I am going to suggest a different self that leads directly to a happy and meaningful life.

It is our own real identity!

We don’t get to live our identity these days, because our civilization has forgotten how to nurture.

Not living our own identity leaves us hurting and confused!

We all start out living our identity. As with all other life, we are supposed to get support in developing our own abilities.

That would result in us “living out loud”! With full confidence and self-esteem, which is the natural condition for all life, we would certainly enjoy a happy and meaningful life!

In our present world though, this isn’t allowed to happen.

Our identity normally uses instincts, feelings, all of our senses, and awareness of our inner condition and the world, to power and guide us in all of our efforts.

We all start out this way. We learn to walk and talk, all through our own resources. If supported in our own efforts in this, the natural way, we would continue through life with full self-esteem and confidence.

All life on the planet nurtures, or at the very least doesn’t interfere with the identity of their offspring.

Mankind has forgotten to nurture. We pay for it dearly. The condition of our civilization varies with how much we accept the true identity of our offspring. When we block it, in favor of obedience, we get hurting people who have disconnected from their own feelings because of the pain caused by their hurting identity!

This is our world today!

We all hurt! When we enter therapy, we drag out terrible feelings. If we stay in therapy long enough, we arrive at childhood hurts. That’s because this is where we all get badly hurt, and lose connection with our own identity.

The world has to relearn how to nurture. The real identity, like it or not, has to be supported and encouraged. That alone fixes everything. It turns civilization into utopia!

People who are fully connected, still enjoying feelings, are the kind, gentle, and playful people. They are non destructive.

It’s those who hurt that have no comfort, and can be cruel!

For ourselves, the people who lost connection because of hurt, there is a way back to regaining real life, together with our identity. This can give us back our feelings and instincts.

Instead of pushing our worst feelings away, we welcome them into our lives. They are us now, fair or not. We are reintegrating our feelings which unblocks the connection with our own original identity.

There will be guilt, because we honestly felt like this was our fault. It wasn’t, but we didn’t know that at the time. There will be fear. Being on our own without the power of our identity is, of course frightening. There will be lots, and lots of shame. We felt inadequate! We actually believed we were at fault. We weren’t, of course. We weren’t bad either. Our identity wanted to power our life, as it should, and it got us into trouble, which should never have had to happen.

The trick of recovery is to accept these horrible feelings into our life. They are us now. As we accept them, everything starts getting better. We just begin to feel good, and that makes us appear more attractive.

We begin to have fun. It becomes a new chapter in our lives. Any effort in this direction brings more inner content, happiness, and better relationships than any amount of money ever could. Of course self-esteem and confidence begin to grow back. This is where real life is at!

Hope this helps.

Good luck on your journey,

Take care,

Norm

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