It is so hard to raise a kid who is independent, self reliant yet plays well with others and is attentive and well-read. I know, this kid sounds like nobody in real life and while my Daughter is perfect for me, ‘real’ perfection in humans, at least, doesn’t exist.
The bridge between gentle and ‘by the book’ Parenting is so hard. The juggling between the two extreme sides made me realize that parenting, like any other thing, is something you have to play by the ears. There are no specific rules and steps to follow and the perfect way for someone else, even your own mother or best friend may not work when it comes to parenting your child.
I always knew, I wanted one child and a daughter and since my wish has come true. It is now, wholly and truly, my responsibility to ensure that my ‘one’ child is not just educated but street smart, confident but not over confident, perfect but not obsessed with herself, independent yet needs me! When I write this, I realize how underrated and incredibly difficult parenting and motherhood really is.
During covid days when we could not step out of our homes and had lockdowns ranging for months, we came up with a few things that she could do by herself, with minimal supervision and till date, we continue to do so.
Make your own bed: While I am all for pampering my little princess, I have no intentions of raising a diva. I have told her to emulate my actions and fold her blanket in two halves and spread it over the bed as I do mine and tuck in the bed sheets neatly and fluff the pillow. This routine takes less than two minutes and makes a world of a difference.
Play with your soft toys: We have over 50 Soft Toys of various sizes and shapes, holding different memories and each one of them has their name. I have told her to set them up, pretend to play, decorate or do whatever you want at least for a couple of minutes each day. The toys ‘get used’ and the ones she’s outgrown, she readily lets me give them away to charity.
Bath before meals: I am one of those moms who brush and shower the minute they get up. I am also raising my daughter to be the same. I hate the idea of sitting around all day in night wear and lounge wear in mornings. Our day and night clothes are different and they are meant for those many hours everyday. Unless she’s really exhausted or hungry or sick, shower before meals is something we have been following from Day One.
Decide your own clothes: While I am thrilled to have my own princess with who I can play dress up with, she should not be dependent on me to get ready. From the age of six, I have given her the freedom to dress and wear whatever she wants and if some outfits are mismatched or look ‘silly’, it’s her freedom of expression. I cannot be the judge for her fashion sense. And honestly, it is such a thrill to see her choose her own clothes, match with chains and crocs or sneakers or sandals. I see my little girl growing up and I cannot be more proud.
Unpack your bags: While I pack her lunch bag and keep her school uniform and things ready to go before she wakes up; I have told her to be responsible for unpacking her own things. To remove her uniform and put it in the laundry bag, keep the lunch boxes in the kitchen sink and keep her school bag back in the cupboard are three things she does when she comes back every evening.
These small steps make a difference and I want to raise a pampered, loved but a very much independent and responsible young girl.
