Last Updated on November 28, 2023 by Dean Williams

So you’ve found yourself in a long-distance relationshiphttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long-distance_relationship'>¹ (LDR). Maybe you or your partner needed to relocate for work, or you met online and live in different cities.

Whatever the case, you know that being apart poses unique challenges. But plenty of couples make it work—and even thrive—in LDRs. With some strategic effort, creativity, and commitment from both people, you can too.

Let’s explore the top 10 tips for keeping your connection strong, finding intimacy, communicating effectively, and preserving commitment, even when you’re living far apart. Read on for advice on everything from spicing up video chats to planning exciting reunions when you do get to see each other again.

1. Maintain Intimacy and Connection

Physical intimacy is hands-down one of the toughest things to adapt to in an LDR. With a little creativity, though, you can absolutely replicate that closeness from afar.

Schedule regular video call dates to talk face-to-face. Video chats are the next best thing to actually being together. Take some time to really focus on each other without distractions—chat while cooking dinner, or settle in together like you would on the couch. Exchange stories about your day, fill each other in on inside jokes and try to keep things light and fun.

Plan virtual date nightshttps://asi.cpp.edu/campuscrop/?p=18966'>² to connect and have fun. Why should physical distance stop you from having a date night? Schedule Skype sessions where you dress up fancy, pour a glass of wine, and eat dinner together. Or sync up a movie or TV show to watch simultaneously. Play games like virtual Scrabble or online trivia. Doing activities “together” promotes bonding.

Surprise each other with old-fashioned love letters. There’s something so special about getting a heartfelt, handwritten letter from your partner. It’s a tangible reminder of their feelings and lets you reread their sweet words at any time. Send random love notes just because, or consider writing a series of letters to open over several weeks or months.

Make the effort for surprise visits when possible. If your schedule and budget allow, pull off a surprise visit by showing up unexpectedly. These special moments when you first set eyes on each other after months apart are utterly precious. Your partner will be over the moon excited.

2. Effective Communication

Communication is truly the foundation of every relationship, but even more so at a distance. With a concerted effort from both parties, you can connect in meaningful ways.

Set regular times for phone and video calls. Consistent communication is key. Establish a weekly or daily phone call routine that fits both of your schedules. Protect this time and show up fully present. No distractions!

Discuss your needs and feelings openly. Don’t bottle things up! Feel comfortable sharing when you feel happy, loved, stressed, insecure, jealous, etc. Listen without judgment and offer reassurance. Identifying issues early prevents resentment.

Resolve conflicts calmlyhttps://www.pon.harvard.edu/daily/business-negotiations/new-conflict-management-skills/'>³. Disagreements are inevitable, even for couples in close proximity. But with physical distance, small things can easily spiral if you don’t talk them through. Address problems politely when they arise, listen to understand (not just reply), validate each other’s perspectives, and compromise.

Remain patient and understanding during busy periods. There will inevitably be days or weeks when your partner seems more distracted, tired, or hard to reach due to their individual obligations. Recognize that you each still have separate careers, friendships, hobbies, and responsibilities to balance alongside this relationship. Offer grace.

3. Support Your Independent Lives

As the saying goes, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” This is why continuing to pursue your own separate interests is key. Prioritize personal growth.

Maintain your own close friendships. Don’t make your partner the sole focus of all your social energy. Regularly connect with close friends who support you both as a couple and as an individual. Leaning on your support network nurtures your whole self.

Continue investing time in your own hobbies and passion projects. What did you enjoy doing before this relationship, or what have you been wanting to try? Carve out time for those creative outlets rather than obsessing over the distance. You’ll be happier, and so will your partner.

Preserve some sense of autonomy in your everyday lifestyle. Be your own complete, multifaceted person, so you don’t end up depending too much on your partner for fulfillment. Explore your city, set ambitious career goals, and adopt new wellness habits. Self-improvement keeps life vibrant.

4. Make Reuniting a Top Priority

The light at the end of the tunnel during an LDR is always your next in-person rendezvous. Have something epic to look forward to.

Always have your next reunion trip scheduled, even if it is months away. Research flight deals that align with school breaks or vacation time. Mark it prominently in your calendars and start a countdown. Having a set plan reassures you that this separation is only temporary.

