Ditto.

Dear Chichi,

I am not going to start with pleasantries or recount one of your sweetest childhood memories to make you giggle; I’m pretty sure that’d worsen my ‘boring rating’ in your book. For all I know, you may even tear up this Letter without opening the envelope… I’ve had to shout at you once too many times in recent days, and you’ve even had to serve me a retort, a soliloquy or plain mean/disdainful look a few times. We’ve both been hurt. I know, right now, I am not half of quarter-of-a-friend; not nearly a friend as your smartphone (which I bought). So, before I overstress the ish, let this first paragraph suffice for an intro.