If your wondering where I've been for the last week I've been spending some time in Cabo San Lucas Mexico, soaking up some sun, and comsuming my fair shair of Tequila. (You would be too if you looked at some of the deals for hotels and airfare online before spring break it was fucking dirt cheap)

Now Cabo was fucking outstanding, the hotel staff were fanfuckingtastic, the weather was fucking outstanding and hot, and the booze went down smoother then a well trained escort (Or so I've been told at least). But while everthing on the Mexican side of things was great there was one thing that irratated the shit out of me... THE TOURISTS. For my entire stay the hotel has been filled with just Canadians and Americans and I have to say there were thngs both groups did that made me shake my head and ask "What the fuck is wrong with these ass tards?"

Don't get me wrong there was some people who I met who were pretty fucking on the level, but it seemed as if both counties shipped every possible asshole, fuck tard, reject, and dumb ignorant fuck it could to get some breathing space for a week or two. So I thought I would put it all into a nice neat little list of stupid ignorant shit you should not do, say or ask when you go on your next vacation.

First The Canadians

1. To you fucking flakey weird fucks from Toronto WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. Every one of you that I met down here was fucking off hinged in some way. Either you would give me a look like I was a fucking purple headed alien when I said hi. Or you would bullshit about how fuckng great you are, pretend to be freindly and then fuck off and never speak to me or those I was with again. What the fuck happend to having a normal fucking conversation assholes?

2. To the fucking ass clown who thought he was a big shot (You know who you are with your fucking cowboy hat pretending your from Texas) I don't give a runny shit if your richer then astronauts, in fact nobody fucking cares for that matter. SO quit fucking acting like your God's gift to the world. MInd you I should thank you for one thing, the girl who worked the lobby bar has a nice ass and becuase you were throwing her money left and right I got free reign to stare at it. But for fuck's sake I didn't want to do it sober, let the rest of us get some fucking booze.

3. And last but not least I don't care how fucking nice and polite you are. DOn't come up to me and ask me personel questions about my life, what I do, who I do it with, and how when I've never met you before. Perhaps your lonley and just wanted to talk, and if that's the case you could have simply said "Hello" or "Hi". Of course I would have been way fucking nicer to you if you weren't a 70 year old man. Sorry fucker I don't swing that way.

And Now For The Americans

1. First off read a fucking book, a map, or use the internet once in awhile other then to look at what fucking shit Charlie Sheen is spewing about. (I should point out that not everyt American was this fucking rude just a handful who really got on my nerves) I am not the following

a. A lumberjack
b. A fur trader
c. An Eskimo

I do not live in a fucking igloo and eat fucking seal meat all day while praying for one day without snow so I can fix my fucking dog slead. I know what country music is, I know what Wall-Mart is (we have them too and we hate them just as much as you do). And the reason why I don't say "eh" at the beginning of every sentence ,and "aboot" instead of "about" is becuase I'm not a fucking retard you shit stain. It's a fucking sterotype, sure there are some that do but myself and every one of the thousands of Canadians I know DON'T FUCKING SOUND LIKE THAT.

2. Learn to fucking tip for fucks sake. The staff don't exactly make a shit load of money so one or two dollars here and there isin't going to really hurt you. DON'T BE SO FUCKING CHEAP.

3. I don't fucking care how fucking great you think you are, but when I can hear you brag about what kind of car, stocks, 20 something year old with fake tits your banging because you discovered Viagra, or how many homes you own over the fucking music at the pool it's time to learn to SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody but you cares we all think your an asshole or full of shit or both, so keep it the fuck down....please.

4. While I think it's great that your proud of America and I think you should be, don't shove it in my face. I'm as proud to be Canadian as you are American, but I don't want to fucking hear how fucking much better you think you are over anyone else. Perhaps you should do some reasearch online because we Candians tend to live longer, are heathier, are happeir (well except for me perhaps but fuck it) and people around the world kinda like us better. Perhaps that's why I was getting my drinks before you.....just a thought.

Anyways that's all I have to bitch about for now until I get back home and some other asshole decides to fuck with my oxygen.

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P.S

If your wondering why there are mre spelling errors then normal, it's because Blogger's spell check is being fucking retarted and highlighting almost every word so I can't tell which ones are correct or wrong.