I’d say we all grieve differently, not just from the Death of a loved one, but of a life situation. Not everything in life is Meant to be forever, I’m now beginning to fully understand that. We all realize that life, as we evolve it changes and so do we. I feel as though we should be handed a guidebook sometimes, reflect and bookmark pages. Fold down the tabs of life, never knowing when we need the advice on those pages.
Healing from the grief is what is most important. We cry, scream and go through the stages which include: denial and acceptance. I know after my mother passed, I wanted to bargain her for myself, to be able to allow her to fulfill her dreams. To this day, I still carry some guilt that she didn’t get to be the pastry chef, that lived in a loft. That was her dream since I was a child, she even drew out a blueprint in her books, which I still have. I can’t bring myself to get rid of them, I can still trace my fingers along the pages snd the binding, memories of her come flashing back. Forever will I treasure things that meant so very much to her, it’s part of her.
PSTD; is something that many people including myself, have suffered from at one point in their lives. Whether it be abuse at the hands of someone you know or a stranger, death or an event such as a major car accident, we have all been there. Stress can make or break you. The boat is out there, but are you wearing your life jacket? If you aren’t, you better believe there is going to be some waves and turbulence. We move within an emotional perimeter, soaking it all up like a sponge. How did we get to this point, how do we break free? That my friends, begins within. Healing the heart is one of the hardest snd sometimes, is not really possible. Heartbreak, is a realm in which most of us don’t ever want to exist in, the unknown.
Traumas are things we don’t really discuss, they are taboo at times, no one wants to wade, through the muddy waters. Especially when the end result, can’t be tied up in a pretty bow and discarded. Resources should be available to those who need them, don’t use the stigma of “well this doesn’t work for me”, no it will work, because you will put the effort into it. When I use to have my own emotional breakdowns, especially after the loss of my mother, there was really no one that I felt understood me. I had to work through a lot of that, the turmoil that swirled in my mind, the “what if’s”, that still at times are triggered. Overcoming it wasn’t easy, it took years to put my life back together. Little parts of myself have returned. I can finally catch my breath. I think that’s what we all need sometimes, our own version of “fresh air”, after a period of drowning.
Lastly, I want to touch on some things. This week I enrolled in a medical terminology class, stay tuned for that journey! I’m finally doing something that I truly love, I’m happy again, a part of who I was came back. Honestly looking back on the last 5 years, especially the last 6-9 months, I was truly able to find myself again. To flourish in something other than the industry, I felt I would be destined to stay in forever. Breaking patterns and creating new headway other places, it’s what I was meant to do. I’ve seen traumas, life snd death in the past 2 weeks, and I loved it. Not once did I back down from the challenge, nor do I plan to. I now know what I was meant to be, personally and professionally. This journey has truly been the best part of my life, the chapters continue to be written, and feels freakin amazing!!!
Take Care,
Taaury37
