Read below! 

BY 8:00 PM Our Program started and the moderator of the program was Mr. Nathaniel Anthony. 

He did the opening prayer and also, he introduce our teacher and speaker of our program titled BUILDING GODLY AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP (COURTSHIP)  By Mrs. Godiya Bullum 

She began with the program as follows:

Thank you Sir (the moderator) . Good evening everyone.

Our topic for today is *BUILDING A GODLY AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP (COURTSHIP)*

TEXT:LAMENTATION 3:26, 1 THES 4:3-5, 1 PETER 1:14*

It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Lamentations 3:26 NIV

 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God;

1 Thessalonians 4:3‭-‬5 NIV

As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.

1 Peter 1:14 NIV

 First of all we are going to look at some definitions of key terms.

1. Relationship

2.Courthship

3.Godly/ Healthy Relationship. 

*RELATIONSHIP*

A relationship is a way in which people are connected and behave towards each other. 

*COURTSHIP*

Courtship is a mutual commitment made between a man and a woman and meet regularly for the purpose of knowing each other better and seeking God's will with the aim of marriage one day if it is his divine will. 

*Godly/ healthy relationship*

A godly and healthy relationship is a relationship that include values of mutual respect, trust and honesty. It also means valuing each other and understanding each other's boundaries.

*BUILDING A GODLY AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP*

Building a godly and healthy relationship basically means building a relationship that glorifies God your maker. 

 First, your relationship must be defined. You need to ask yourself some questions. 

- Why am I in ththis relationship? 

-What are my motives and purpose for this relationship? 

-Why this person? 

- What do I want in this relationship? 

-What are my plans for this person?

As a young girl or Lady, you should ask your partner these questions before you start a relationship. What are your plans for me? 

What are your motives in this relationship? 

Run for your life if he does not have answers to your questions. No one should waste your time on something that will not yield good result

Your partner must find Christ before finding you. We have seen so many situations were pastors children date or marry unbelivers. This is unacceptable before God.Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.” Therefore, “Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.” And, “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”

2 Corinthians 6:14‭-‬18 NIV. 

Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you. This is what you are to do to them: Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones, cut down their Asherah poles and burn their idols in the fire.

Deuteronomy 7:3‭-‬5 NIV

Today, I will like us through our behaviour to change people's narrative about ministers children. Many people tag us to be bad people as a result of our behavior, our interaction and how we deal with the society. The bible said we are the light of the world. Let us shine so that our character and behavior will speak for us even in our absence. 

As pastors children, we should be involved in things that will glorify God. We should be image  of God, live an exemplary life to others and maintain the good reputation our parents built. 

Through our behavior, let people out there have the taste to be close to us, to be our friends and not only friends but to be our future partners.

 *WHEN AM I READY FOR CHRISTAN COURTSHIP*

It is hard to put an age limit on when to begin Christian courtship.

It is useful to follow these criteria. 

1. One who is mentally, spiritually and emotionally mature

2. One who is praying and seeking God's will for marriage

3. And one who is ready about commitment in a serious relationship. 

Minding that teenagers in school will be too young to start dating and courtship. Someone in his/ her mid teens who start dating will have to expect a long courtship of decades or more which may not be healthy.

 It is important to note the following:

1. *PRAY ABOUT YOUR FUTURE*

Be careful for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known into God. 

No matter how young you are, you can begin praying about your future now. It's never early. Praying about your future will help you make wise decisions concerning your future. Pray for wisdom,  pray guidance, pray for clarity and direction. 

Make conscious efforts to talk to God about your relationship. You should not wait for challenge or need to arise before you can run to God. Power your relationship with prayers daily. 

2.*CHOOSE GOD'S WILL*

In all thy ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths. Peoverb 3:6.

Never settle for less than God's will. Be surrendered to his plan and purpose for your life. Don't focus on the life you want to have. Focus on the life God wants you to have and be determined to follow it. 

If you surrender to God's will for your life, then you will be in the best possible place to begin an awesome God centered relationship. 

If you are not focused on God's will, you could very easily be swept into a relationship that was not meant for you and it will not be an awesome relationship leading you to jump from one terrible relationship to another. 

3 *ABSTAIN/RESTRAIN*

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God;

1 Thessalonians 4:3‭-‬5 NIV. 

Respect your body. Boundaries for restraint are important and necessary in courtship. *STAY OUT OF THINGS DESIGNED BY GOD ONLY FOR HUSBAND AND WIFE. THE ONLY WAY TO BE SURE IS TO SIGN THE MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE AND SAY YES I DO* Until then, wait upon the Lord patiently. If you have given your self totally to one who is not your spouse, you have a lifetime to regret and surely do not want that hanging over your mind for the rest of your life. 

