The Effects of Toxic and Narcissistic Parenting

There is a lot of research that has been done on the impacts of toxic and Narcissistic Parenting on the behaviors of the children when they become adults. It is a huge part of social psychology to study how our interpersonal relationships, especially with our caregivers, sets up our life trajectory in many ways. It can impact everything from the partners we choose, to our career paths, to our mental and emotional health, and the company we keep. Studies have found that children of narcissistic parents have significantly higher rates of depression and lower self-esteem during adulthood, compared to those who didn't perceive their parents to be narcissistic. Often, a parent's lack of empathy towards their child contributes to this.

They Have Little or No Sense of Well-being

The child's own desires are denied, their feelings are restrained, and their emotional wellbeing is ignored for the sake of the parent's perceived success. As a result, these children often have few memories of feeling appreciated or loved by their parents for being themselves. They are taught to submit and conform, which causes them to lose touch of their individuality. This can lead to the child possessing few memories of feeling appreciated or loved by their parents, and they may struggle with trust, self-esteem, and confidence. They may also struggle with setting boundaries, because they are used to living in an environment

How to Break Free From a Narcissistic Parent

In order to break free from a narcissistic parent, you need to set up boundaries and non-negotiables. This means that you won't tolerate certain behaviors, such as unsolicited comments or judgments, from your family. You can also ask that they don't have input into your life choices. It's important to do this work with a therapist or professional to help identify the patterns of behavior your parent often does to control you. Once you recognize these patterns, you can set up boundaries to prevent them from happening.

How to Address Generational Trauma in Parenting

The role of generational trauma is something that definitely needs addressing, especially when it comes to how a parent chooses to raise their child. Generational trauma is often something that is unconscious, and so parents may not even realize that they are harming their children or that they are being narcissistic or neglectful. If you can identify that you are part of a cycle of intergenerational trauma, it is important to try to put a stop to it. This may mean talking to a professional about the long-term psychological and emotional harms that this upbringing may have caused. It is also important to forgive, not only for the sake of the other person, but also for yourself. This can be a difficult process, but it is important to release yourself from the cycle of shame and trauma.

The Importance of Parents in Mental Health

Our parents have a great impact on our future experiences in mental state. For the majority of our infancy in our childhood and even our early teens, we are entirely dependent on them for everything, for safety, for food, for compassion, and for confidence. We trust them and and we really need them. And even beyond that, the family that we are born into, it's perhaps like the single most important factor in determining our life trajectory.

How to Overcome a Toxic Parenting Environment

A study found that the family you are born into often determines your life path and where you end up, not just your income bracket and your education and opportunities, but also the trauma you hold, the beliefs, the values you have, and many aspects of your long-term health. A toxic, narcissistic, or abusive caregiving environment can have lasting impacts, but it is mitigated by many other important determinants and it's always important to take a strength based approach. There is definitely a discussion to be had about what we can do to try and navigate our adult relationship with our parents and how do we overcome perhaps an abusive or toxic or narcissistic caregiving environment when we were children.

What's the Difference Between a Healthy Childhood and a Toxic One?

A healthy childhood environment is one that is free of trauma, one that is free of, not necessarily struggle, but one that is supportive in which we feel like the people who surround us, particularly our parents, are providing our needs and the needs that we essentially need met. It's not necessarily one that is free of trauma, it's one that that is an environment of support, whereas a toxic childhood environment might be one in which your needs aren't met emotionally, physically, socially, mentally.

And it's often defined by some level of trauma. And I think when we think about trauma, we often think about really major events like a war or a massive accident or a massive, you know, injury or illness or, or a death. That's not always necessarily the case. When we talk more about toxic parenting, we'll see that even just an unstable and negative upbringing and and parental environment is enough to create PTSD and long term trauma.

So essentially toxic parenting, it's poor parenting in which the relationship that a parent and child has is not healthy, is not conducive to collaboration and to support and to unconditional love, which is I think something every child really, really needs. And it's not always the parent's fault, you know, like we

What Are the Four Elements of Effective Parenting?

Diana Borin was a researcher who looked into the psychology behind why parents raise their children differently. She observed children across many different generations and environments and cultures and found that there are four basic elements that help shape successful parenting. These four elements are responsiveness, unresponsiveness, demandingness, and un demandingness. Authoritative and authoritarian parenting styles are two of the four parenting styles that result from these elements.

Types of Parenting Styles

There are four types of parenting styles: authoritative, permissive, uninvolved, and neglectful. Authoritative parenting is the most prominent parenting style and is considered the most developmentally healthy and effective parenting style by experts. This parenting style is characterized by rules and consequences for the actions of children, but also takes their children's opinion into account. Permissive parenting is characterized by being super loving and affectionate, but not making many demands of their children. They are very lenient and avoid conflict with their children. Uninvolved parenting is characterized by being detached from their children and not being interested in their children's lives. Neglectful parenting is characterized by not providing their children with basic needs like food, shelter, and clothing.

What is Uninvolved Parenting?

Uninvolved parenting is when parents demand almost nothing from their children and give nothing in return. This type of parenting can be neglectful and is often linked to narcissistic parenting. Narcissistic parents are those who have an excessive interest in themselves and are unable to see the point of view of others. This type of parenting can be harmful to children as they may not feel cared for or supported.

What is Narcissistic Parental Abuse?

So researchers have found that when narcissists have children, they often lose interest in their children entirely and look for other sources of validation. This can lead to what is called narcissistic parental abuse, which is when parents excessively need admiration or attention at an enormous cost to their child's development and wellbeing. The goal of narcissistic abuse is to be in control and be the most important person in the room. Victims of narcissistic parental abuse often feel ashamed, unimportant, and insignificant.

How to Overcome Narcissistic Parental Abuse

There are different types of narcissistic parental abuse, including physical, psychological, emotional, and verbal abuse. Narcissistic parents abuse their children by making them feel alone, invisible, and unvalued. This type of abuse can be harmful in the long term. Some ways to identify the impacts of this type of abuse include feeling isolated, feeling like you can't trust anyone, and feeling like you're not good enough. Some strategies to overcome the difficulties of this type of abuse include seeking professional help, developing a support system, and practicing self-care.