I am so contradicting at times, optimistically optimising whatever I can find. An opportunity arise and I cling sheepishly onto it in search for that glimpse of Hope. Because I am honestly so fucking hopeful, my optimism may kill me one day but I never stop praying for the best, for the success, for that 1% luck and 99% big game plan. Sometimes I wonder if I’m smart in my own ways that may be frowned upon in society, because normal humans wouldn’t think like that. We were taught to follow protocol since birth, everything must be in order to fulfil a fraction of your enjoyment. 

But I’ll say fuck it. I don’t want to mingle with the crowd, however. I want to stand out and be the most successful Jennifer hong you’ll ever see. 

In my oblique ways of course. Haha. I highly cringe at my idea, though not executed, the plan yet to unfold, I deserve thousand chances. I deserve to be the most successful person in the Hong family. Not because I want my parents to be proud of me. Not anymore. 

I’d finally realised that being proud of myself is 100x more important than squeezing a portion of said validation from my parents. They can proceed to do whatever the fuck they want. Cunt. They may proceed to “love me” at a distance in silence whilst watch me rise to the top in a whammy. CUNT.

Fucking cunts. My headache from cycling in the heat did not subside, and I’m rolling around the bed in agony and silently whimpering. Of course planning my ultimate escape route. IM A FUCKING VILLAN with mega minds.

Let’s hope for the best that it’s not the headache talking. 

Hahaha.

What a cunt.