It is not easy to be a Firstborn. A lot of responsibility is placed on your shoulders right from the moment you were born. And no, it doesn’t matter if you asked for it or not. You are the “womb-opener” the one who made your mother a mother and your father a father.  

First of all, your learning process will be fast-forwarded. You cannot be doing like okro when learning things. Don’t you know that there there are people coming after you soon? How dare you waste time? Common, learn that thing fast my friend!

Don’t even think of enjoying your childhood for so long. Once you’re a year and two months old, you aff grow finish. If your own now want to done, “second born” will almost be ready to land. Little devils, those ones. They exist to frustrate your firstborn ministry. Don’t gree for them oh.

Ordinary small play, you cannot play. “Don’t you know you are a big girl/boy?” Hian let me play with sand na! you cannot even cry in peace if you break your leg. Suck it up jor!

House chores nko? You will sweep the compound, mop the ceiling, cut the grass. If you’re not careful, you will wash the sky. You dare not complain, no. You are the firstborn, first of your name, defender of coconut heads called siblings and sufferer of blames.

Anything done in that house is on you. If you like, be physically absent, your spirit must step in on your behalf. No slacking.

Anyway sha, one day, you will sleep like a bricklayer after playing in the sand all day, only to wake up and find yourself in the university. Mai dia, you finished primary school, secondary school, wrote WAEC and Jamb and gained admission into the university in on night. No jokes.

But it doesn’t end there. You are also responsible for influencing your siblings. Shhhh! Don’t tell me they are adults with their own minds and capable of making decisions. Even if they are in their 50s, they copy everything you do. They are zombies, no mind, no brain, no thoughts.

Eventually, when you start working, you have to be doing small something in the house. It doesn’t matter if you’re struggling, it is expected that you shake body once once no matter how small.

My heart and prayers go out to the firstborns who are not firstborning right now. The Lord is your muscle dears.

If you see a firstborn today, give them a hug, a kiss on the forehead and put small something in their account. It is not easy.