10:51 pm

I supposed these are the two crucial weeks in my life where I race against the clock to complete a number of objectives. Perhaps they are important because they are going to mold and shape the next phase. I do not know where I am going in the future but I do hope for the best. 

To start anew.

Again. 

I wonder how many more levels do I have to climb before I reach inner peace. Maybe I never learn or maybe I have outgrown some people Living inside me. 

I can't pinpoint how it happened to be exact. But it always has to do with grandma, years of living in repression have either made her delusional, or she is simply trying to survive her last decades in the house. 

Now that I have voluntarily removed myself from my Family. Despite all the salvageable moments that weren't reciprocal on both sides, I have decided to leave the nest, to start somewhere safe and cultivate my own set of rules, freedom, and journey. Living with my family hasn't been easy for the past 15 years or so, till I learned to break out of the narcissistic chains. I remember there was a period of time when I questioned why I am different from my family, but now, I feel it is something to be proud of. 

If I could go back in time, I'd wished my grandmother died instead of my grandfather.