I Guess I should introduce myself here... Well, I'm Patman. No relation to Batman, Bartman or Fartman. I'm no superhero, although being a second language high school teacher in this wonderful day and age of information and overstimulation often requiers superhuman attributes like:
Patience. I'm not talking about the kind of Patience required to knit or watch paint dry. I mean Patience. To repeat 53 times the same simple command ("open your books at page 5") without ripping of a few ears, you need Patience. To tolerate 30 twits acting like overgrown babies for more than 15 minutes while trying to teach them anything at all, you need Patience. To watch a 12 year old pretend he's a hyperactive hummingbird singing (badly, and with a french accent) Nelly songs without bouncing his head off every wall in class, you need Patience
Imagination. 'Cause being an educator is not enough anymore, you need to be a clown/comedian/genius/cool kinda teacher to get them to do anything. It's one thing to "integrate" real life into the classroom, it's quite another to actually have them relate what they do in here to their lives. Apparently, Math, sciences and phys. ed. will serve absolutely no purpose in the future. Can't wait to be taken care of by those unfit, overweight slobs who can't Figure out how to plug in the "old" phone and call the "pill guy" to figure out how much money they need plus tax to get my medicine!!!
Insanity. Yeah I know. Having a crazy person in a high school doesn't sound right, but think about it. every other person in there already is!!!! It's survival really!! How else can you go through the day without killing yourself or bringing back public lapidations when you spend days surrounded by mini-dumbells who's main idea of fun is anything Jackass hasn't thought of, who's goal usually involves a colossal waste of something (times, money, ketchup, neurons), and who's collective IQ struggles to reach opening-a-bag-of-chips level??!! I'm telling you, being slightly insane has kept me alive and somewhat happy for many years now. And looking ahead, I'll need to be much more senile and exentric if I want to reach full pension benefits. LONG LIVE RHUM, HEAVY METAL AND VIDEO GAMES!!!!!
Well, that's me, in a nutshell. More to come I guess... I'm obviously much more than that, but i've rambled long enough for a first post. Although I feel a great many posts for today. We'll see...
Patience. I'm not talking about the kind of Patience required to knit or watch paint dry. I mean Patience. To repeat 53 times the same simple command ("open your books at page 5") without ripping of a few ears, you need Patience. To tolerate 30 twits acting like overgrown babies for more than 15 minutes while trying to teach them anything at all, you need Patience. To watch a 12 year old pretend he's a hyperactive hummingbird singing (badly, and with a french accent) Nelly songs without bouncing his head off every wall in class, you need Patience
Imagination. 'Cause being an educator is not enough anymore, you need to be a clown/comedian/genius/cool kinda teacher to get them to do anything. It's one thing to "integrate" real life into the classroom, it's quite another to actually have them relate what they do in here to their lives. Apparently, Math, sciences and phys. ed. will serve absolutely no purpose in the future. Can't wait to be taken care of by those unfit, overweight slobs who can't Figure out how to plug in the "old" phone and call the "pill guy" to figure out how much money they need plus tax to get my medicine!!!
Insanity. Yeah I know. Having a crazy person in a high school doesn't sound right, but think about it. every other person in there already is!!!! It's survival really!! How else can you go through the day without killing yourself or bringing back public lapidations when you spend days surrounded by mini-dumbells who's main idea of fun is anything Jackass hasn't thought of, who's goal usually involves a colossal waste of something (times, money, ketchup, neurons), and who's collective IQ struggles to reach opening-a-bag-of-chips level??!! I'm telling you, being slightly insane has kept me alive and somewhat happy for many years now. And looking ahead, I'll need to be much more senile and exentric if I want to reach full pension benefits. LONG LIVE RHUM, HEAVY METAL AND VIDEO GAMES!!!!!
Well, that's me, in a nutshell. More to come I guess... I'm obviously much more than that, but i've rambled long enough for a first post. Although I feel a great many posts for today. We'll see...
This post first appeared on My Life In Hell (or Does It Just Feel Like Hell??!, please read the originial post: here
