There are many tough things in life that we all have to face and breaking up with someone we were deeply in love with comes high on that list. If the Breakup was a bad one then people can feel totally destroyed and it can take them a long time to recover from it especially if they were in a long term Relationship.

During the time just after a breakup we feel helpless and hurt, but the one thing to keep in mind is this feeling does not last. When we want to get over a breakup that was particularly messy the best place to start is with you.

It’s obvious that you are hurting and are feeling angry and upset about the way the relationship ended. This is not uncommon and many people tend to use this time to try and contact their ex for an explanation. It is hard to fight feelings of loneliness and blame, but just after a breakup it is always good to let things settle down before you seek out the answers. Both of you have a lot to think about and consider so use this time to reflect on things and get things straight in your own head.

One thing you must try to avoid is any type of contact with your ex. Right now you are feeling emotional and if you contact your ex during this time you are bound to make things worse. Doing this will only make you look needy and will result with your ex feeling as though you are desperate which may push them even further away from you. When you find yourself up at 2 o’clock in the morning thinking about your ex, put that phone away and shut your computer down. Try to relax instead of making the situation even more complicated.

You may think that this is a little drastic and over the top, but studies have proven that by avoiding contact with your ex for a period of up to 4 weeks will help you to see improvements in your own emotional well being. This leads you to look at the situation in a positive light, helping you make the right decisions about the future. If you are struggling with this then it may be an idea to actually delete your ex’s contact information from your phone and PC. This way you have no temptation to contact them.

There is also another big distraction that can stop you from getting over your ex very effectively, and that is Social Media. Everyone is on some form of social media nowadays and that includes you and your ex-partner. Whether they have a Twitter account, a Facebook profile or any other page that they use to socially engage, you must also avoid these. Although social media sites are a brilliant way to catch up with friends and see what they are up to on a regular basis, it’s not entertaining to see an ex post about their life after your breakup. So the best way to go about this is to hide their posts from your live feed. That way you can still use these web pages to interact with close friends while avoiding anything that can upset you and set you back from getting over your ex.

When you were in a relationship with your ex you most likely made some connections with their friends. These people are probably better off left alone for the time being. As bad as it sounds, they are only going to remind you constantly of your ex-partner. You will get over this breakup much faster if you avoided these people so that you don’t hear the latest updates of your ex’s life.
During all of this your social life will take a battering as no one wants to socialize and hang out with people when they are feeling low. In fact, when you do put yourself in the company of others you will start to feel a lot better, a lot faster. This may be the perfect time for you to get out there and meet new people that have similar interests to you. As you take part in new things with new people you will start to feel happier and begin to think positively about life again.

While in your relationship there were probably times when you noticed that some other person was attracted to you. You couldn’t reciprocate them feelings as you were loyal to your partner and the relationship at the time. Now that you are free and single it is time to take up some of these offers and start dating. Right now it might seem totally impossible, but just by going out for a casual dinner with someone that is attracted to you will help your self-esteem, and help you to move on and forget the breakup even happened.

When beginning to date again why not try going on nights out as partying is a great way to feel happy and forget all your troubles. So grab some of your closest mates and get out there and dance! It’s okay to have a drink or two and let your hair down because right now you deserve to feel happy, have fun and let it all go. However, you must keep in mind that you are still overcoming a big change in your life and as much as that person in the club wants you to go home with them, be sure that you go with them for the right reasons.

Even though it’s good to get out there and start dating and meeting new people, it is never a good thing to get into a relationship if you are not sure why you want it. Could you be in this new relationship just to get over your ex? Are you in this relationship for your own gain? Rebound relationships are not the way to get over an ex and it is unfair on the both of you to go through this knowing that it won’t last. If this is what you want right now though, be sure to tell this person how you are feeling. They might be okay with it being just a fling and nothing serious, but it is always best to let them know so you don’t hurt them like you were hurt.

For more tips and tricks to help with getting over your breakup, and even help with getting them back in your life again, sign up to our Free Video Course anywhere on this site.