Michael Bay Gives A constant need for love reassurance can lead to problems in a Relationship iStock.com / andrej k If you ask your partner repeatedly the question Do you love me? “Maybe you’re headed for trouble. That sounds as endearing as it may sound almost as vulnerable as it gets. You want to know, of course, that they actually love you, but they have the right to say it on their own. When you never feel comfortable in the relationship irrespective of what they do, it could be because the person cheats on you or is not involved or you are too careful, says Jane Greer Ph.D. relationship expert and author of What About Me? Avoid selfishness from the friendship ruining.
When the significant other person may not want to participate in some physical activity, you should not push the topic regularly or under pressure to do so | iStock.com/alexsokolov If an individual does not want to engage in a specific form of physical activity (this may involve sexual activity) and the other person in the relationship continues to persist, it can appear as b If you consent to this right from the start, then you will understand that the other person clearly does not want to participate in it and avoid asking Dawn Michael Ph.D., clinical sexologist relationship specialist and author of My Husband Won’t Have Sex With Me. If the question has never been discussed and is a subject you would like to explore. You don’t want to push the individual to do something that they don’t feel comfortable with. 4. You watch over their social media pages Constantly checking up on your significant other may be a sign of need and fear | iStock.com/HStocks If you know the password for all of their accounts and constantly sign in to see what they re up to — particularly if it’s behind their back — you might want to reconsider your intentions. The same goes about making constant remarks or enjoying all they do. While they may appreciate your support and regular interactions, if you allow each other space on social media as well as in life, it is safer for the relationship. 5.
You are constantly changing your plans to spend more time with them
If you find yourself doing more than just making a schedule to set up time together, you could go overboard together. Trading other important facets of yourself and your life, such as hanging out with friends or taking part in activities that you enjoy to be more often with your partner, is a sign that you need more space, not less Dr. Holbrook says. 6.
You don’t deserve anything short of crazy romantic gestures
We all love grand romantic gestures but don’t always expect them from your partner iStock.com / dima sidelnikov
7. You continuously text your partner
It’s okay to take some time in a relationship for yourself and your needs iStock.com / Renato Arap Similar to being in physical proximity, Dr. Holbrook describes the need to be close to your partner all the time is detrimental. Most likely you are doing this because you want to know how much that person is thinking about you and/or missing you all day, even during work hours or school hours. But when you both need space, learning how to distance yourself will only make the time you spend together so much richer. 8. You need constant validation
Be confident who you are | iStock.com/UberImages If you’re upset when your partner doesn’t rave about the new pair of skinny jeans you’ve just bought or the funny animal video you’ve shared on your Facebook wall, you might need to reconsider how you’re gaining your value as Dr. Holbrook says. She also adds that “if you do not learn to get your meaning from your own inner voice you will still feel a sense of lack.”
It’s a good thing to be interested but don’t cover your partner with constant questions iStock.com / AndreyPopov Room is one of the best things you can give people in relationships — and it’s valid for friends and family as well. Finding out what makes your partner tick is one thing but over-asking about their feelings and emotions because you’re looking for validation or just starting a conversation about yourself or your relationship is a sign that Dr. Holbrook suggests you might be too in need. 11.
You push them to rush into a relationship before they re-ready
Rushing into a relationship when both parties are t absolutely ready just causes complications as a couple for their future. Just because you might feel ready to take the plunge does not mean that your partner is ready so that you have to be careful for the sake of Dr. Michael’s relationship. If your standards seem realistic and this has never been a concern before for you then maybe that person isn’t material for relationships. The conditions are always to weigh. 12.
You know what they say: People don’t change iStock.com / oneinchpunch
13. You feel like you need them around you every second
In the early stages of a relationship you may become addicted to your significant other iStock.com / pecaphoto77 It is undeniably sweet to feel like you never get tired of anybody — especially at the beginning of a relationship — but remember to acknowledge that the other person may feel different. With or without your partner Dr. Holbrook says you should be able to do your daily living activities. If you feel like they have to be with you 24/7, it’s time to learn some freedom. Ultimately, once you know how to cope with and handle life alone you will feel much more confident and much more desirable. 14.14. You want to call them endlessly and hear their voice
It might be tempting to call them all the time, but doing so will just scare them away iStock.com / ajr images Wanting to talk to someone every hour of the hour is a little bit of a lot. It is important to be always respectful of the limits of the other person, says Dr. Michael. Remember that some people need more space than others so frequent calling may make the other partner feel claustrophobic — either just to say hi or to actually communicate something important. Seek to find a contact style that works for both of you, and be sure to set a timetable that feels comfortable.
