SAFE PLACES IN

A Relationship. 

Many people are so keen on looking out for MEGA red flags in their partners, so much that they forget to watch out for silent warning signs.

There are certain silent indicators you must look out for that proves that you are in a healthy relationship.

I call them safe places.

1. Whether you are the jealousy type or not, ensure you are in a relationship where you can hear your partner's phone ring off without feeling an immediate urge to look at it, or have that nervousness to see who they are texting, because you trust each other without hidden motive. 

If you have this kind of an atmosphere where you are both transparent with your private space in your relationship, it's a safe place. This is a sign of sincerity and trustworthiness in a romantic relationship between spouses.

2. Getting into a fight and realizing that fight doesn’t automatically mean you’re going to break up, or that your partner will stop calling or avoid your calls. Wow, what a great and blessed and wonderful level of understanding admilst two parties in a relationship. It's so lovely and interesting and this create more Bond of friendship.

If you are experiencing this in your Relationship then I'm happy for you or let me just say congratulations to both of you or in advance to those who will soon be in a relationship and experience such. It's a sign of healthy romantic relationship.

You just know its a slight misunderstanding that won't be allowed to linger. What an amazing Relationship love life!

This is an amazing safe place, fight and reconcile without even the devil noticing anything was wrong. 

Any relationship that can smoothly enjoy this will definitely have little or no quarrel in marriage or if there then there won't be any need to involve third party to interfere before problems are solved.

3. I'm sure you want to be in a relationship where you can go out with your friends and not be bombarded by texts and calls from your partner asking what you’re doing or where are you. A relationship where no one is controlling anyone but both of you are responsible and accountable to each other.

 That's a safe place. Incredibly, I love such kind of relationship because it signifies emotional and social security amongst other people. If you are looking for a safe place for a perfect Relationship on Earth, it doesn't exist anywhere my dear but you can make it a reality when the two parties can mutually agree to work it out love and trust and respect each other for their personalities. Having this understanding, we are uniquely designed and wonderfully created differently by the creator so we must celebrate our differences in Love 💙.

 When you position yourself rightly to be trusted by your spouse and you stand by your words then your spouse can as well boldly trust in you confidently without looking back or considering taking such decision as risk but as deliberate mutual action towards each other.

 I pray for someone reading this write-up, may God grant you the grace to have this type of relationship. This is what most people desire but prayer alone will not do it. You must bring it to reality through work. In essence, make it work out.

4. Being able to be alone with your partner's family, especially their mom, lol, for more than five minutes without wanting to disappear from that atmosphere is a very special safe place. That point where you see your partner's family like they are yours. It's a big win for your marriage. 

5. I wish you understand this, but to be able to get to that place in your relationship where you don’t HAVE to engage in sexual intimacy to prove that you love your partner, it's a priceless safe place. That kind of an Amos 3:3 situation where you are both keeping your sexual purity without any pressure to prove your love.

6. There is so much peace in getting to that point in your relationship where you don't have to password your phone or hide it everytime you are together, with both of you having full access to each other's phones. Oh, joy! 

7. Taking care of each other when one of you is sick is a very underrated safe place. That level when your partner is happy to take care of you when you’re not feeling well, and not acting like they don't care. 

8. Feeling comfortable enough to totally be yourselves around each other. If you still have to pretend like you don’t fart around your partner then you both still have a long way to go. Being able to be YOU in front of your partner indicates a level of comfort and trust that is amazing to have. 

9. Not feeling pressured to write about how great your relationship is on social media because you don’t need to. There’s nothing wrong with letting the world know how you feel about bae. But when you feel the need to make a spectacle of your relationship on Social media every single day, watch the need to showoff for public validation. 

There are more, but these are just the basic things that are supposed to apply to any healthy relationship. Let nobody fool you with all that 'different strokes for different folks' settlement mentality. These strokes are applicable to all folks who want to make good progress with you towards marriage, unless you have decided to settle for what is available.

If one or more of these safe places are missing in your relationship, address it BOLDLY now, or endure it quietly later.

WHEN YOU ARE BUSY DATING YOURSELF IN A NONSENSE RELATIONSHIP.

Question: Baby, I haven't heard from you lately? I call but you don't pick up either, is everything okay?

Boo on Monday: I'm sorry, you know I have been working all day, and after work I stayed overtime to finish up with my project. 

Tuesday: love, got off late from work and had to run down to church. You know Tuesdays are my midweek service days.

Wednesday: sorry I had rehearsals after work, came home to watch the champions league game, tried to call but it was late already.

Thursday: the meeting lasted too long, got there and waited for hours for my boss to show up, got home too tired that I slept off.

Friday: the traffic was too bad, everywhere was blocked, had to sit in the bus for hours after a tiring day at work. 

Saturday: woke up late dear, tried to wash and clean up the house, finished late and had to sleep the whole afternoon, got up and watched the premier league game, you were on my mind to call ooo, but my battery died.

Sunday: service ended very late, so many Thanksgiving sessions and baby dedications. Got home and went straight to sleep, promised to call you when I woke up but I was busy with something else.

Public holiday: sorry baby, you know it's a resting day. Been home, went out with the boys later and came back pretty late. Couldn't call, network was terrible.

Sanitation day: love, I have been sweeping the streets and mopping the sea all day, forgot to call you.

Election day: bae, Been queuing up to vote all morning, thought I'll call when I'm done but I have been chasing the guy that stole the ballot box. Sorry.

Lockdown and stay home day: babe, I am sorry I couldn't call. I have been on lockdown all day. And my hand sanitizer finished.

Quarantine Day:

My love, I missed calling you, so sorry, I have been washing my face mask since yesterday.

Hmmm my dear, when you are in a relationship with the wrong person just forget it, the only thing they'll keep getting better at is making excuses.

We all make time for the things that matter to us, no matter how busy a person is, their mind will always be where their heart is.

Funny enough they are calling others, oh yes, they are making connections and keeping in touch with other people in their life. Check his phone, check her call log, you'll see that they have called more people than MTN customer care, the problem is you are not on their priority list, that's the truth. 

I get surprised when a person can go a day without calling someone they claim to love. A day can be excusable due to unforseen situations, but two days without reaching out via text, call, chat etc to someone you claim you can't live without? 

It's better to stay single please, than endure frustrationship with a touch of pet names.