Lets be real. We all love a man in uniform. The only uniform I can walk away from is mall security guard. I have experienced the charisma and charm that is the mall cop often and trust me, its a dead end. I have spent most of my adult life walking in and out of your local mall. The arm forces of the Pretzel place is protecting us from absolutely nothing , and could give Forrest Gump the gold medal in long distance running ( "officers" a la The Icing.... my deepest apologies) . Truth is, the myth of the "white knight" was extinguished years ago for me. The Cinderella complex is something I have preached to all the seasonal associates that would listen for years now. He doesn't exist. He isn't on a white horse galloping your direction. To be honest, he has acne and might be wearing loafers with no socks (prep oneself for a odor eaters bonanza that even CVS can't supply)
The truth is, the uniform cop with abs of steal and locks of blonde hair that ever so carefully covers his face ....is in fact, a jerk . He is the guy in the bar who tells you " you would be so cute if you lost weight". I could lose weight , true, but a #4 with no onions has given me far more pleasure than this puddle deep conversation you are barely able to compete in ( actual verbiage used ) . He is the guy who can't hold a door, make eye contact, or lie to your momma about how terrible the dinner she made is. He doesn't call back, text quick, or remember that thing that was so important at work today, well, not really important , but we did get 5 credit cards. The idea that Mr Perfect is the next email or swipe to the right ( or left? up? push 1 for male? I have no idea) doesn't work because there is no perfection partner that cures all. Bummer, sad, depressing.
There is however , a unique, strange, mildly occasionally annoying partner who will fulfill nearly every idea you never actually had. Bit of candor, I spent years fighting the idea that I had to be flawless in order to attract and lock down another flawless. You spend millions on the jeans and shoes , so that the 90 pound waffle fry in the corner will wink at you. At some point, I started buying the shoes for myself, not because I was trying to impress , but because I loved them, and lets be real, I needed them , still need them ( please send any un-worn size 12 oxfords promptly) .
The world is full of men in uniform , who do a lot of fighting and protecting, its just won't be you that needs the saving.
Side Note: He is uniform might be some kind of Star Trek Halloween costume that you dream of burning , but I digress.