Apart from communication, the foundation of any partnership is confidence iStock.com / Sjale This type of behavior may well be due to the fact that you have reasonable grounds to mistrust them. For eg, if you think (or know) that they cheat on you again. But it may also be a feeling from a previous relationship that you are carrying over. You may have come from a dysfunctional household or you may have been deceived before Dr. Holbrook says so. Of course, mistrust is understandable if you think something is wrong, but if you re-freak when your partner is a couple of minutes late or with friends you may be a little too clingy. Try to give your partner some space to be yourself and trust they will have your best intentions in mind. 16.
You get irritated by anything but you if you feel so desperate for attention that nothing is off-limits as long as your partner thinks twice about the values you hold dear. An example might be to go up to his apartment on the first date when you don’t feel comfortable just because you’re afraid to offend him or go along with everything he suggests from movies to restaurants. You have the right to your own view on issues — and if your partner
is a decent person, he’ll be glad you can stand your ground. 18.
You’re afraid to take chances out of fear that they will abandon you
Though sometimes you’ll have to make sacrifices in your relationships make sure you don’t give up something that’s really important to your happiness Source: iStockIt’s a good thing to be interested but don’t cover your partner with constant questions iStock.com / AndreyPopov Room is one of the best things you can give people in relationships — and it’s valid for friends and family as well. Finding out what makes your partner tick is one thing but over-asking about their feelings and emotions because you’re looking for validation or just starting a conversation about yourself or your relationship is a sign that Dr. Holbrook suggests you might be too in need. 11.
You push them to rush into a relationship before they re-ready
Rushing into a relationship when both parties are t absolutely ready just causes complications as a couple for their future. Just because you might feel ready to take the plunge does not mean that your partner is ready so that you have to be careful for the sake of Dr. Michael’s relationship. If your standards seem realistic and this has never been a concern before for you then maybe that person isn’t material for relationships. The conditions are always to weigh. 12.
You know what they say: People don’t change iStock.com / oneinchpunch
13. You feel like you need them around you every second
In the early stages of a relationship you may become addicted to your significant other iStock.com / pecaphoto77 It is undeniably sweet to feel like you never get tired of anybody — especially at the beginning of a relationship — but remember to acknowledge that the other person may feel different. With or without your partner Dr. Holbrook says you should be able to do your daily living activities. If you feel like they have to be with you 24/7, it’s time to learn some freedom. Ultimately, once you know how to cope with and handle life alone you will feel much more confident and much more desirable. 14.14. You want to call them endlessly and hear their voice
It might be tempting to call them all the time, but doing so will just scare them away iStock.com / ajr images Wanting to talk to someone every hour of the hour is a little bit of a lot. It is important to be always respectful of the limits of the other person, says Dr. Michael. Remember that some people need more space than others so frequent calling may make the other partner feel claustrophobic — either just to say hi or to actually communicate something important. Seek to find a contact style that works for both of you, and be sure to set a timetable that feels comfortable.
Apart from communication, the foundation of any partnership is confidence iStock.com / Sjale This type of behavior may well be due to the fact that you have reasonable grounds to mistrust them. For eg, if you think (or know) that they cheat on you again. But it may also be a feeling from a previous relationship that you are carrying over. You may have come from a dysfunctional household or you may have been deceived before Dr. Holbrook says so. Of course, mistrust is understandable if you think something is wrong, but if you re-freak when your partner is a couple of minutes late or with friends you may be a little too clingy. Try to give your partner some space to be yourself and trust they will have your best intentions in mind. 16.
You get irritated by anything but you if you feel so desperate for attention that nothing is off-limits as long as your partner thinks twice about the values you hold dear. An example might be to go up to his apartment on the first date when you don’t feel comfortable just because you’re afraid to offend him or go along with everything he suggests from movies to restaurants. You have the right to your own view on issues — and if your partner is a decent person, he’ll be glad you can stand your ground. 18.
You’re afraid to take chances out of fear that they will abandon you
Though sometimes you’ll have to make sacrifices in your relationships make sure you don’t give up something that’s really important to your happiness Source: iStock
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