All the simple ways just move problems around, trading one for another.
That’s because what happened to us is far from simple.
We started out anxiety free, and so completely self-accepting that we never would have thought to question it.
Then it happened!
It’s all about Identity.
All life lives from identity. It’s our instincts. It’s Racial Wisdom. It’s our needs, wants, and interests. It’s who we are.
Throughout the entire planet all life is encouraged in every way to go for it. Use their identity to succeed in life.
Mankind is in the process of making a colossal blunder. We don’t allow identity! Not only do we discourage it, we give it no room at all to even exist!
The result, of course, is anxiety. As for self-acceptance, we have been taught not to.
There is no way at all that we could ever accept ourselves, when nobody else would accept our real selves in our early life.
To follow the rules, and be obedient, we each had to learn how to deal with the driving force coming from our own identity. We had to find a way to ignore it, in order to be “good”.
No o0ther life faces this challenge. It never should have happened to us either.
When we learned to back away and ignore our identity we lost everything. It hurt so bad, death might have been an Equal choice. It was probably close for all of us.
Our instincts are gone. Our racial wisdom, our natural sense of right and wrong, our feelings, and our awareness of our own wishes and needs are all gone as well.
Probably the most destructive part of this process is we have become disconnected, and now we have motivation to lie. Just look where that took mankind!
We were kind, loving, cooperative playful and loving. Now we don’t really know who we are. We only know we are not comfortable, and we used to be part of something infinitely important and valuable.
Getting back is not simple.
The real answer is to never do this to another person.
For us, we have to reintegrate those feelings of fear and despair that accompanied our separation from our identity. That’s therapy. We dig up our horrible feelings and we talk them out. That’s accepting that part of ourselves back into our awareness. We need the whole thing back. Then we become king of the world once again.
I feel a need to include the following for those who take this seriously.
Managing differences, and still respecting identities!
After we allow our kids their right to live their own identity, there will be times when we want different things than they do. How do we cope with that?
Compared to the resentment and emotional damage that differences are causing now, it’s a small problem, and without hostility.
However it still exists. When we take the leap, and allow our kids their natural right to power their own life, a new relationship happens that nobody from this age has any experience with!
Not many of us have worked in a situation, where we can’t demand our own way through direct power.
Since we can’t do that, how do we deal with differing wishes?
Announcing our methods our loud like that, really does display them in an unfortunate, but accurate light, doesn’t it?
This difference of wishes will be happening in a whole new environment this time. Resentment will not exist. Distance between people will never have happened. All parties will love, and trust each other openly.
Quite a difference!
Cooperation will not have been destroyed. Communication is open and not riddled with emotional traps and expectations.
But you have to go to work, and they want to stay at their friends, and play!
How do we manage this?
The secret is identities.
They must always remain equal!
In the light of the universe, they always are!
This way of thinking is a long way from how we see the world now. On the other hand, it’s natural, it’s the condition we were in at our absolute happiest, and it’s the natural way to see the world. Through these eyes, all the magic of the universe can be enjoyed, as we did once.
From our viewpoint of controlling each other because we think we know best, we can’t see much of anything, or feel much either!
Small and weak as children are, the identity of each life carries the same immense power.
We see that balance in nature all the time.
The secret is, we need to manage the “needs” of the moment.
All parties must agree that the most important things always have to come first.
And they will! The waters have not been muddied through direct force, and deception. Ever notice how often direct force and deception happen together?
Cooperation really does happen. No force is required!
When every party recognizes that need is the determining factor in every decision, and disagreements are not power struggles, agreement comes quick and easy, without resentment.
Trust becomes absolute!
When we announce we must leave now, they will understand, because they have never been lied to, and because they recognize it’s a real necessity.
We don’t get our way all the time, and neither do they.
Even the negotiation is delightful in this new relationship!
Not getting our own way probably sounds exhausting and impossible to live with, but in this new world, it isn’t.
This is a whole different life. Our energy hasn’t been drained by endless exasperation and conflict. Our energy has been boosted by love, trust, and voluntary cooperation.
Strangely enough, an open, honest, equal power relationship fills us with energy, like a cup that fills itself.
We feel on top of life, and ready for anything. Feeling support such as this is a lost art. It feels magnificent!
It’s what we always needed. It works.
Our current method of fighting our way to be on top, all the while, making it impossible to feel good about ourselves, doesn’t work! We all have a craving need to feel proud of ourselves.
Those relationships based on identities, and equal importance really do happen, and it’s way better than I could ever explain! It’s the way we were.
Thank you for your time and interest.
Good luck on your journey.
Take care,
Norm
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