SPIRITUAL Resilience Dr. Sarita Wilson-Guffin Director, Spiritual Care Le Bonheur Children’s Hospital My Sister’s Keeper Table Talk April 15, 2020 WHAT IS RESILIENCE? 2 WHAT IS RESILIENCE? An individual’s ability to manifest adaptive positive coping strategies that are matched to the situation while minimizing stress or distress (Mallack, 1998). A quality of internal stability, awareness, and flexibility that supports a person facing difficult challenges to navigate in a way that reduces the long term detrimental effects. SPIRITUAL RESILIENCE • Religion is only one expression of spiritual resilience. Spiritual resilience is found in the ability to sustain an individual's sense of self and purpose through their beliefs, principles, values and morals. It is not only about how we recovering from adversity. Additionally, spiritual resilience is shaped in how we bounce back/rebound through difficulties and move forward with in deeper knowledge of both God and ourselves. • Your spiritual resilience is the ability to maintain a positive spirit even in the face of adversity. You can seek strength through a “higher” power, (regardless of your religious affiliation) in order to get through difficult situations. Then draw from your own set of beliefs, principles or values to overcome setbacks in your personal or business life. SPIRITUAL RESILIENCE IS NOT … Spiritual resilience is not about religion, it’s about how you find meaning in life; what keeps you grounded and where you find purpose. Through each life experience, we engage in soul seeking for identity and connection. Spiritual resilience can be defined by how we live out our faith. It is learned as we experience life and all that it brings. Spiritual Resilience enables us to be spiritually led, not emotional responders. THE WORD Jesus answered them, “Do you finally believe? In fact, you’re about to make a run for it—saving your own skins and abandoning me. But I’m not abandoned. The Father is with me. I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.” (John 16:31-33 MSG) 6 SPIRITUAL DISTRESS • Doubt • Loss of Purpose • Resentment/Bitterness • Avoidance/Isolation • Disengagement/Disconnection • Hopelessness • Unmotivated • Lack of compassion/empathy • Unable to engage in faith practices BLACK WOMEN AND RESILIENCE • “Time and again the needs of others have been superimposed on us. The need to believe that a black woman will love you come rain or come shine, that no matter how heavy the burden we can shoulder it, that we are naturally more resilient, that mothering and self-sacrifice are second nature to us, that we are called to be of service to others, that we bear the shield. Strong Black woman is the amalgam of all that and so much more. She’s flesh and blood real, myth and fiction, fact and lie. The assumption that we African American females are inherently strong, as if it were woven into our mitochondrial DNA is taken as Gospel by our tribe as well as by others.” Chanequa Walker-Barnes Too Heavy a Yoke: Black Women and the Burden of Strength THE STRONGBLACKWOMAN • One can be a Black woman who is strong without falling into the cultural trap of the StrongBlackWoman. • During and since slavery, then, the ‘strength’ of Black women has been a backhanded compliment, a convenient rationalization for the oppressive circumstances under which Black women lived and labored. • “…the StrongBlackWoman is not an authentic identity. It does not reflect a woman’s true self. Rather, it is a role that Black women play, a character that they represent, or a mask that they wear.” Chanequa Walker-Barnes Too Heavy a Yoke: Black Women and the Burden of Strength • Perfectionism and rumination • Working 50+ hours per week REGULARLY • Emotional and physical exhaustion • Sleep disturbance • Anxiety/Depression/Anger directed at self • Irritability/Angry outbursts • Feeling guilty about self-care • Feeling overwhelmed • Feeling helpless or that you’ve lost control • Conflict with your significant other • Separation/divorce 10 SPIRITUAL SELF CARE IS NEEDED THE SUPERWOMAN SYNDROME “We are so accustomed to toughing it out, being selfreliant, being dependable for others, concerned with the salvation and wholeness of family, friends, community, and strangers that we become ill from lack of self-nurture and sometimes die early deaths as a result … If we are not grounded in God as Spirit who loves us, body and soul, as well as our loved ones. There is a thing line between survival and denial.” Chanequa Walker-Barnes Too Heavy a Yoke: Black Women and the Burden of Strength “Surthrive” Dr. Valerie Bridgeman ADDRESSING RESILIENCE Invite in new ways of: » Thinking » Speaking » Acting MOVING TOWARD SPIRITUAL RESILIENCE • Who Am I – The question we ask ourselves at the deepest yet most simplistic expression of our souls. • Why Am I Here?- A question of God-given purpose. We find the answer in out connection to God as we breathe, reflect, sit in God’s presence. Through our souls we connect to the Spirit which connects to our spirit. • Master Stress • Energize our Bodies • Engage our emotions • Retraining our minds RESILIENCE IN ACTION • Practice Spirit in Action – Understand your strongholds – Know your strengths – Finding Joy in the simple things – Allowing your talents to match the challenge – Engage in kindness towards yourself and with others – Find the rhythm of deliberate practice and compassionate release – Move In order to pray, you have to move your feet – African Proverb 14 THE 3C’S OF RESILIENCE • According to the research of leading psychologist, Susan Kobasa, there are three elements that are essential to resilience: • Challenge – Resilient people view a difficulty as a challenge, not as a paralyzing event. They look at their failures and mistakes as lessons to be learned from, and as opportunities for growth. They don't view them as a negative reflection on their abilities or selfworth. • Commitment – Resilient people are committed to their lives and their goals, and they have a compelling reason to get out of bed in the morning. Commitment isn't just restricted to their work – they commit to their relationships, their friendships, the causes they care about, and their religious or spiritual beliefs. • Personal Control – Resilient people spend their time and energy focusing on situations and events that they have control over. Because they put their efforts where they can have the most impact, they feel empowered and confident. Those who spend time worrying about uncontrollable events can often feel lost, helpless, and powerless to take action. THE ROAD TO RESILIENCE • Having a Role Model – this is also not a requirement for resilience, but those who have a role model in mind can draw strength from their desire to emulate this person. • Social Supports – unsurprisingly, social support is important when it comes to resilience; those with strong social support networks are better equipped to bounce back from loss or disappointment. • Facing Fear – this is not so much a characteristic as an action or tendency to act, but people who are willing to leave their comfort zone and confront their fears are more likely to overcome their challenges and grow as a person. • Meaning or Purpose in Life – it shouldn’t be surprising that those who feel they have a specific purpose in life or find a tremendous amount of meaning in their lives are more likely to recover from failure or disappointment; when you fervently believe you have a purpose, you are less likely to give up when faced with tragedy or loss. • Training – while a portion of individual resilience may be somewhat permanent and unchangeable, there is an opportunity for improvement; it is possible to improve your resiliency through training (Staroverky, 2012). SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES • Meditation • Prayer • Fasting • Simplicity • Journaling • Fellowship • Stewardship • Submission • Study • Confession • Gratitude • Solitude • Silence • Celebration • Self-Examination • Reflection • Music • Movement/Dance • Evangelism • Celebration