Splurge on trips to visit each other when possible. Reuniting after months apart calls for a celebration! Treat this precious time together as a much-needed vacation. Explore a dreamy new destination, check into a cozy Airbnb with your partner, and wine and dine. No need to stress about practicalities—just immerse yourselves in each other’s company.

Make your reunions feel special after long separations. Do little things to commemorate the occasion, like buying a small gift to present, dressing up for a romantic dinner out, or surprising your partner with meaningful gestures. Recreate your “first date” vibes! This builds hype.

5. Stay Positive and Committed

When doubt, jealousy, or nagging fears seep in, reflect instead on what truly matters: your vision for a shared future together.

Talk often about your mutual dreams and long-term plans. Has all this distance derailed your goal to eventually live in the same place? To get married and start a family one day? Discuss concrete steps to turn this into reality and approximate timelines. What excites you both?

Offer sincere complimentshttps://thedaily.case.edu/5-reasons-why-you-should-give-compliments/'>⁴ and words of affirmation. We all have moments of self-consciousness about how desirable we are to our partners, especially from afar. But deviation can breed mistrust. Nip this by frequently verbalizing what you cherish about each other inside and out.

Trust each other fully. Do you genuinely believe this person would never betray your faith in them or do anything to jeopardize what you have? Hold onto that security. Snooping their social media for clues or grilling their friends breeds toxicity. Prioritize open and honest communication with your partner directly.

6. Take Advantage of Technology

Thank goodness for all the incredible tech tools at our disposal, making it easier than ever to bridge long distances. Use them often and creatively!

Send romantic care packages in the mail with photos, inside jokes, homemade treats, small trinkets, or their favorite things. Snail mail makes the absence feel less pronounced when they find sweet parcels from you in their mailbox.

Have regular movie, game, or TV show watch parties over FaceTime or apps like Netflix Party. Cue up the latest binge-worthy series or childhood classic film to watch simultaneously from your respective beds. Comment out loud about plot twists as you experience them together.

Do creative virtual dinner dates. Choose recipes, shop for ingredients together via video chat, and then cook the same meal “with” each other. Pour some wine and chat just like you would across the table. Vibrant conversation makes it feel almost normal.

7. Make Communication Exciting

Sometimes all the scheduled video calls start blurring together. Mix things up to keep your exchanges dynamic.

Play 20 questions or two truths and a lie. Sprinkle in spontaneous question games—take turns probing deeper on random topics like childhood memories, dream vacations, top bucket list adventures, or biggest regrets. The more you reveal about each other’s inner worlds, the more intimacy builds.

Read the same books concurrently, then discuss. Pick a compelling novel, intriguing self-help book, or shared hobby manual to dive into individually in your spare time. Call after you’ve each read a few chapters to dissect concepts, favorite moments, and characters you identify with. Great couples bond over intellectual discovery!

Schedule sporadic midday video coffee or dinner dates. Occasional spontaneous calls outside your normal routine keep the spark alive. Shoot a text saying, “Meet me for coffee at 3 pm?” then chat as you sip your real-life beverages. If pulled away briefly, say for a work call, just weave back seamlessly. It feels deliciously normal.

8. Get Creative with Virtual Connection

Sometimes you’ve just gotta improvise ways to feel close and inject more liveliness into long-distance communication when video chat fatigue sets in.

Read each other bedtime stories via FaceTime when one person is cozy under the covers. Take turns narrating a chapter book aloud to lull your partner to sleep. It’s soothing and intimate. Or call midday when lounging around on a lazy Sunday just to blissfully do nothing “together.”

Play virtual board games using apps like Words With Friends, GamePidgin, or Board Game Arena. Pull out your phones and connect for a round of Battleship, Scrabble, checkers, or classic childhood games. Trash talk and tease each other like you would IRL.

If you play instruments, have a virtual jam session! Prop up your sheet music and sync rhythms as best you can across video chat apps. Even with a sound delay, you’ll have fun making music with someone you care about.

9. Handle Logistics Carefully

To avoid unnecessary tension or arguments, be hyper-communicative around scheduling expectations, tech issues, and other logistics.

