Low self Esteem is a pandemic that is plaguing the society today and will continue to plague it if proper measures are not taken. It is sad to note that almost every young person you come across today has either suffered from low self esteem, is suffering from low self esteem or will suffer from low self esteem in the future. Even those that seem “happy”. How sad!
Cambridge dictionary defines self esteem as “belief and confidence in your own ability and value”. Your self esteem is usually birthed from your opinion and belief about yourself. It is synonymous with self confidence.
Collins English Dictionary says, “if you have low self esteem, you do not like yourself, you do not think that you are a valuable person, and therefore, you do not behave confidently.” Typically a person with low self esteem is extremely critical of himself, downplays or ignores his positive qualities, judges himself to be inferior to his peers, uses negative words like ‘foolish’, ‘stupid’, ‘failure’ and so on to describe himself.
Most times, people do not just wake up feeling less of themselves. It is the environment they live in that births the feeling. Low self esteem is sponsored by what people see, what they hear, and what they are made to believe. We live in a society where we are constantly being compared with people. Some comparisons are healthy, while some are not. They are in fact detrimental to our mental health, and this unhealthy Comparison is my focus in this paper.
The factor of comparison cannot be overemphasized. People are constantly being compared to other people who are painted to be the statue of perfection, which as a matter of fact is untrue. For example in the aspect of physical appearance, people get body shamed every day. If you do not have a “perfect body” that takes after that of some celebrity, then you’re ugly and not worth any attention. Similarly, If you are not rich enough to own a car and a house, you are not to be counted as a man. If you are not as intelligent as that girl or boy, then you should probably drop out of school. These are the current norm in our society today. Little wonder why people drown in the pool of low self esteem and depression by the day.
Young people are under a lot of pressure from the society(parents, peers and most especially social media) to meet up to unrealistic and overrated standards. It is sad that in this twenty first century of so much advancement and increase in knowledge, society has not recognized the effect of its actions and inactions on its populace. Instead society has increase the heat of the pressure, creating a sense of self loathing and dissatisfaction in her youths.
Taking a practical scenario for instance, a secondary school graduate yet to be admitted into the higher institution can attest to the fact that the season of waiting may be unbearable, especially when most of his/her mates and friends are already in the university, it is indeed a very time. The embarrassment that comes with being seen at home is disheartening. This leads to a lot of thinking, self criticism and judgement. It becomes even worse when the people around begin with constant reminder of your state, comparing you with your class mates and friends. This leads young adults and teenagers into having inferiority complex due to the unhealthy comparison. They begin to feel like failures. As simple as the issue of admission may seem, it has led a lot of teenagers and young adults into depression and in some cases, suicide. And it all began with the epidemic of low self esteem birthed from constant comparison.
It is unfortunate that parents are among those who compare their children – with their siblings and even other children . Some parents have failed their children in this regard. The height of comparison has to stop! Some children see themselves as less of a human being because their parents have made them believe that the lives of their siblings and peers are the standard, which they cannot attain. Where parents are supposed to encourage individuality, they have embraced comparison.
Low self-esteem is no joke, hence should not be trivialized. It is not something that can easily be outgrown. And it can develop into full fledged depression. Our youths lack self love, why? It is because they have been compared to people so much that they feel they can never be good enough. They are never appreciated for their efforts and their strengths. No matter what they do there is always more that “that boy or girl” has done.
What can then be done to solve this problem? (the problem of low self esteem that seem like it has come to stay). It is quite simple, the society ( parents, peers etc.) should come out of the habit of limiting her own people to the achievements of others. Society should start appreciating individuality. Do not compare people. No two persons can be the same, so, individuality should be embraced.
For those who are forced to believe that they are less of human because of constant comparison, they must be reoriented to know that they are unique, they are smart, they are worth it, and most importantly they are enough, there’s no one else like them in the entire universe. As we join hands together to create a better and homely society, were everyone is appreciated for who they are, we will to a large extent combat this cankerworm of low self esteem.
OGHENEDORO EMMANUELLA IS A LAW STUDENT AT DELTA STATE UNIVERSITY, OLEH CAMPUS
