I see how desperately you want to sleep at such an odd hour.

 
It’s 7pm and you are lying to everyone that you have had dinner.
There are guests about to come and you are silently praying that they don’t ask about you.
A part of your brain is calling you coward, and ugly, and worthless,
and another is trying to silence it, to not make you believe all those lies.

 
I see how you are always hiding, always saving your soul from others.

 
it’s 3am and you can’t stop thinking about the time your mother said you aren’t pretty enough.
your eyes are heavy and so is your heart.
I see how you are still searching for the quotes which exactly describes how you feel.
I see how you write a text and then delete it all because you don’t wanna bother anyone.

I see how you change the topic when everyone talks about their pain.

It’s 7 am and there are pages all over the floor,
poetry all over your heart,
and him all over your mind.

I see it, I see it all.