Serious _Father

By, Rahat Uddin Jewel

Our serious father used to return home at 10:30 pm. Until father came, the house was our kingdom. I did as I wanted. Speaking loudly Brothers and sisters were laughing. Ma used to shout loudly at us. Father used to enter the house at half past ten. With the market bag. In winter, various vegetables, cauliflower, eggplant, beans. And he used to bring a mix of different types of small fish. My mother used to cook the fish with green chillies and a strange aroma would come. The coarse rice would easily go to Gro-Grass. Everything would be quiet when father entered the house. When father entered the house, his nose would smell strongly of cigarettes. Father used to eat at the corner of the street. And the tired sweat of the whole day. A strange smell. If there is something familiar to me, it is the smell of his body I have never known anything like this smell in my whole life. Dad used to see cheap striped shirts with beards. The collars of which became soft every day while cleaning the skin. Three formal pants. This is what I was known to say about my father. I am the youngest among five siblings. From the time I was in class nine, I noticed my father like this. Big sister, then two brothers, then younger sister and then me. I had no memory of sitting on my father's lap. I used to ask my brothers and sisters, have you ever sat down with your father and been pampered? Biya Hasto, how come these fairy tales in your head?Big sister used to get angry and scold. - Why not? Father used to sit on his lap when he returned from office. You used to sit on your father's lap and eat rice from his plate. And once while eating on my father's lap, I passed out They laugh as they say it. Rabeya Apu and Rubia Apu. Both of them laugh all day long. Their wavy hair comes forward. Laughing, he took it back with one hand and pulled the fly with the other hand. Their skin color is rust, neither fair nor black. Neither white nor yellow teeth come out. I watched in awe. Sometimes we eat with our brothers. We have a lot of fun then. Sabbir's brother Rubia annoys you all the time. Rabeya Apu is calm but Rubia Apu is very fierce. He doesn't say anything. If you can't speak, you will judge the mother. The mother lifted the veil behind the ear on her head and opened it again towards the ear. Mother's big gold ring earrings move Mother will softly shout, - Ah, such a big boy, what do you do while eating? Brother, nothing like this happens. Rubia Apu got up and kissed her brother's back and killed her again. Brother pulled her hair with his hands. He threw his feet on the floor and cried. Mez Biya pulls another braid with his hand. Mother laughs as she bows. Rubia Apu used to throw away the pot that was given to her when she was eating rice, she used to dip her hands in the pot and wipe both hands on their shirt and run. The cheap Nupur bought from his neighborhood shop used to rattle. My father never saw any of these. I never saw my father during these fun times. By the time father returned home, we had almost finished eating Everyone is very quiet. Mom spoke slowly. Walked slowly. Your words were without volume. Where the father lived, the brothers did not step. He used to get angry and go to the other side Mother used to sit. He used to eat with his father. Mother used to sit next to the rice pot with pirah. A white sack of rice was spread on our ash colored floor with semi-paved cement. Father used to sit on the mat. Mother used to give curry to father. The father used to talk lightly with the mother. In fact, the mother used to say that the father was just yoo-hoo. Our day-to-day pharmaceutics that we used to annoy mom, she would scream in annoyance. Mother used to say them slowly to father. Who should pay school fees, who will need tuition fees, who will need money for model test, these are the mother used to say. Who needs shoes? Need a new dress. Mother said slowly. If someone has a wedding ahead, someone will come to visit. Basically there was a summary of all the expenses, in a very soft voice. Couldn't say it every day. Some days the father would say, "Ah!" That day mother was completely silent. Standing from a distance, you would beckon to say. Mother shook her head. He used to say with wide eyes. Even if the salary is paid to these mothers. The father had to show shoes and shirts for these. Do you really need it? Dad used to have a cup of hot milk after meals. He is in a cane chair. He would sit with his legs up. We had to say whatever we needed in front of Baba If a bag or sandal is torn, it must be shown first. If father had said that it would continue for a few more days, then our request would have ended there. Mom closed her eyes. Which means, what now. I see... Father used to leave at eight in the morning. When my father went out, the house would run according to our rhythm again. mother's cry The sisters laugh loudly. Suddenly I thought that father is like this all his life? Having fun like us, laughing and laughing, were these nothing, father? Didn't you? Father had no friends? Sisters got married one by one. Father had no enthusiasm for sister's marriage either. Like that familiar worried and serious face. An old ironed cotton cross in Punjabi for father's sisters marriage. When we were in the club laughing, happy, in pictures, dancing. The father was caught arguing with the cook in the kitchen. Dhoom to take pictures of everyone with mom. Nobody remembers talking about father, taking pictures with father. Only mother softly said, - The wedding is over, call your father to take a picture. None of the brothers or sisters showed any interest. Mao forgot again. I was scared and went to the kitchen. I called my father, - Mother was calling, to take a picture. Dad didn't answer immediately but finished ranting at the cook and said softly to me,- I can't stay long. Smoke will hide things. come on Everyone got down when Baba got on the stage. Apu called and picked everyone up again. Being the youngest, I was placed on my father's run. Mother sat next to him. Rubia Apu standing behind the brothers kneeling down. So that everyone comes beautifully in one frame. I sat in fear. Suddenly my father gently grabbed me. He put his hand on the back. I touched it for the first time. Father's touch was not on the skin but inside the chest and hit a wall. Shivering. After that, everyone started having fun again. Father went back