Last Updated on October 23, 2023 by Dean Williams

So you met a guy you like, exchanged numbers, and now you’re wondering: What’s the best way to text him to keep him interested? Texting a new crush can be tricky business. You don’t want to come on too strong, but you also don’t want the spark to fizzle out between dates.

While there’s no magic formula, following some basic texting ruleshttps://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_tips_for_reading_emotions_in_text_messages'>¹ can help you maintain that delicate balance of intriguing and available. Read on for your official guide to texting guys the right way.

1. Don’t Over-text…Ever!

Let’s start with the golden rule of early texting: avoid rapid-fire texting! I cannot emphasize this enough. I don’t care how cute he is or how badly you want to text him 24/7; resist the urge! Nothing kills budding romance faster than bombarding someone’s phone with desperate-sounding messages.

Limit yourself to 2-3 unanswered texts in a row. If he doesn’t respond after a couple of texts, stop texting him and wait for him to get back to you. I know the nail-biting agony of waiting for his reply! But sending text after needy text will just make you look clingy and drive him away.

Give him time to respond before double (or triple, or quadruple) texting. Trust me, nothing turns off a guy faster than a phone buzzing with desperate messages. Relax and find something fun to distract you while you wait for his reply. Don’t obsessively check your phone every 30 seconds.

If 24 hours go by with no response after your last text, you can send one follow-up text like, “Hey, did you get my earlier message?” And then let it go. On to the next one, if he can’t even bother responding to that. You deserve someone who’s excited to text you back!

2. Use Texting Mostly to Make Dates

Texting is awesome for logistics—setting up the next date, making plans to hang out, etc. Keep most of your conversations focused on asking him out again or telling him you had a great time and would love to see him soon.

Save the idle chit-chat small talkhttps://iso.mit.edu/americanisms/small-talk/'>² for in-person. There’s nothing worse than getting stuck in an endless, boring text exchange about how your day is going and what you had for lunch. Keep text conversations brief and flirty, leading up to making more plans together.

Don’t try to have deep, meaningful conversations over text. Anything serious, emotional, potentially controversial, or misinterpreted is best said in person. Texting removes so much context like facial expressions, tone of voice, etc.

Set up the next date instead of confessing your innermost thoughts via text. You want to save that emotional intimacy for when you can look into each other’s eyes.

3. Avoid Serious or Heated Text Conversations

This leads me to my next tip: absolutely, under no circumstances, should you try to have an argument or heated discussion over text! Nothing torpedoes a new relationship faster than fighting over text.

It’s too easy to say something you will regret later. If the conversation is getting heated, try calling him instead.

When we can’t see or hear someone’s reactions, it’s far too easy for wires to get crossed. The tone gets lost in translation without body language cues.

If he texts something that bothers or upsets you, don’t immediately fire off an angry response! Tell him you’d prefer to discuss it in person, and let’s set up a time to talk face-to-face.

The same goes for him—if he picks a text fight with you, do not engage! Suggest continuing the conversation later, when you’re both calmer and able to see each other’s perspectives better.

If he refuses to drop the text fighting, walk away. That’s a big red flag—he doesn’t know how to communicate like a grownup.

4. Flirt Your Cute Lil’ Heart Out

Enough about what not to do—let’s get into some tips for using texting to turn up the heat! After all, fun flirty banter is one of the best parts of getting to know a new crush.

Don’t be afraid to let your playful, sexy side shine through in texts. Flirthttps://sites.psu.edu/siowfa16/2016/09/15/the-science-behind-flirting/'>³ away with compliments, inside jokes from past dates, and subtle sexual innuendos (without sexting right off the bat). Try to mix some humor into your flirting.

Send flirty texts about how you find him so sexy and can’t stop thinking about that magical kiss. Or tease him that you can’t wait to see his cute face again. Have fun and get creative with flirting over text to build anticipation for your next date.

Pro tip: if you had an amazing first date, text him after saying something like, “I had the best time with you tonight! You’re pretty great company 🙂 When can I see you again?”

He’ll love the flirty confidence while also knowing you’re interested in locking down date #2 ASAP.

5. Mirror His Texting Style

When you first start texting someone, pay attention to the length and style of their texts. Don’t send a novel-length message if he’s the kind of guy who texts back “Haha cool,” “Nice,” etc.

Match his cadence initially until you two develop a texting groove together. However, after a handful of dates, you can try gently nudging him along to engage more deeply over text if he’s on the brief side.

Ask open-ended questionshttps://fpg.unc.edu/publications/guide-asking-open-ended-questions'>⁴ to squeeze more information out of him and help him open up. This will extend his responses a little, and it’s a great way to get to know him better.

