I have been always crazy about true love and a strong connection between a man and woman of diverse races or cultures. My main reason is that I want to experience that for myself since childhood. I can see myself going back to Colombia (where I have begun dating ladies ever in my life) and finding my future wife. An American man like myself honestly senses more appreciation, respect, honesty, etc. from foreign females than I do from local American/Western ones.

Recently, I have seen a movie (“The Violent Heart”) on Tubi app (that offers free movies and television (TV) shows). I just enjoy the emotional scenes between Daniel (Jovan Adepo) and his attractive 18 year old white girlfriend (Cassie (Grace Van Patten)). In some way, I can relate to him because I have also been feeling lonely, rejected, overlooked, and/or racially discriminated for most of our lives. However, I am a little jealous of him because he has gained a stunning, positive, and mature Caucasian lady who has shown platonic, romantic, etc. interest in him. His criminal record, dead end mechanic job, and lack of social skills have not mattered to her whatsoever. It is quite rare for a man (especially if he is dark-skinned) to have that positive experience in United States. But, based on my personal experiences in Colombia, Dominican Republic, and Ukraine, he can actually succeed, feel more alive, and gain more attention from the opposite sex overseas.

Although I am happy that adequate movies and TV shows regarding Interracial or international couples exist, I still want to view extra. In fact, I wish to see more creativity and feel more emotions from these potential movies and TV shows. A new TV show (“Match Me Abroad”) that I favor is a great start. So, based on that and “The Violent Heart” movie, I desire to explain to you (American or Westernized man) 5 issues that numerous writers and producers should cover and solve in hopes of improving or creating more amazing interracial/international movies and TV shows:

Problem #1 – Fear or lack of interest in being with someone of a different race/culture

One great thing about childhood is joy. Children can relax, be themselves, and have fun with toys, video games, etc. The issue is that some have to deal with bullies, child predators, and/or other creeps who can harm or destroy their well-beings and lives permanently. Another advantage about being a child is color-blindness. Unlike many adults and some minors, most children ignore or have no capability to generalize or discriminate themselves from other human beings of different races/cultures. If the children truly like and crave to bond with those who look, think, or behave differently, they are going to make their own wishes a possibility. But, as they become older, they are going to face (more) challenges and potential hate/racism from society and even their own family and friends. Chuck Hadad of CNN has verified this unfortunate fact on his 2012 article regarding interracial teen dating. Both then seventh grade students (Luke (white) and Jimmy (black)) who are now in their 20’s, have begun facing doubt and discouragement after dating outside their races/cultures. They thus understand that they have to choose between their true happiness and that of their relatives, peers, and others around them locally. Like Luke and Jimmy, you and I have to make tough decisions in life too. Dating someone from a various race or country is no different from building a dream business or just doing something else that others refuse to do. According to famed American televangelist Joel Osteen, we are going to face oppositions, delays, confusion, and other difficulties that would try to:

• keep us stuck somewhere we are and wish to leave
• make us continue doing something (e.g. a crummy job) we dislike

Despite of that, it is worth facing and overcoming all of those problems in order to reach our destinies. Thanks to successful and happily married interracial/international couples, others (including writers and producers) who are still afraid or uninterested in entering interracial/international connections can change their negative feelings and seek professional/spiritual help in building positive and healthy relationships with others regardless of race, culture, etc.

Problem #2 – Shortage of money

No one likes to lose money. He or she believes that it would guide him or her to homelessness, rejection by many others, loss of what he/she already has, etc. Nevertheless, regardless of the financial issue, he/she must retain a positive mentality as its solution. Author Shasta Matova discusses that receiving financial support from the government, family and friends, etc. is a great benefit of being broke. The less money that he/she has may cause him or her to gain more sympathy from other people. This advantage can assist an interracial or international couple:

• plan and have their amazing wedding
• start their new lives together at a nice, safe, and comfortable home
• obtain employment with stable income

Moreover, Matova explains how creative an individual can become if he/she stops depending on money or penniless valuables. For example, if an interracial or international couple chooses to wed each other with family and friends as witnesses, move together in a new home, and go on a honeymoon vacation, he and she should come up with a solid and clear vision statement that describes both of their short-term and long-term goals. Planning, organizing, and thinking outside the box can indeed help them avoid much frustration, discouragement, etc. As long as they remain committed to their vision statement, they can sooner or later get the amount of money for achieving all of their goals. Similar to them, you (or I) have no excuses to give up on your dreams and stay in mediocrity or misery. Your mistakes, delays, and/or other unexpected problems cannot stop you from moving forward to your fate. God continues to direct and provide you with everything that you need. What you, I, or any couple receives from Him is priceless.

Problem #3 – Fear of getting unwanted or negative attention in public

Even though this world has varied cultures, humans, animals, lands, and so forth, there is so much segregation and ignorance everywhere we go. A dark-skinned person is more likely discriminated than someone with a lighter skin complexion is. If that same dark-skinned individual enters an interracial or international relationship, he/she may still be rejected by society and even family members and friends. On the other hand, he/she may get some positive attention and respect especially if he/she is holding hands, talking, laughing, and/or showing deep affection to his/her partner of different race/culture. Their possible mixed-race child or children might eventually become fully accepted by both white and black people or be categorized as “white” or “black” (based on their appearances and attitudes) no matter where (e.g. their schools, jobs, or even neighborhood they live) they are. A decent movie that relates to these societal issues but absolutely has nothing to do with mixed racing is “Skin” which has come out in 2009. You can watch this free of charge on Tubi app or website so that you can learn the experiences that a mixed-race person or someone with a racial identity crisis faces regularly.

