This is not a Cakewalk

Today marks the start of the fifth week of working from home.  Of being alone.  Of social distancing.  Unfortunately, I got sick right before the realization of exactly what the coronavirus was began.  So unlike my colleagues, who worked up to the time that our CEO called for a company-wide remote work strategy, I was already confined to the walls and space within my apartment.  An apartment, I might add, that I am beyond grateful for during this time. 

Despite all of the things that I find myself grateful for, I have to admit.  This is hard.  Social distancing is hard.  Staying away from those that I love and cherish is hard.  Funny, I was so adamant about living alone because it’s nice to have my own space and I enjoy decorating.  I love cleaning how and when I want and knowing that when I put something in a certain place, it will only be moved by my hands when and where I want it.  Now, I find myself longing for company and human contact, but ultimately grateful that I have Raja by my side to provide cuddles, laughs, and companionship. 

96% of the country is now fully realizing the impact that the coronavirus is having on our county, on our communities, on our families, and on ourselves.  People from the West to the East are hunkering down and sheltering in place, hoping and praying that the virus doesn’t touch them or their loved ones.  Many are faced with a new form of isolation that they’ve never experienced before.  One in which you can be in the same room as a loved one… in the same space as a loved one.. and not be able to touch.  A new reality in which those that you love are no longer a hug away.  It’s time that we’re open and honest with not only each other, but ourselves.  This. Is. Hard.

Transparency is Key

Transparency is important always, but even more-so during this time of uncertainty.  As someone who devours information to stay calm and clear headed when things are turbulent, I find myself setting boundaries so as not to become too overwhelmed.  I’ve had BIG feelings for weeks and it feels like just now they are coming to a head.  As I appreciate transparency from others, I’m finding that it’s important for me to be transparent with myself.

I’m scared.  I’m uncomfortable.  I’m lonely.  I’m worried.  I’m angry.  I’m disappointed.  I’m nervous.  I’m curious.  I’m anxious.  I’m grateful.  I’m humbled.  I’m confused.  

I have SO MANY feelings.  It can be hard to process just one big feeling, let alone many at one time.  I’m finding that the coping skills that I would usually turn too, going on a long walk, spending time with a good friend, giving and receiving a hug… are the very things I’m not able to do right now.  So, I’m learning in real time to find new coping skills.  I know that I’m not the only one facing this new challenge.

Give Yourself Grace

Now, more than ever, it’s so important to exercise that muscle I like to call resiliency.  How do I start putting things in place that can not only help me get through this time, but allow me to bounce back after it?  What do these new tools look like and how do I begin implementing them?

This morning, I woke up after having a few rough days, transparency.  I spent a good chunk of yesterday crying and cleaning, knowing that in my overwhelmed state of being, I needed to keep myself busy.  I went to sleep early while promising myself that tomorrow would be a new day.  Tomorrow it is.  Today, I woke up, made my bed, took Raja out for a walk, and found the peace that I’ve been longing for and the peace that I so needed. 

As a person of faith, my peace comes from taking the time to connect and build upon my spirit.  So I participated in virtual church and wrote my thoughts in my journal.  Peace.  Such a great feeling and a great sign.  I was reminded that not only do I have this, but a power far greater than myself has this as well.  Together, we’ll get through this challenge in one piece.  

I started to make a list.  I wrote out all of the feelings that I have that can be explained with words: good and bad.  I separated them into positive feelings and negative feelings.  Surprise, surprise, the negative feelings far outweighed the positive ones.  I then made a list of all of the things that I can do inside, on my own, that bring me joy and comfort: Reading, writing, journaling, drawing.  

I made the decision that I wasn’t going to let my feelings overwhelm me anymore and I was going to give myself grace.  Sometimes, I think it far more powerful to give ourselves grace than to give others grace (thought that’s important too).  

Keep Positive. Stay Resilient.  

Today marks the first day of week 5 of my social distancing.  The news is scary, the virus is scary, I have big feelings that relate to both.

Today is also the day that I have made the decision to not let these big feelings take over during this challenging time, but to let those feelings thrust me into a state of greatness that I would not have found otherwise.

I am going to let all of the feelings that I have, positive and negative, push me towards building a new set of tools for my resiliency toolbox and setting goals that will only build upon the person that I am and push me in the direction of the person that I want to become.

We are all living in unprecedented times.  We are.  Everything that is happening is surreal and uncomfortable for us all, but we can’t sit around and let these feelings and this new reality takeover.  It’s important to be transparent with ourselves and realize that our world is going to be different now and big changes are coming in the future.  I challenge you to take a moment, take a breathe, and find ways to cope with the now while preparing for the what’s to come.

I’d love to know some ways you’re coping during this time and some things you are doing to keep positive and be resilient!  Leave a comment below!