The lordly King of Tut
Was disturbed by his growing gut
He fasted by both day and night
To try to put the matter right
But all the while, it just got bigger
Adding daily to his figure
He’d watched his girth grow wide and white
For ‘twas, a year since he’d had a shite
He would burp and he would fart,
But he could not get his arse to start
His knees would tremble and his eyes would pop
It would often move, but never drop
Soon it became the Nation’s issue
To discuss the monarch’s growing tissue
A magic laxative must be found
To loose our king, who’s truly bound
Now the Queen was ugly and seeing red
Well, there was no longer room in the Royal bed,
Oft she’d take his head upin her lap
And dream of ways to make him crap
She took to shagging with Dukes and Earls
Fucked all the Page boys and the girls
She unfrocked Bishops upon the throne
And she wouldn’t leave the Knights alone
Soon it were proclaimed throughout the land
That sex with Queen were fucking’ banned
The King was in a consternation
Made worse of course, by his constipation
Then it happened something started
Rumour was that the King had farted
Soft at first, it were just a flutter
A whining sound, then a cough and splutter
Then a blinding flash and a clap of thunder
Ripped the poor King’s arse asunder
At twenty thousand feet his bowel imploded
Then a mega fart exploded
His royal balls were blown to pieces
As the good king sank beneath his feases
And in that bright white blinding flash
His once proud kingdom was reduced to ash
The moral of this story is very clear
Especially to those that you hold dear
You may have breeding you may have class
But never become a right royal pain in the ass
