Webqoof: “webqoof is one who believes every word or information on the internet and Social Media is true”

Yes, I too am getting a minimum of 10 Forwards a day, on WhatsApp or other messaging apps. Some of them tell me about self CPCR(Cardio Pulmonary Cerebral Resuscitation) if I get a cardiac arrest when alone, some talks about the HIV patient who dropped few drops of blood into the soft drink, some about a new monster which was spotted in a nearby forest or lake. It is an endless list, that began with God and Satan many years back in the era of snail mail.

In those olden times, it was postcards or notices with a Message from the almighty. The God even used to keep a register at those times to write down, how many people took 20 copies of his message and redistributed it, and how many people ignored his message. He used to deposit money in accounts of people who shared the message and he used to get contract killers for those who ignored to forward the message.

Then the mails became emails, and the forwards became easier, just a click away. Gods continued their business. But, there was stiff competition from philanthropy messages. It states that if you forward this mail to 100 people the child in the photo will be given 10 Rupees by Yahoo and that will be added to 10lakh that is needed to perform a surgery on the child. The internet philanthropists contributed forwards and soon the child became a millionaire and with the left over money after surgery, she bought a private island in Caribbeans and also invested in shares of Apple and Microsoft.

And then came the era of short messages and various internet messengers cum chat applications. More children needed surgeries and each forward was paid again. The old world gods also came back with their photographs to be forwarded, or the photo of a cloud with their resemblance to be forwarded. Now they discarded the registers because google analytics was sufficient for them to track the number of forwards and they continued with blessings based on forwards.

But it was soon realised that the market value for gods and child needing surgery is coming down. Thus emerged health advisories and technical advisories through forwards. Most of them were in clear details of what is the issue and what can be the solution. Suddenly all of us become healthier and wealthier. Even newspapers publish them after the editor gets a forward through WhatsApp.

I also learned to do CPCR on myself if I am unconscious due to heart attack when alone, I learned to enter my ATM pin reverse if attacked in ATM, I stopped drinking Frooti because every week the same HIV patient in Frooti factory in Gurugram, mixes his blood to Frooti, so on and on and on. Always, these pieces of advice were from experts in the field. Commissioner of Delhi Police, Chief Medical Officer of Mayo Clinic USA, senior cardiologist of Appolo Hospital Chennai, a senior oncologist of AIMS etc. So I had no choice other than to follow all these. I had to stop eating eggs and cabbages because they are made with plastic and sold by Chinese in India. 

Thus, I became a webqoof among crores and crores of webqoofs.

PS: If you forward this article to 25 persons, you will be blessed with a weekend after every five days. If you forward this to 100 people, you will get 4 weekends per month and If you ignore this, your WhatsApp will be blocked, Facebook will be hacked and SIM card will be deactivated. 

PS to PS:
Before every forward read and think, whether it is logical. If it seems logical, ask a friend who learned that subject. If your friend confirms it, just do a google search (There are sites like hoax slayer who reports hoax forwards). If you don’t want to take all these pains, don’t forward it. Important messages are announced by official bodies through a newspaper, not through WhatsApp or Facebook.