Discuss time zone differences and conflicting schedules early on. Are you a morning person, and your partner is a night owl? Do you work traditional office hours while they bartend evenings? Compare schedules to determine optimal calling windows.

Research the best apps and tech tools to enhance communication. Test different video platforms to determine which works best consistently. Discover apps like Between to set auto-reminders for scheduled calls or Virtual Vacation to see each other’s locations.

Manage expectations around future visits. Broach this topic delicately since circumstances limiting reunions can be a sore spot. But transparency avoids breeding resentment. Offer solutions like meeting halfway when possible or budgeting to visit more often.

10. Don’t Forget Self-Care!

You obviously want to cultivate your long-distance relationship, but remember that your own mental health should be the priority. Pour into your cup first.

Connect often with supportive friends and family who energize you. Vent if needed, then take their sage relationship advice or commiseration to heart. Leaning on your squad provides a very necessary outside perspective.

Incorporate relaxation practices into your solo routine, like journaling, bubble baths, meditation, or yoga. When not actively engaging with your partner, avoid scrolling through their social media out of boredom or sadness. Distract yourself with healthy habits instead.

Make time for having fun solo without guilt, whether with hobbies like photography or hitting up a dance class. Prioritize those outlets that tap your bliss. You’ll be a better partner when you carve out space to regularly do activities completely for yourself.

Summing Up: Long-Distance Relationship Success

As with any meaningful goal, cultivating long-distance relationship success demands real work, sacrifice, and commitment—the kind that fosters deep trust and intimacy over time.

The beauty is that by leaning on the incredible connectivity resources we now have access to, you truly can defy the miles. When both parties bring their A-game, an LDR not only survives but thrives.

Stay focused on your vision for a shared future, continue nurturing your independent selves alongside this partnership, get creative about virtual bonding, and remain devoted to in-person reunions whenever possible. With these building blocks firmly in place, you’re sure to go the distance!

FAQ: Long-Distance Relationship Success

Q: How often should we communicate in a long-distance relationship?

Most experts recommend trying for daily communication via phone calls, video chats, texting throughout the day, etc. Schedule at least 2-3 phone or video dates per week for quality face time without multitasking.

Q: What apps are best for couples in long-distance relationships?

Great apps to try are FaceTime, WhatsApp, and Facebook Messenger for video chatting; Between and Couple for reminders and planning; Virtual Vacation to share locations; and Netflix Party for watching movies.

Q: How do you keep intimacy alive from afar in an LDR?

Be flirty over text and video chats. Have movie nights in bed or shower together virtually via Skype or FaceTime. Wear something sexy on camera and give each other a flirty “show.” Roleplay or talk about sexual fantasies.

Q: How often should couples see each other in person in a long-distance relationship?

Experts vary, but every 2-3 weeks is ideal if possible, or at least every 2-3 months. Make concrete plans for future visits in between, and budget for trips.

Q: What are some fun virtual date ideas for long-distance couples?

Play games like virtual Scrabble or online trivia. Stream concerts, shows, and movies simultaneously. Video chat while cooking the same recipe. Have a picnic on video. Read the same book, then discuss. Go sightseeing via Google Earth. The options are endless!

Q: How do I keep trust alive in a long-distance relationship?

Have open and honest conversations frequently. Be transparent about your schedule, activities, and friendships. Definitely avoid snooping on social media or trying to catch them doing something shady; instead, focus on being a reliable partner they feel comfortable confiding in.

Q: How do couples make big life decisions when living apart?

Schedule times for serious life plan talks: finances, career moves, relocation timelines, marriage, kids. Compromise when your paths differ. Research options together, like job opportunities in either location. Weigh the pros and cons of taking turns moving.

Q: Is long distance harder for extroverts or introverts?

A: Potentially harder for extroverts; they crave that in-person connection more, while introverts may better handle alone time between visits. However, self-awareness and communication help any personality type adapt.

Q: How important is having an end goal or closing the distance?

Very! It’s motivating to have a shared vision of ultimately living in the same place. Set target time frames, research locations suited for you both career- and lifestyle-wise, and talk through what it will take to get there. The key is momentum.