Hist! . . . . . . Hark!
The night is very dark,
And we've to go a mile or so
Across the Possum Park.

- C.J Dennis, Hist! 

The Conjuring is by no means a bad film, let me say that straight off the bat. I enjoyed watching it, most of the characters were pretty interesting, and the choice to characterise real-life clairvoyant Lorraine Warren with potentially/sort of/kinda hinted at paranormal abilities was something that added some depth to an otherwise fairly one-dimensional, however, fun horror flick. The Movie was a welcome departure from the painfully self-aware slump that horror was going through over the past decade or two, with all proceeds of that charity fun drive going to the Scream Franchise. Thank you, Hollywood, we all know that you know that we know that you know that we know that you know that we know we are watching a horror movie. Not every film has to start out with a witty, change-the-channel comment on the state of the genre in lieu of effective character establishment and background story information. Irony noted. 

Horror movies seem odd to me, but I can never completely understand why. I can't exactly recall a time when I was truly scared by one, other than that jumpy kind of scare when the editor just simply combines a loud noise, sudden movement, and one single frame of Steve Buschemi's face for a cheap scream. Perhaps it is because I am painfully aware that I am watching a movie. When I am sitting in the cinema, I just can't connect with these characters on the screen. They consistently make horrible choices, and worst of all, they just don't think of staging a massive benefit concert whose proceeds go towards bees with disabilities, wait until the antagonist is distracted by the loud noise and cut short their script mandated, homicidal, glee spree by waiting 40 years for them to die of lung disease. hitting them with a car.

The Conjuring made a fair attempt to solve the latter of these problems, as the family sought out the demonologist Warren's in an attempt to have a little sit down and some tea with a really annoyed demon, perhaps call some lawyers if it was really necessary, you know, really try to nut out this whole spectral possession thing, because you want what is best for the kids, without getting the court involved. Finally, we are shown protagonists that actually aren't as stupid as a kid who brings Cheetos to a LAN party. Without wanting to spoil anything, the resulting scene's made for interesting fodder, as many of the scares were not based around a family in torment, but rather support characters taking on a more central role and becoming the main tormentees, a move which, I believe, is fresh and different in the genre, rather than the usual continuity of  a painful demise befalling the main character/s.

Paranormal and demonic movies are, at least for me, much more enjoyable than their murderer-in-a-mask counterparts. The latter don't seem as scary because at no point can a murderer not be stopped by a gang of kids stuck in the 70's fashion-wise and their anthropomorphic dog, or a swift hit to the testicles from a chainsaw. The basis for those films is almost always a leading woman (or very occasionally a leading man, if we are in Germaine Greer's re-imagining of The Strangers) running from an overpowering man or woman in a mask who are trying their hardest to run and survive, but they keep making terrible choices, and hiding next to the door to a rave, or stopping, mid-flight to finish up a bit of laundry because OxyCold with MicroLifting Technology can get rid of those stubborn, axe-inflicted, blood stains.

I believe that if I were to make a horror film, I would make one that isn't taking itself so seriously. Sure, this has been done heaps of times, like The Blair Witch Project, Scream, and even to some extent Paranormal Activity, but these movies were still blatantly horror movies, with witty quips or a self-rexflexive overtone to lighten the mood initially. No, I would go more of a Cabin In The Woods direction, and have a comedic film that has horror elements, because in a wide variety of situations, people use humour to cope with their anxieties and fears, and this is just not explored in horror movies enough. It detracts from the immersion that the characters we are seeing on screen react all in a uniform manner without any changing in emotion, but rather all following the same path into screaming, fearful insanity. Not only that but the lighter change of the mood would present itself as a distinct juxtaposition for the audience to base their level of fear off of. Viewers are fully aware that they are being scared, or that their vital signs are rising with the suspense, and to continually up the ante, movie makers have to pluck these emotional strings harder with each subsequent event in the movie. I believe that as a way to make an audience more scared, humour and comedy would be needed to introduce a completely distinct and opposite set of emotions into the mix, because the lighter mood would give more emotional height for a viewer to descend from into the depths of fear and anxiety, and, as they say, the bigger (or in this case, happier) they are, the harder they fall.

So all in all, I would tell you to go and see The Conjuring, enjoy it with some popcorn or maybe a bag of M&Ms, tell your friends about it and continue living your life. However, I can't tell you that, because I am a much more relaxed and open person, who would rather let you make your own decisions, based on fact and analysis than a direct order from a magical blog writer with mind control abilities.