to the kitchen to guard the cook. That day I felt for the first time our growing up, our life, our studies, our happiness, our new clothes. All in father's money For father But he is not a sharer in our joy. he is not I probably couldn't leave my father until the end because a chest wail woke up in my chest that day. It was like a cut of wool you got married. Some of the brothers went to Sylhet and some to Cox's Bazar with jobs. Marries anyone's wife. Our room became cold and silent again. But not for father. I had just finished my inter and was starting my varsity life. Father retired. Father has no time to return. Everything doesn't stop when dad walks in. When the sisters and brothers came, they tried to remain silent in front of their father as before, but gradually everything started to decline. "Father is there, so what happened?" Everyone began to feel like that. Our conversation. The smiling father got used to watching from a distance with surprised eyes we also got used to father's presence. Father's indifferent gaze began to slow down like a wet snail When I started to miss my father's strength, it turned into an illusion Then I used to respect my father as before. Baba wanted to mix slowly in our world In the world who was never there. He was just a guest from 10:30 pm to 8:00 am.. whom everyone was afraid of. Mao is not afraid now. Our house has changed. That satsyate floor is now shiny. Mom doesn't work anymore. There is a maid. Whom to supervise and hear the fard of her work has become the main life. We still forget to involve our serious father in any plan. When the brothers and sisters come home, they plan to go for a walk in the park. When everyone turned around including mother. Dad came back from the neighborhood shop and said, - Where did you all go? - In the park! Baba asked him to take off his leather shoes, leaning his hand on the wall next to the door, - No one said where. I was also told, I would also come around. Mother said, you will not go Baba said 'O' and left the small mobile from his Punjabi pocket next to the showcase and went inside. We noticed that we have ingrained the fact that father will not go in such a way that no one thought of asking father to go. Because father is our serious father. Whose stay in this world was for us. Since they used to go out in the morning and come back at night, the sisters got married and the examination forms of all the brothers were filled. Then one day mother died without any reason. Everyone started saying that the happy time of eating has died. I thought, mother was unhappy? With our five siblings. Mother found the family to give our requests to father in a low voice Mother was not unhappy Mother loved her children. His children occupied a great place in the world. Discussions, arguments and decisions were made with the mother. Mom won. The father lost in this case. Not being able to make a place in anyone's world. My father and I stayed at home. The intense childhood desire to sit beside father and talk, laugh and watch the game, come and tell him what I did all day was still burning like a fire of chaff. But, did you eat? And took medicine? Tell me if you need medicine. I got stuck in this cycle. I could not break any door. One day I returned home without watching the game with my friends. I left the TV and called my father.- Will you watch the game? Father smiled,- Let me see. He said and sat next to him.I asked the maid to apply the mask. I never thought I would eat from this bowl with my father. When I screamed in the excitement of the game, I was silenced by fear. Dad doesn't say anything. To be happy. Gradually my serious father became our sports watching partner. Both of them shouted. I am afraid I no longer tremble when I feel the touch of my father. We fight for two groups. Which to me is nothing short of a fairy tale. Pizza is given to everyone in the office. Bring mine home. I eat out while watching the game. Tell father, eat? Father says with surprised eyes. What is this thing, let me eat it. He said after eating. It's fun. I didn't eat before. To my surprise, we brothers and sisters have eaten pizza since long ago. Mother also ate But before father returned. No wonder father was never fed. Because father was our serious father My chest again opened the cut of wool. I bought a leather jacket. I showed my father. In a very serious voice, the father looked around and said, -How much did you take? After telling the price, he looked surprised and said, - How dare you buy these with so much money? I know all our sane fathers wouldn't have dared to spend on something as frivolous as clothes. Father then gave his hand and said, but it will not be cold. Ride a bike. When I returned in winter, I would put a strong shield on my chest to avoid cold. I know that. But I didn't pronounce it anymore. I did not dare I gave the jacket to my father and said gently, -This is for you. see later Is it fitting? If not, I will change it. Father looked surprised again Unbelievable eyes. He does not believe. I said a little loudly, see later otherwise I will change it. He saw later. Even though there is a mirror in the drawing room, he quickly asked to go to his room. - Stand up and look at the mirror. I didn't understand it then, but I understood it later. Why did the father run away from the front. After a long time he returned to normal and said, - How comfortable this is, baby. Umm hot inside. My father used to call me boy when I was little. I heard this for the first time after Buddhi. I told my father, - Let's ride a bike today. Father showed me the excitement of children in his eyes. Dad rode bikes all his life. I was afraid to put my father behind the bike for the first time. I was at a distance when my father sat behind me. Dad suddenly grabbed his shoulder. The feeling of pushing against the wall of the chest. Dad slowly hugged my back. Father said in a trembling voice, I never took you for a ride on the back of my bike, did you, boy? I don't know what was in that word. My eyes were full of tears. The strong cold wind of the street was cooling the face by putting air on her tears, as if the ice was freezing, the water was flying. Suddenly I noticed that some parts of the shirt on the back of my neck felt wet. I was silently listening to the words of my father's mind. Fathers who lose their own lives to make a child's life are serious fathers.

Our_ Serious _Father