So our time in Thailand is over!
I have to say the last two weeks have been both the best and worst of my life. I’m not trying to compare what I’ve experienced to people experiencing genuine problems in their lives but it’s truly been an emotional rollercoaster.
The actual logistics of Leaving Thailand has straightforward and seamless. Chris left a week ago and has been getting everything set up back in the UK. The dogs got picked up, flew back and arrived safely. And our container has already docked and will be delivered next week. And finally, I’m on the plane currently passing over Kazakhstan, the biggest setback being denied the purchase of a bottle of gin at the airport as I have a connecting flight.
But the accompanying emotion has been overwhelming. I feel like Thailand has been steadily tightening its grip on me, showing me all it’s best bits in a crazy, hedonistic and affectionate whirlwind.
The difference between my departure from the UK to Leaving Thailand this time has been vast. When you leave a job in the UK you normally only need to keep it together for one farewell party at most and maybe one session of saying goodbye to people in the office. It’s so British! Brief and relatively emotionless.
In Thailand, it seems people really want to make sure you know what you’re saying goodbye to! Between the farewell parties, gifts, and kind messages, you feel so much love and kindness from everyone that you’re elated and depressed at the same time. And doing this for 2 solid weeks means the emotion builds up inside you until you reach the end a blubbering wreck.
I’ve found my coping mechanism has been dealing with everything in stages, not really thinking in any detail beyond each milestone, such as canceling my work permit or the dogs leaving. This has made day to day life easier to get through but has also bred a slight detachment from reality. I’ve been unable to really visualize life in the UK and equally unable to imagine not living in Thailand. Even as I write this I can’t really believe it’s all over.
On my last night in Bangkok, it occurred to me that the feeling is akin to what happens when you break up with your first serious boyfriend. It’s something you’ve not experienced before so you don’t know what to expect. The tears come in waves, can be uncontrollable and occur at inappropriate moments such as when you’re saying goodbye to a casual acquaintance in a car park or in the True shop canceling the home internet contract. The feelings are melodramatic and you wonder if you’ll ever feel normal again although it’s likely in a few weeks I will look back and not be able to understand how I felt.
But right now, it’s got me and I’ll have to work it through crying on the plane at films that are really not sad.
So farewell Thailand! You truly have taken a piece of my heart.
I have to say the last two weeks have been both the best and worst of my life. I’m not trying to compare what I’ve experienced to people experiencing genuine problems in their lives but it’s truly been an emotional rollercoaster.
The actual logistics of Leaving Thailand has straightforward and seamless. Chris left a week ago and has been getting everything set up back in the UK. The dogs got picked up, flew back and arrived safely. And our container has already docked and will be delivered next week. And finally, I’m on the plane currently passing over Kazakhstan, the biggest setback being denied the purchase of a bottle of gin at the airport as I have a connecting flight.
But the accompanying emotion has been overwhelming. I feel like Thailand has been steadily tightening its grip on me, showing me all it’s best bits in a crazy, hedonistic and affectionate whirlwind.
The difference between my departure from the UK to Leaving Thailand this time has been vast. When you leave a job in the UK you normally only need to keep it together for one farewell party at most and maybe one session of saying goodbye to people in the office. It’s so British! Brief and relatively emotionless.
In Thailand, it seems people really want to make sure you know what you’re saying goodbye to! Between the farewell parties, gifts, and kind messages, you feel so much love and kindness from everyone that you’re elated and depressed at the same time. And doing this for 2 solid weeks means the emotion builds up inside you until you reach the end a blubbering wreck.
I’ve found my coping mechanism has been dealing with everything in stages, not really thinking in any detail beyond each milestone, such as canceling my work permit or the dogs leaving. This has made day to day life easier to get through but has also bred a slight detachment from reality. I’ve been unable to really visualize life in the UK and equally unable to imagine not living in Thailand. Even as I write this I can’t really believe it’s all over.
On my last night in Bangkok, it occurred to me that the feeling is akin to what happens when you break up with your first serious boyfriend. It’s something you’ve not experienced before so you don’t know what to expect. The tears come in waves, can be uncontrollable and occur at inappropriate moments such as when you’re saying goodbye to a casual acquaintance in a car park or in the True shop canceling the home internet contract. The feelings are melodramatic and you wonder if you’ll ever feel normal again although it’s likely in a few weeks I will look back and not be able to understand how I felt.
But right now, it’s got me and I’ll have to work it through crying on the plane at films that are really not sad.
So farewell Thailand! You truly have taken a piece of my heart.
This post first appeared on Living In Bangkok With Two Lurchers, please read the originial post: here