An interracial/international couple knows that they cannot avoid or escape from a hostile and small-minded society. If they pick to dwell on the negativity from multiple strangers (who strongly believe that everyone must stick with those of the same race only), then their relationship may not survive. If the couple however wants to keep and strengthen their unique connection, they must continue to show love, respect, and kindness to each other plus others around them. Their positive qualities, which come from God, can drive out anyone (e.g. racists) or anything (e.g. hate or ignorance) that tries to destroy their union. Also, through the Lord God, they can turn fear into confidence. Candidly, they are great examples and encouragement to those who feel:

• constantly rejected by society, their family members, their friends, etc.
• curious or excited to be with someone of a different race/culture
• pressured or forced to enter same race relationships

If you are persistent in seeking a serious connection with a woman from another race/culture, you are going to win her heart. Learn and repeat 1 Samuel 16:7 every time you both go in public. What matters is how God perceives you and her together.

Problem #4 – Fear of being judged or rejected by loved ones

It is typical to be afraid of the unknown, unexpected events or consequences, or uncontrollable things. But, someone may feel the total opposite when it comes to things or people whom he or she loves and knows well. As a result, he/she expects or hopes that they would understand his/her perspective and respect his/her decisions and feelings. What is his/her response and second plan if they disagree or dislike his/her relationship with someone of a different race/culture? J. Budziszewski of “Boundless” website believes that he/she should always be moral and honest with others. He/she however should listen to his/her heart and continue being in the interracial or international connection as long as his/her partner is also sincere, righteous, etc. If they decide to break up and end their bond due to hostility, dislike, or anger from loved ones, then they may face much misery and regret. The couple has frankly let Satan and his fallen angels win this battle. So, like the couple, you should follow your heart (where God speaks to you) and make a tough decision that can improve your life, personality, health, etc. Pleasing other people including your relatives and friends is going to lead you to mediocrity, loneliness, unhappiness with the wrong woman, and/or separation from the great things that God has stored for you. I say this fact due to my negative consequences too.

Problem #5 – Facing ongoing pressure by everyone

Living in this complex world can be very difficult especially if you are forced or even encouraged to do something against your will or outside your comfort zone. Also, the life of someone can be unfair because of who he/she is or the color of his/her skin. He/she is unable to escape from his/her true emotions, feelings, beliefs, experiences, the way others see or treat him/her, and so forth. For that reason, he/she needs to accept himself or herself as he/she is. If he/she finds great personality traits from someone of a diverse race/culture, then he/she should take their relationship to a higher level. Many interracial/international couples are fully aware of the challenges or obstacles that they would face together, separately, or both. The good news, according to a “StyleCraze” article by a certified relationship coach, is that they can bring forth the positive side of these issues. One way is approving differences from each other. Each international or interracial couple needs to pay extra attention to each other or someone else in order to gain more sympathy, love, respect, trust, etc. Selfishness or caring more about his/her own feelings or needs can eventually cause him/her to lose his/her relationship and be single or alone again. Secondly, every couple must have patience with each other in order to be on the same page. Sharing similar interests, feelings, and/or needs with each other is probably the best gift they can receive. Like them, you do not have to worry about feeling alone or believing that no one understands you anymore. God has made someone for everyone whether it is for personal, professional, spiritual, etc. reasons. Therefore, if you are usually surrounded by relatives, friends, coworkers, and other locals who ignore or make you feel isolated, you can always turn to God for accompanying you. Then, ask and wait for Him to send you certain individual(s) who can fulfill or exceed your expectations. After all, He has done the same acts for me regarding my current business partner, former translator, and friend (Elizabeth) of 5 years. I am just waiting for the next person to enter my life – the woman of my dreams in hopefully Colombia.

Conclusion

Ever since the Biblical times, interracial or international dating has occurred often. Numerous human beings have witnessed or known about it. However, a small number of them willingly engages in relationships that are deemed illegal, forbidden, or even unforgivable by society. People who are involved in happy and solid interracial/international relationships indeed:

• exemplify King Solomon (who is Israeli, white, and/or Middle Eastern) and Queen Sheba (who is Ethiopian and black)
• please the Lord God who has created various individuals in His image (Acts 17:24 – 29) and focuses more on their hearts/character (1 Samuel 16:7)

I think that interracial dating/marriage would forever be problematic in United States and the Western world certainly. Sadly, countless people reject, lack interest, or have a fear of getting involved with someone of a different race/culture. It does not matter if the interracial relationships are romantic, sexual, professional, and/or even platonic. Racial segregation is the requirement and norm of American/Western society and culture unfortunately. You and I thus have to continue dealing with this tragedy as long as we live there and as long as this world exists.

Unlike interracial dating/marriage, international dating/marriage may be accepted more by many people who doubt or consider it weird. Of course, an international couple may gain negative attention initially when one of them legally arrives to United States or a Western nation during the 90-day fiance visa period. Nevertheless, once loved ones, friends, neighbors, and other locals view and realize how different that foreign fiance is from everyone else, they may like and respect his/her relationship with his/her American or Western partner anyway. Thanks to the popularity of “90 Day Fiance” series (including spinoffs), international dating or marriage is seen as normal and inspirational to millions of singles worldwide.

I hope that I have done my best in encouraging you to pursue a marital relationship with a woman outside your race/culture. If not, then please keep a positive mindset toward interracial/international dating or marriage. Watch movies and TV shows about both topics as helpful advice.

Communicate with interracial/international couple(s) so that you can fully understand their perspectives.

Maybe inspire them to develop their own documentaries, movies, or TV series.

Stop racism, mediocrity, or peer/societal pressure from spreading to innocent humans who just want to follow their own hearts and be with those who are actually right for them.

Consequentially, God can exceed your expectations by bringing all of your dreams (including that special lady) into reality.

Let interracial and international love lead the way.

On my next blog post, we should meet again.