I miss being on the right side
Of good times
I hate that 27
Doesn’t sound old anymore
I remember those conversations
In my 5th period English class senior year
About how anyplace
Is better than this one
How we would talk and promise
To be the friends that ACTUALLY “Keep in touch”
Which is a fancy way of saying
I’ll like your posts on social media every couple months
And getting really good at wishing you happy birthday
In the Belated kind of way
I know they were just football games and classroom antics
Typical high school semantics and such
Heartbreak Filled of fake love
That we had every reason to believe it was real
But, damn what happened to those days
I hate that I’m here and you’re not
None of this ended up like we thought
I remember the best friends on speed dial
How eating Mcdonald’s at 1am in some parking lot
Talkin about nothing was something to do
Now we grow up and need excuses to leave our room
Always got yelled at for making home my revolving door
Constantly In and out! My mom would always shout
I just miss it.
All of those authentic hearts
Beating in the same place
Those were the best moments
I just wish I had realized that when we still felt infinite
We didn’t waste our time growing up
We didn’t do insignificant things
We tried our best in so many different ways
Not like today, where everyone thinks the same
Seriously, All those “crazy” kids that were labeled
“Going Nowhere” had more charisma than any adult
I’ve met in the last 5 years
In world filled of auto tuned droids
Telling you what your resume should look like
What they don’t tell you about is the void that follows
The enormous void of happiness in your chest
I don’t care how nice the paycheck is
Have fun with that
I know being broke is scary
I know being alone is fucking terrifying
I know going off the beaten path is never recommended
And certainly not for the faint of heart
It’s just more important than ever to feel fear
I’m tired of listening to the same sentences
The same advice. The same everything.
I want to feel every emotion under the stars
Especially the ones that hurt the most
You have to know what pains you in the worst way
To know it on a personal level
Like, all downhill from here
Becomes a place you can picture in your head
That way you can know when life is giving you something worth feeling
I want my early and mid 20’s to not be lost
But, to be everything I haven’t been yet
A time of my life where I can look back at and say
I lived it fruitfully and know I realized the good times when they still actually existed.