The little Moth was warned by its mother, “Don’t get too close. It’s dangerous.”
But the flame that flickered in enchanting glow in the middle of the darkened room was so beautiful. It danced with a mystical inaudible melody which charmed the little moth that fluttered nearby. Amidst the cold night, the lamp gave the only source of heat which was welcoming.
How can something so beautiful be dangerous?
How could anyone be so wary of this warmth?
The little moth danced with the flame… Flying over, under and around…
“Closer. I want to get closer. I have to. I need to.”
Little moth felt the warmth turn to burning heat, but closer still it flew towards the enchanting flame.
A single kiss took its flight in an instant. A brief moment of bliss in exchange for little moth’s life…
I wonder if the moth felt regret as it crashed down with charred and broken wings. Or was it like finally experiencing heaven, you only get there unless you die?
It must be nice to wish about living in once upon a time in a land far, far away but I wouldn’t know that because I’m more like a little moth. I don’t have a fairy godmother to help me find true love with magic, nor do I have a prince charming to come rescue me from a tower. All I have is a beautiful flame to dance around while my little wings guide my flight.
I have no idea how long it’s been since this love began. I didn’t particularly count the days, weeks or months but all I know is that the more time we spent together, the more I’m being drawn to his charm. The way he illuminated my darkened world was enough for him to capture my heart completely. And his enigmatic warmth melted my frozen soul.
He’s the fire that owns me, but I could never own him. The moment I try, I know I’d get burned.
In this foreign land he is one of the few people that I can really talk to. I felt so lonely, so scared and so confused when I first arrived here, but he had been the one to comfort me. He helped me adapt to the new environment and in his kindness I found my shelter. Both of us have somewhere else that we belong to… we both have someone waiting for us back home. With that fact alone, this kind of relationship is already hopeless to begin with, yet I can’t stop myself from wanting to draw closer.
It’s wrong, yet in his arms I still find myself trapped. In his eyes, I find myself mesmerized. In his kiss, I find myself lost within the temptation of taking a bite of the forbidden fruit.
***
The moment I placed down the receiver, I saw the jealous look on Terrance’s face. He would always openly show when he’s upset about something, although he always tries to cover things up with his words.
“He’s been calling a lot lately--- your boyfriend?” The sarcastic smile on his face as always made my heart jump off my chest. It made me feel guilty. Who wouldn’t be, considering this kind of situation?
“He’s worried about me. Your wife calls you every day as well…”
The sarcastic smile vanished in an instant.
“She wants me to come home.”
“I know.”
It’s the same thing that my boyfriend always calls about. The calls that I so willingly wished to heed at first if only I could, but after meeting Terrance and now that I have that choice, I could only listen blankly to his words not feeling the same affection as I once did.
“I don’t want to leave you…”
“But you also want to go back to her.”
He paused for a moment and I figured immediately that I had just hit a bull’s eye.
“We could go back together. I’d find you and we can---“
“No. If you go back, you’d have to be with your wife. The only way we could be together is by staying here. You have to make your choice.”
That’s the truth. We both know it.
“Me?”
“I already made mine.”
Ring… Ring… Ring…
“That should be her. She always calls around this time, right?”
I didn’t know what to feel when I saw the hesitance on his face as he slowly stepped closer to where the phone was seated. In my mind I screamed for him to stop. I wanted to tell him not to take the call. Don’t listen to what she wants to say. But that’s just me wishing selfishly. I have no right to stop him from wanting to hear his wife’s voice. I can’t direct his heart to stop caring about the wife he left at home. It’s something that he has to decide on his own.
He slowly moved his hand to take the receiver but suddenly stopped. When he turned to face me there was something in his eyes that I couldn’t understand. He just stood there staring at me as we both listened to the phone ring continuously. It seemed like forever, but the ringing eventually came to a halt.
“Frances--- I’ve also made my choice…”
He smiled and pulled me into his arms. He covered me in his warmth and I found myself giving up my wings to embrace the burning heat of the flame.
We both took a bite of the forbidden fruit and waited for our turn to taste the tiny piece of paradise.
I fell asleep listening to the sweet music of his beating heart, unaware that by the moment I wake up I’d find my flame extinguished and myself alone in the paradise I yearned to share with Terrance.
And somewhere in a time and place ignorant of the moth’s flight, as Frances’ EEG reading flat-lined, Terrance opened his eyes and was welcomed back from his coma by his wife’s grateful smile.
