A friend from Delhi once remarked, “But for the sadya, your weddings are so simple. You don’t have haldi, mehendi, sangeet… the marriage is over in just a few minutes.” That was about years ago when she was in Kerala for a Hindu wedding.

If she were to attend a Malayali wedding now, she would change her opinion. At present, weddings in Kerala have become vibrant, colourful events, complete with music and dance, all inspired by the movies, as well as social media.

In contrast to the big Bollywood style weddings, however, these events have simultaneously become more intimate. “Families have been cutting back on the number of guests and choosing to have ceremonies such as haldi, mehendi, and sangeet with family and friends,” says Pooja Jijoe, CEO of Kochi-based Unicorn Weddings and Event Planners, adding that especially after the pandemic, guests are usually restricted to 100 or 150. She adds that families of the bride and groom often rent a resort or homestay, where they hold all the functions together. “Sometimes we take care of everything, right from the selection of the venue to décor and arranging for choreographers and photographers,” says Pooja.

Many couples arrange multiple ceremonies for their friends, especially for guests from outside Kerala, adds Sineesh Gopal of Weva Photography. Photographers are always in attendance, with couples insisting on candid shots, studio sessions and outdoor shoots, with a set specifically tailored to be posted as Instagram Reels.

Thiruvalla-based Dr Anjana S Gokul married Dr Harisankar MS in August, and the wedding included haldi and mehendi ceremonies. “I was planning a minimalist wedding. But I wanted my Kannadiga friends to enjoy the function, since they have a lot of events at their weddings. They arranged everything for my haldi and mehendi, starting with the décor. It was a novel experience for everyone, and we had a great time.”

Stating that the haldi ceremony is now popular at Kerala weddings, across different faiths, Sofia Mathew, director of Kochi-based Watermark Event Solutions says “now it has become a joyful affair, and a chance to have fun with friends, with everyone getting covered in turmeric, and capturing those moments on camera.”

Fathima Sherin from Thiruvananthapuram says her haldi session was inspired by Bollywood. An assistant professor at an engineering college, she says: “It was arranged at my home, so I could spend it with people who matter the most for me… it was so beautiful with all of us dressed in yellow and celebrations going late into the night.”

Bespoke jewellery

Brides are very particular about costumes and jewellery for the functions. Nita Vijay Lerry, a homemaker-cum-entrepreneur from Thiruvananthapuram, has been selling customised jewellery for these functions under her online brand, Nilaby’s, for over a year now. “They are made with foam flowers. We have chokers, long chains, earrings, maang tikka (jewellery worn on the forehead), nose ring, tiara, bracelets, chain connecting bracelet with rings, hip chain, anklets, headbands etc,” says Nita. The rates start from ₹700-800 for a set of choker, earrings and maang tikka.

Choreographers are arranged to set the dance routines and teach the dancers, who usually include the family elders and children in addition to the bride and the groom. “Some families have theme-based functions. While Bollywood style is common, we have done routines with Western dance forms as well,” says state-award-winning choreographer Sajna Najam.

Her dancers often perform at these pre-wedding programmes. She adds that couples sometimes ask to recreate iconic wedding scenes from movies like Hum Aapke Hain Kaun. Sajna adds that she had organised a haldi ceremony for her daughter’s wedding in 2015.

Revathy Ashok from Alappuzha combined her mehendi with a sangeet and cocktail party for her wedding in May this year. “I was specific about the songs and we had choreographers. Our team of 50 competed against the groom’s party; they had more performers and won it as well,” says Revathy, an audiologist and speech-language pathologist.

She adds, “Some of my relatives, in their 70s, started their dance classes one month before the wedding and often met once a week for rehearsals. I wanted to go back to the time when all relatives would gather at the bride’s home on the wedding eve and become a part of the celebration.”