I knew this would happen. When I get back from Larissa Snowe's in the morning I get this eerie glimpse of the future. Not my future, but the future. Johnny and my sister are sitting together on the couch. On my couch. Sara is in his dressing gown and he in shorts and a T-shirt. It's like some huge public display.

"Hey," Johnny says as I walk in.

My sister looks up at me and smiles in an amused fashion. My sister is constantly amused and really I don't think I have met anyone else in the world who is quite as amused as she is.

"Hey," I say.
"You've just missed the phone."
"Really who was it?"
"Alison, she's coming round."
"That's weird, it's Saturday morning."
"What people don't visit you on Saturday mornings?" Sara says.
"Errr, no."
"Talking of Saturday mornings bit early for you, isn't? What with it being Saturday and you just coming in as you are?"
"Johnny, we agreed no details about my private life when my sister is around? Remember?"
"Gordon, it's okay," my sister starts, "I know you have no luck with women."
"You've been giving her the low down haven't you?"
Johnny laughs, "So what's the mystery. You didn't score did you?"
"No, I was..."

And I pause as I'm thinking how weird is this? I have been out for the night and slept with, but you know, not actually with, an ex girlfriend.

"So? You're making it sound interesting, come on?"
"I swear it's not interesting. Larissa Snowe and I drank cocktails and..."
"Yeah, and you could hardly walk so you slept on her couch, right?"
"OMG."
"What is it about you two and drinking?"
"I don't know, we just have a lot of fun with alcohol."
"We like it although I worry that we get a bit silly."
"I think silly is rather good," Sara says.

My sister must be mellowing or being secretly arch as that is unlike her. She's a management consultant and she has an MBA and I'm sure silly is just not an MBA-approved word. Amused, but not silly.

"Yeah well it gets my vote."
"Just how silly did you get?" Johnny asks.
"Oh cocktails and red wine, kind of fell asleep on the floor silly."
"Well as long as that's all you got up to."
"Sara's right I have absolutely no luck. I like to stick to dating women I have already been out with and who have no plans to go out with me ever again."
"That, might not be dating in the strictest sense, then," Sara says.
"True, I seem to be entering a new category of platonic dating. Anyway, what did Alison say?"
"Didn't say, maybe more commiserations on the Susan front."
"Commiserations on the Susan front? On a Saturday morning?"
"Yeah, weird, she'll be here any minute anyway."
"You know Alison used to help me with my advanced maths?" Sara says thinking out loud.

I nod do time travel and cast back. Alison was really good at everything, not just maths. My thoughts snap back and I can't help myself feeling just a little bit uneasy.

I start to make a pot of coffee, but don't get to finish before the buzzer goes and Johnny calls out.

"Gord mate?"
"What?"
"We're not dressed. You'll have to go."
"We're not dressed? Maybe you could dress individually."

Downstairs I find Alison standing on the doorsteps, with red cheeks and wearing a long dark coat and big white scarf.

"Surprise," she says.
"I'll say, we were just remarking that really people don't visit much on Saturdays."
"I know, and I thought I would come over. We haven't spoken since I suggested you go speed dating, and I hear that didn't turn out so well?"
"You could say that, come on in."

We head back up stairs and Alison takes a seat, while I finish with the coffee in the kitchen and bring out the cafeteria and four cups.

"Johnny's been telling me, you had a pushing contest?"
"Yeah, pretty grown up, I know. And please Alison I know you told me so many times, and you were right. Everyone was right, but hey what can I say?"
"So what are you going to do about it?"
"Do? Errr, well there's really not a lot to do about it. I mean I've tried pushing and to be honest that didn't work so well and I think Susan is really a little pissed off."
"She is, I think you may have completely missed the boat on that one," Alison says.
"Well I never did like the water much, maybe she'll dump him.
"Maybe," says Alison.
"Anyway, we're all intrigued about an early morning Saturday visit, nice as it is to see you."
"Ali, they're intrigued, I'm not," Sara says, "although it's always lovely to see you, where's Paul, haven't seen him for ages."

Alison doesn't immediately reply and she has one of those looks on her face that are shipped from the factory with instructions saying "use this when delivering bad weighty news".

"Well it's funny you should say that, he's left."

I hear Alison perfectly well when she says this, but I don't react as I am happily pouring coffee. Besides my brain tells me that Alison cannot possibly mean what she said literally as that would not make any sense what so ever. My brain has just edited the information and come up with the conclusion that what Alison is saying is that Paul is very left, which is true. He is still pretty leftwing, so in that context it all makes perfect sense as Paul wouldn't leave Alison as she is best - best job, best looking, best house, best husband, like I said best.

"When you say left Ali, you mean..." Sara says waving her arm in front of her obviously not quite getting it either.
"I mean as in gone."

Still there are no pennies dropping.

"What you mean gone away, work wise?" Johnny asks.

Alison smiles as if she finds us all vaguely comical and really I can see why she might.

"No, I mean gone as in walked out of the door and is not coming back."

Silence. The audience is stunned and really doesn't know where to look or what to say.

"Surely, it's just a falling out. He'll be back. I mean you're married Alison..." I say.

For some reason, this makes Alison laugh, which seems entirely the incorrect response.

"No not just a falling out. A falling apart, I'm afraid. It's one that's been a long time in the making."

"He was always very keen," Sara says.
"You're right, always keen. What is it with all that keenness?"
"Oh, I'm sure I don't know. I think it's something in their genes."
"I shouldn't have married Paul, and now this has all happened at the worst possible time, things are considerably bigger now."
"Bigger?" Sara says.
Alison nods, oh yes, she's saying.
"How much bigger are we talking about exactly?"

At this point Alison draws her arms about her.

"Oh, I think a little over four months is how much bigger we are talking about."

Sara gets up from the couch and she goes over to Alison who stands and the two women hug each other as Johnny and I look on.

"Oh dear," Sara says, "you're pregnant."
"It's actually worse than that," Alison says.
"OMG, you don't mean..."
"Afraid so, it isn't Paul's."

Blimey, now no one knows what to say, we're all stunned and I have that feeling that everyone wants to leave the room, but there really isn't anywhere to go. The silence lingers and people seem to be taking their time to drink their coffee and generally rearrange themselves.

"Come on," says Alison, "I want to go for a walk."
"She's talking to you idiot," Sara says.
"Yeah, I got that thanks dork."
"Oh play nicely you two will you? I'm having something of a rough husbandless weekend."

This silences Sara and I and brings an end to our brief outbreak of squabbling. Sara leans into Johnny, putting her head on his shoulder, with a dreamy smile on her face.

"Okay, mum," Sara says and everybody laughs.
"Oh stop that, I'm going to start feeling 12 years old again about any second now. Come on, let's go," she says.