How wide is the circle of your influence and power? How many people, talents, possessions, or opportunities are in that circle? What we do with what we have is a reflection of who we are and how much we deserve to be entrusted with more. We can be good stewards of what is within our control, or we can Abuse what has been entrusted to us. In its simplest form, abuse is poor stewardship of what has been entrusted to us. But it can be far more dangerous and damaging. Abuse may be violent or it may be as quiet as neglect or abandonment. Abuse can be aggressive, but it may also be regressive—a steady depreciation of human worth, like dripping water wearing down a rock.

Abuse may inflict pain or rob personhood; it may leave scars on the skin or lacerations on the heart. Its result may be superficial, the response to a careless comment, or it may be a lifetime wound resulting from a neglected or mismanaged trust. Abuse requires an abuser and a person who has been abused. But God grants healing—both physical and spiritual—through forgiveness and a new way to live. The abuser can change, becoming truly transformed by God’s Spirit. The person who has been abused, through Christ, can forgive the abuser and find true healing. This allows the cycle of abuse, which can become multigenerational, to halt.

Will God forgive a person who is guilty of abuse?

Acts 2:21

“But everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved.”

Luke 23:34

“Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”

God forgives all sins, not selected ones. His mercy is to anyone, regardless of that person’s past.

2 Chronicles 33:6, 13

Manasseh also sacrificed his own sons in the fire in the valley of the Ben-Hinnom. . . . when he prayed, the LORD listened to him and was moved by his request.

Manasseh was the most wicked king in Judah’s history, abusive to the point that he burned his own sons on an altar. But later in life he sought God’s forgiveness, and God did forgive him, transforming him into a man who did great things for his nation.

Is physical discipline of my child considered abuse?

Proverbs 29:15, 17

To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child. Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind.

Proverbs 13:24

Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.

The Bible clearly advocates Discipline of children, even physical discipline. But it must be measured and done with restraint and in love, in a manner that in never borders on abuse or physical harm. “Discipline” that comes from anger can often lead to abuse and violence.

What is the best way to prevent abuse?

Romans 13:10

Love does no wrong to others.

Love restrains us from abusing a loved one—physically or in any other way. This is not a roller-coaster love based on feelings, but a rock-solid commitment to protect and nurture regardless of the way you feel at a particular moment. Violence or abuse against a loved one is a clear signal that our love for that person is not genuine.

How do I begin to heal the wounds of abuse?

Matthew 15:30

And [Jesus] healed them all.

Only Jesus can truly heal broken lives.

Proverbs 11:14

Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers.

Proverbs 20:18

Plans succeed through good counsel.

Seek help from godly counselors.

Matthew 5:44

“Love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!”

Forgiveness means praying for those who hate and hurt you. This releases you from the destructive emotions of anger, bitterness, and revenge.

Ephesians 4:31

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words.

An unforgiving attitude not only ruins your relationships, but it also poisons your soul. The person most hurt by unforgiveness is you.

Romans 12:19

Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the LORD.

Punishing evildoers is God’s job, not yours, and God can be trusted to administer justice. Therefore you can remove yourself from the endless cycle of revenge and retaliation by forgiving.

Philippians 4:8

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

As we fill our minds with thoughts about God, there is less room, and less time, to dwell on the past.

Promises From God

Psalm 9:12

He does not ignore the cries of those who suffer.

Psalm 23:4

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.