“So Aashna, tell us how was your first Tinder date?”, Jannat asked.

“It was not just my first Tinder date, it was the first time in twenty-three years that I was going out with a guy. So, I had a lot of expectations!”, Aashna said.

“Let’s start with basic details,

Name- Pranav Sharma

Age- Twenty-six

Occupation- Marketing Manager at Aaj Takk

The reason I swiped right- Most guys on Tinder are not average, and he was average!

“Excuse me? I am on Tinder, and I am above average.”, Kabir said. He was offended.

“Kabir, she said ‘most guys’. So, chill!”, Geetanjali said.

Aashna sipped some beer, and continued, “He wasn’t that bad, once we started talking. In fact, he was rather interactive! All thanks to a couple of telephonic conversations, I knew we’d be absolutely comfortable, whenever we decide to meet in person. He wanted to go out with me, on his birthday. Smart fellow, even if I wanted to say no, I wouldn’t possibly have! 

I put in a little bit of extra effort while dressing up, since I was meeting my date on his birthday and it was my first date, to banta tha!''

“Where did you guys meet?”, asked Viren.

“At one of my favorite restaurants. The All-American Diner!”, Aashna answered.

“So, the moment he picked me up from the metro station, a series of turn-offs started.”

“A series of turn offs? Are you trying to say, you were turned on before you saw him?”, Kabir questioned.

“Uff!”, replied a rather annoyed Aashna.

“Turn off as in, disappointment. And now, don’t interrupt, flow khraab ho jata hai!”

Turn off one- Pranav looked nothing like his virtual self. He was almost bald, and the fat around his belly reminded me of Aamir Khan from Dangal! I almost thought I was out with an uncle, and not a twenty-six years old! Also, surprisingly, his ‘about me’ reads, fitness enthusiast!

Turn off two- I ordered a Kit-Kat shake, and since I was really hungry, I finished it fast. But he had a problem with that, he was like ‘itni jaldi pee bhi lia?’ I did not know what to say, so I gave him one of those ‘f-off’ smiles!”

“Anything chocolate should be finished within seconds!”, Jannat said.

“I know! He was weird.

Turn off three- He hardly spoke. I was asking most of the questions and trying to get all chatty.

First, you fake an online image, and then you open your mouth to judge! Why do you exist?

Turn off four- I told him I hate, hate people who smoke but he wanted to disappoint his date on his twenty-sixth birthday! He smoked, thrice! Couldn’t Mr. Chimney wait for the date to get over? At least I couldn't wait for the date to get over!''

“These things speak a lot about a person’s character, he lacked patience.”, Geetanjali said. “Also first dates are really important, you need to be yourself, but keeping in mind the likes and dislikes of the other person,” Jannat added. 

“What can we do now? Nothing!”, Aashna said furiously.

“Turn off five- He showed me photos from his MBA days. I should have been happy, that he is showing interest but he wasn’t bald in those photos, and neither was he fat. He credited his baldness to the saline water of Dubai, that did not suit him and blamed his fat on his age. Also, those pictures were three years old, and he had uploaded them on Tinder!

''Why do people fake an online image? Why can't they be proud of themselves?'', Jannat said.

''Go ask him! Anyway, the bill arrived, and I did not offer to split!”

“That is so cheap. Should I lecture you about feminism now?”, Kabir said.

“I did not split because it was his birthday, and I did not invite myself!

Also, as a dutiful guest at a birthday party, I gave him a gift. He told me, he wanted to read a biography of Elon Musk. I could have given him the copy that Geetanjali gave me, but I purchased a new one. Let’s forget, not the two bookmarks!”

“Whatever!”, Kabir replied. “So, did you guys kiss?”

“Haha, Haha. Why would I kiss someone, who uploaded his old photos, kept quiet during the date and judged me for finishing my shake fast?”, Aashna chugged her beer.

“Gift bhi le lia, and cake bhi nhi khilaya!”

“Did you talk again?”, Jannat asked.

“He messaged, I did not reply.”

“So, that was Aashna’s first online dating experience!”, Viren said. “No, wait it was more like an online dating mistake!”

“Whatever. Let’s not talk about it.”, Aashna said. 

''So, let's spin the bottle!” , Kabir said. 

the bottle spun again and it was Geetanjali's turn to narrate her story!