Keep your self pure, let there be boundaries in your relationship.  Bear it in mind that anyone who want your body in a relationship  is lusting after you and does not love you.Many will take or see you as old fashion or not exposed if you refuse to do what they want. *Yes tell them that you are not exposed to sin. You are exposed to Godliness* 😀. 

Here are some practical rules to consider that may be helpful:

1. Guard your mind first

2. Never be in a room behind closed doors or dark places or corner and

3.Avoid romantic encounter with your partner. 

*What are the dangers of wordly practices of courtship*? 

1. Often mistakes a physical relationship for love

2. In many cases, distracts young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the Lord's use in the future

3. Promote list and immoral habits, opening the doors for sin. 

4. Develops an appetite for variety and change in relationship, creating dissatisfaction in marriage.

*Learn how to communicate well*

Let no corrupt communication proceed out if your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Eph 4:29.

Communication is key in life and relationship. Learning how to communicate well isn't as complicated as you might think. 

Let's look at some communication tips. 

1.*Be honest*

Honesty is very important in a relationship, do not lie to your spouse. Talk about things that bothers you. Do not hide things from each other and be truthful with one another. 

2. *Speak with kindness*

Be kind and loving when you talk to your partner. Don't let unkind words come out of your mouth. Avoid raising your voice to your partner. Speak with love. 

3. *Work together*

If a problem comes up, work together to find solution. 

4.*Communicate often*

Do not allow too much time or distance come between you. Communicate as often to keep your relationship strong and healthy. 

5.*Do not be selfish*

No one want to be in a relationship with a selfish or self focused individual. Learn to focus on other people. Don't always be thinking about yourself. Be genuinely interested in your partner.

Our teaching today will not be comple without encouraging us to consciously practice the whole package of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. ( Love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, meekness, fath and temperance).

One thing people in courtship usually disregard is the issue of health compatibility (especially Genotype). The worst thing you can do for your child is to make him/her feel pain throughout life (give birth to a sickled-cell patient, popularly called SS). Love should not blindfold you to the point of marrying a medically incompatible partner. 

In fact, it is not the will of God for you to marry a medically incompatible partner. If you need medical advice, please seek it from a medical professional or visit the hospital.

CONCLUSION

Thought for the day*

We are the light of the world. Mathew 5:14.

God bless us all.

(SHE ENDED HERE)

Our Moderator for the program takes it from there..

Mr. Nathaniel Anthony Ndamsai

We'll give room for one or two questions if any.

Please indicate by reacting to this message with "☝🏽" if you have any question.

Thank you

QUESTIONS and answers

Question 1 by Jonathan Lukandra 

Talking about long time courtship is not healthy.

So for how long should one be in a courtship

Answer to Question 1 by Mrs. Godiya Bullum 

Thanks for the question. Well I'm talking about young teenagers who start dating when they are too young. Most of them are not matured enough to know what  relationship is

Question 2 by Nig gospel

How can i know the right partner that God's have for me. What are the signs to know please.

Question 2 answer by Mrs. Godiya Bullum

Thanks for your question. You can know your right partner by praying. Tell God what you want in a man or woman and with faith you will show you the person

Question 3 by Hauwa Yahi

If a Lady is active in serving God, and later married someone who doesn't take the affairs of God serious, how Wii she cope with the man she married?

Question 3 answered by Mrs. Godiya Bullum

The whole purpose of courtship is to understand each other before marriage. If you take your time to identify red flags then issues like this will not come up. However in this case, you have to keep serving God and praying for him to change. With the way you live, God can change him. Do not disrespect him in the process.

Mr. Elijah Joshua Maiva added in regards to question 3

In addition, of course, there are many people that have received visible signs for whom they are married to now. But at the same know this, *"Not everyone will see vision"*

While still there are no definite indications to that, but through out the Bible we have seen how many have come to find theirs. Example, Hosea, Jacob. 

It's possible in this out dispensation. However, it is good to look at what those two people I mentioned had.

They were obedient and there was total trust.

As our speaker said, "pray" yes pray. 

While praying you will have to be trusting and obedient.

Mr. Elijah Joshua Maiva added to question 3

I pray that that should not happen to anyone who is not yet married here, because it might destroy your spiritual life when you are not strong.

I can tell confidently that is not easy but there is no situation that God can not solve.

She can overcome through genuine love, through fellowship with the brethren.

Secret: As a young man or woman growing up, build up systems around you. Thus systems are foundational values. 

A married woman  who found herself in that problem should seek fellowship with the Holy Spirit ( I say this with all sincerity of heart. Because He can guide and give you peace).

That's the end of program on BUILDING A GODLY AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP (COURTSHIP) By our Teacher/Speaker Mrs. Godiya Bullum

Our moderator for the program ended by asking few prayer points from members.

After that he prayed and close the program.

Thank You So much for reading through.

Don't forget to join us next week as we bring to you another exiting program for the glory of God. Amen

Writter

©Ezekiel Lawan Group Admin. EMCF