I have always been Critical of myself, especially my parenting skills.
If I had to guess, it comes down to two reasons.
First, I didn’t have a very good role model for what a parent should be like. After my parents divorced when I was 4, my life became about the hatred that both of my parents had for each other. That divorce is likely where things took a turn.
Second, my mom is super critical. No matter what you say to her, she will always follow it up with ” Yes, but…..”
Today, my best friend shared a video that really hit home for me. It was all about how critical we are on ourselves and how we would never say what we say to ourselves to our friends, family, or anyone.
I really beat myself up about my mothering skills. It all lumps in with my unstable sense of identity. Along with my moms Critical Voice in my head, I also have my own voice saying things like ” You aren’t good enough to be a mom”.
But this video really hit home because one of the things that my daughter is wanting to be when she grows up is a mom. So would I say the kind of stuff I say to myself about my parenting to her, if she came to me feeling the same way? No of course not, so why should I even think of saying these things to myself.
No one deserves to be that critical on themselves. I am learning to accept who I am, and work on becoming a healthier person.