Slay Queens

I’m pretty sure you know the kind of girls I’m talking about. The ones that fake being perfect. The “slay queens” that usually take five hours to get ready and spend ridiculous amounts of time looking at the mirror, and/or are always applying makeup (usually as thick as Domino Pizza’s crust) at any chance they get no matter the time of day. Trust me, you wouldn’t want to be with a girl that wears heavy layers of makeup just because she wants to “slay” in the foolish unspoken competition between ladies. She isn’t doing the makeup for you, so if her beauty doesn’t come from inside, then RUN.

Flirt Vodka Ambassadors

“Brothers!!!” 'in Spartacus’s voice'… If you don’t want your world to turn into jealousy, paranoia, and high blood pressure, then I strongly suggest you steer clear off girls who flirt uncontrollably and unnecessarily. Sure, she may have won you over with her seductive glances and words, but what now happens when you realize that she flirts with everyone for every and no reason? The bartender, the Konga delivery man, her colleagues at work, her boss. Healthy doses of healthy flirting are awesome, toxic doses of toxic flirting will poison you… Lai se Bilquis abi Black Widow.

She’s Sexy And She Knows It

A self-confident woman is really an awesome person to have in your life. But that’s not who I am talking about here. This kind of woman actually has the lowest self-esteem and insecurities ever, so she uses her body as a way to get attention from men. “Let’s show them some skin”, “Let’s wear dresses that hug our bodies tighter than a wrapper tied around the waist of a mother who is gearing up to fight”, or “let’s show some eye-popping cleavage, or wear bumbum pads to accentuate what isn’t there.”

While her seduction might draw you like a magnet, you’ll quickly realize that it’s drawing everyone else, too. And then you wouldn’t feel like she – in her entirety – is exclusively yours like you are exclusively hers. So find a woman that shows she’s “all yours” by respecting her body and reserving it for the proper time.



Ms. Flashy Eyes/Gold-Digger

Now I ain’t saying she a gold-digger, but she sure as hell shines eye when she sees flashy displays of wealth. She loves your car, your apartment, accessories, and all. But does she really love you? She’s the kind that will take all she can get from you, and give very little back in return (which is almost always just sex cos she has nothing else to offer). Call Apostle to flog her out of your house, fam.’

OverCriticallity’

This is probably one of the worst because at the end of the relationship (Yes, 12 out of 10 times, such relationships end,) you are left with absolutely nothing mentally.

The book of Proverbs says that women like these are like the sound of a leak dripping: constant, annoying, and problematic!! She will slowly and surely drain you with all her criticisms. “You can’t even give me money to make my hair”, “What kind of man are you, see Fatima’s guy just bought her a Range Rover and you are buying me an Audi?” and other criticisms like that. She will leave you questioning your value, your significance, and your worth. You’ll never feel appreciated under the constant cloud of criticism.

The Emasculating Machine/Boss-Lady

If you surely want to feel emasculated, then this is the best kind of lady to date; If you don’t wanna, then RUN because she will control your life. She’ll tell you how to spend your money, iron your clothes, sit down when watching football. She’ll tell you when to go out, give you a curfew, and even change your personality to suit her tastes. Bruh, if that’s what she wants then let her buy a robot instead.

Always Mentally PMS’ing

This kind of woman will be doing hot and cold like Naira/Dollar exchange rate. One moment she wants you, the next moment she doesn’t know what she wants. Shortly after that, she wants you bad, and then later she’s confused. Guys, trust that the internal struggle is not going to be resolved anytime soon, so do yourself a favor and find someone who’s just as into you as you are into them.

Got Role Models But Goals

This kind of woman has great female role models like Chimamanda Adichie, the late Dora Akunyili, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Beyonce, Rihanna, Oprah Winfrey, etc. But she still asks you for money to make her hair. She doesn’t work, doesn’t do shit except lazy about and probably do the remaining nine things on this list. What’s the point of having a role model when you don’t plan to emulate – in some way – their life achievements? This kind of woman clearly has no goals in her life, and if her role models could hear how she acts claiming they are her role models, they’ll probably jump off a cliff. So you sef metaphorically jump off the cliff to escape such intellectually shameful ladies.

Miss Independent…ly Spending Your Money

This kind of woman will prefer to chill, kick back, and let you do all the work. You will take care of your own children, her family members, and even distant cousins she has never ever seen before, all because “You are the man (leader) and she’s a woman (follower), that’s how it’s meant to be.”  You need a woman who will pour into you, as much as you pour into her. Who will sharpen you, as you sharpen her, and who will challenge you to become better, while you do the same for her.

Drama Queen

She has more drama going on in her life than a regular episode of Tinsel, Grey’s Anatomy, How To Get Away With Murder, and Lekki Housewives. She always has something going on with her BFF, sister, family members, boss, etc. And the worst part is, she believes it is everyone’s fault. This woman is to be avoided because she doesn’t understand the meaning of taking ownership and responsibility of her life and relationships. And there’s not a shred of doubt that she will be telling her own BFFs all about how every drama in your relationship is your fault.


Now you know the kind of women to run away from. You’re welcome!