking to him. This may be a great time to ask him questions about himself, the stuff you have always wanted to know, or sing along to the radio together. Just put that phone in the bottom of your bag and give him all of your attention. He will appreciate it and respect you for it.
8. THE PEEPER: TEXTING HIM WHILE HE IS IN THE BATHROOM
Bathroom time is a private time, no matter what the person is doing in there. It is extremely rude to be texting him while he is in the bathroom. Many women are guilty of this because they do not believe their man is doing what he says he is doing – still, it’s not acceptable to be texting him during his personal time.

Men hiding in the bathroom when things are tense in the house is common with couples who have little kids. This is usually why the woman may want to text him and call him out, but it is still encroaching on his private time. Just leave him to it and talk to him about your feelings when he is out of the bathroom.

No matter what it is that you need to say, save it for when he is out of the bathroom. Not only is it annoying to be sending texts while he is busy, but it makes you look clingy and insecure. Nothing is so important that it requires a text from 10 feet away.
9. THE SNOOPER: CHECKING HIS PHONE WHEN HE GETS A TEXT MESSAGE

It may be tempting to pick up his phone when you hear the text message notification ring, but it is not okay to read his texts without his permission. This is an invasion of privacy and it makes him think you don’t trust him. If he asks you to read him the message because he is busy, go ahead, but if he’s not around and you just want to know who is texting him, leave it alone.

If you feel like you desperately need to know who is texting him, just ask him once he reads it. In most cases, he will tell you without hesitation and probably even exactly what the text said. There is no need to be nosy. This just breeds distrust. Do you share each and every text message with him? Of course not 
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Photo by Steven Pisano / CC BY

While we are on the subject of checking his phone when it goes off, it is also not a good idea to snoop around his phone in general. Stealing his phone when he is not around and reading everything in it is not healthy. Even if he is lying to you and you are almost positive about it, don’t hurt yourself further by reading all of his personal stuff.

You may find more than you bargained for when you go snooping through someone’s phone. It’s always better to have an honest and open conversation about your suspicions. Snooping may start a vicious cycle of distrust between the two of you.
10. THE WOODPECKER: SENDING MULTIPLE TEXTS WHEN HE DOESN’T ANSWER THE FIRST ONE
If you send a text and he doesn’t answer, do not be one of those people that keeps sending texts until the person answers. That behavior makes you look like a psychopath. You do not need to get all bent out of shape just because he doesn’t text you immediately. This type of behavior also breeds distrust and co-dependency in you. When you act this way, you are only hurting yourself and even permanently damaging your relationship.

When you let yourself get angry over him not texting you back, you are opening yourself up to insecurity and frustration. You are also overreacting. Men hate it when their women overreact. It is easy to overthink things, but it is not healthy for your emotional stability.

If you feel you need an answer to your text immediately and he doesn’t answer, just call him and leave a message if necessary. Whatever he is doing that keeps him away from his phone isn’t going to make him available any quicker. Do not be that person that sends 50 texts in two hours just because you feel you need an answer now.

Text messaging has put on a strain on the normality of growing relationships. Exhibiting behaviors like these in your text etiquette is not going to help your relationship in any way. In fact, it can only hurt it – perhaps even ruining it forever. Your man is not going to put up with your crazy text addiction for long, so do yourself a favor and change your habits early on.

Remind yourself that the world does not revolve around technology. Your phone isn’t going to love you and keep you warm at night. It is not going to grow old with you. Your man isn’t going to stick around for long if he thinks that you love your phone more than you love him.

If you want to build a happy and healthy relationship with your man, you should spend as little time on your phone as possible. Give him the attention that he wants and deserves, and you’ll be far happier. Soon you’ll realize your phone is not nearly as important as he is.


This post first appeared on INICONG, please read the originial post: here

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10 RUDE TEXTING PRACTICES YOUR MAN WANTS YOU TO POLITELY STOP

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