Send a thoughtful question or share a vulnerable insecurity to try to organically coax him out of his texting shell. But avoid pressuring or shaming him for being “bad at texting.” Some people just aren’t big texters, and that’s okay!

Focus more on the quality in-person time you spend together. The texting rapport will build over time.

6. Emojis and Text Slang: Use Sparingly

Emojis and text abbreviations like “lol” or “lmfao” have their time and place, but lean more formal in early texts to come across maturely. He’ll likely follow your lead.

Drop in a smiley face emoji here and there to lighten the mood, or a kissy face if he sends a flirty text. But move forward with the assumption that he’s an adult, not a 13-year-old who expects emoji salad texts.

As you get to know each other better, you can relax into using more silly emojis and slang if you’re both the playful type. But reign it in at first until you suss out his texting style.

Too many emojis, “LOL”s, and “omg!”s in early texts risk making you appear immature or even fake.

7. Make Yourself Less Available via Text

As hard as it is, you need to resist the urge to reply to his texts instantly! I know it’s easier said than done when your phone lights up with a new message from your crush.

But always texting back immediately gives him (and you) the impression that you’re just sitting around waiting for him to text you. Which we definitely don’t want!

You want him to know that you have a life and that you’re not hanging off his every word. This will show him that you are confident and independent. Guys don’t like needy girls.

Give yourself a buffer period of at least a couple of hours before replying to some texts. Take your time crafting well-thought-out responses.

Let him know you have an exciting, fulfilling life of your own going on outside of him. Not in an obnoxious “I’m SO busy!” way—subtly demonstrate you’re not just sitting around analyzing every little text.

Occasionally, try to even wait until the next morning to respond to an evening text. He’ll wonder what fun stuff you were up to that kept you from your phone!

8. Surprise Him with Something Funny

While texting just to chit-chat aimlessly can get old fast, the occasional funny meme, video, or voice message can break up the monotony.

Send him a TikTok you think he’ll find hilarious based on his sense of humor. Forward a meme that reminds you of an inside joke between you two.

Drop an audio message recapping something silly that happened to you that day. He’ll get a kick out of these fun surprises when he’s not expecting them.

Lighthearted humor engages his interest without veering into serious territory. Leave him wanting more by sending something amusing and then backing off the text conversation.

Conclusion: How to Text a Guy to Keep Him Interested

And there you have it—all my hard-earned wisdom on how to text guys to keep that interest alive! Let’s quickly recap the key tips:

• Don’t over-text; limit yourself to 2-3 unanswered texts before letting the conversation rest
• Focus texts on making concrete plans
• Flirt and compliment freely! Let that adorable, flirty side shine.
• Mirror his texting style at first while keeping texts fairly formal
• Ease up on the emojis and text slang until you know he’s into that kind of texting
• Make yourself less available; don’t rush to reply instantly to every text
• Surprise him with something funny once in a while—memes, jokes, videos, etc

If you can master these texting techniques, you’ll be able to keep his intrigue and attraction high while avoiding seeming too eager or obsessed. That delicate balance of availability and aloofness is key!

You’ve got this. Now get out there and start practicing your flirty texting skills. Remember: no novels, lots of well-timed flirtation.

FAQ: How to Text a Guy to Keep Him Interested

Q. Should I double-text him if he hasn’t replied?

Only double-text once or twice, maximum. Any more than that comes off as needy. Give him 12–24 hours to respond before sending a follow-up text. And keep the follow-up lighthearted; don’t call him out for not responding.

If he consistently takes forever (or never) to respond, take the hint that he may not be interested in you. Don’t blow up his phone chasing a guy.

Q. How quickly should I reply to his texts?

To avoid seeming overeager, give yourself a buffer of at least a couple of hours before responding to some texts. Don’t make a habit of instantly replying whenever he texts you.

It’s okay to respond right away, maybe 20% of the time (ex: confirming plans), but mix up your response times overall. This makes you appear less available and keeps him on his toes.

Q. What do I text if the conversation starts fading?

If you’ve been texting back and forth but the conversation starts stalling, pull back instead of desperately trying to revive it. Send a text wrapping up the exchange and wait for him to reinitiate next time. Ex: “It was great chatting with you, but I’ve gotta run. Talk soon!” Then let him reach out next.

Q. How do I get him to ask me out over text?

Directly ask him out yourself if you don’t want to wait around for him to make the first move. Many guys appreciate a confident woman who goes after what she wants.

Or drop hints like “Let me know if you’d ever want to grab dinner again” or “I’d love to see you this weekend if you’re free.” Make it clear you’re interested without being pushy.

Q. Should I text him first or always wait for him to text me?

Don’t obsess over who texts who first. If you want to talk to him, message him! It’s okay to initiate sometimes instead of just waiting around and hoping he’ll text you. But also let him be the first to text about half the time too.