..There is very little to do when it rains because Spain is an outdoor country. It's been chilly and a little cloudy for days and now and then we get rain. This can be a drizzle or a deluge. Upsetting for the visitors I know, but it is a seasonal event and unstoppable. So us ex-pats have to find alternatives. This involves British TV if you can get it, and DVDs if you can't.

Going out is still possible and to a degree we can sit outside the bars, particularly the ones with gas heaters like the Marina Bar. Last year the heaters they had were a bit dilapidated. And there are burn marks on the awning from the heat generated which also radiates through the top of the older heaters heater. And whilst I am on about the awning, above the Marina is the La Cala hotel. And two things happen people place wet towels on the balcony rail and they throw lit cigarettes on to the awning. So in Summer we are dripped on from the towels and in winter we are dripped on through the holes in the awning created by the cigarettes.

During the first year I met Dave (Pete was working then and Dave used to come out to keep an eye on his apartment on his own) we sat outside the Marina bar watching, on the far side of the beach, tornado's of sand swirling in a very strong wind. It started to drift in our direction, until we were beginning to get sprayed with sand. Sand in your eyes, but more importantly in your beer, is not good so we decided to move in-doors. By this time the waiters had closed the glass doors to stop the sand blowing in. We just got settled and we witnessed a scene that was reminiscent of a sequence out of Ghost busters in the courtroom scene where a poltergeist is let loose amongst the tables and chairs. in a kind of Mexican wave all the tables and chairs in the Marina bar and la Cala Cala bar next door were scooped up by the wind and flung on to the beach. The furniture from la Cala Cala bar went into the sea, but the Marina bar seating blew on to the dry part of the beach, and all the staff from both bars went scurrying to catch it up and bring it back to where it should be. Dave looked at me and said "Now you don't see that every day"...

There is also the Marina Bar singers. They are employed by Pepi in particular, when he thinks the amount of customers are dwindling. Most of the entertainment is English but a Belgian lady plays the keyboard on one of the nights and a Spanish chap plays the keyboard on another night.

The thing is, although the singers a quite good considering the environmentin which they have to work, we tend to go into the bar to chat. That is impossible when they get going. The music is too loud. So as Pepi is shrewd he obviously witnessed some people leaving when the music started, hence the awning over the patio and a side screen to ease the wind and two gas heaters to warm it up. So he has the groupies and the golden oldies inside cheering on the acts, and the great debaters outside putting the world to right. This of course isn't a panacea for everyone, there are some people who can't sit inside because it is too loud and can't sit outside because there is a draught. And to my loyal readers you note I never mentioned any names.

If we are really desperate due to the weather we have to go to a bespoke indoor venue such as Heroes. Heroes is a large working man's club type venue. A stage at one end for the acts, a sound mixer desk and disco deck at the side and the bar as far away from the stage as possible.

We went there last Christmas Eve with Trevor and Andrew, my son Ian, Ange and I, and we met up with Nick and Brian. Nick works behind the bar there and issues generous whiskey measures. The place was wall to wall packed and a great Christmas spirit going on. There was a free buffet, which was good (I hadn't had sausage rolls for a couple of years). My son had clocked a young lady and was doing his best to chat her up. But her mother was with her and I think he was finding it a bit difficult. Andrew, Trevor's partner said "...don't worry, I come chat up the mother Ian, whilst you chat up the daughter". In the mean time Trevor was texting him helping him out with sensible tips NOT! I suspect. It got to finishing time and we ambled home leaving Ian, to continue his womanising.

Autumn and Winter is a time when a lot of us tend to have more nights in, which makes the Carrefour offer of take three litre bottles of Famous Grouse whiskey and pay for 2 meaning each litre bottle nine euros each, or £7.30p at today's pathetic exchange rate, an even better offer when we are stopping in.

And just when you need telly because you can't go out, the storms come and interfere with the signal. Today is such a day we can't get BBC1, BBC 2, ITV 1 or channel 4, we can get channel 5, UK Gold, and ITV2, now and then. So the cookery competition on ITV1 is not on and I am getting earache from Ange because no television signal is clearly my fault.

For such an occasion we have various DVDs - nearly all of Peter Kay's stuff, Little Britain series 1,2 and 3. various films, the first two series of "Benidorm", and a few recorded TV programmes.

But we still prefer to socialise if we can so the best time is late afternoon into early evening, if it is a clear day it will be a warm day. Yesterday was such a day and Jonathan and I sat in the Marina, later being joined by Rick, then Andrea and her mum Margaret came and joined us. They had been out for an Indian, but we had decided to go Molly Malone's for pub grub. So we left the girls under a heater saving the seat and off we went. Once eaten we returned. The girls were still there so we joined them again. Margaret and Andrea had flown over from England that morning. Margaret lives there and Andrea had a gig at the weekend. So they were up at 0400 that morning, and the alcohol was having an effect, Andrea was on wine and Margaret her usual whiskey.

Margaret was telling us about a Spanish chap that who is keen on her, and Jesus came out at one point whilst I was there and he was doing a bit of match making too. Margaret was making is plain that she wasn't interested in him or any man for that matter at least at the moment. So when he came out we were all taken a bit aback when she said to him in English, which was quickly translated by Jesus, "Do you want to marry me" and once translated he answered back, Jonathan translated it to Margaret... "he said he would marry you now Margaret..." Jesus always the pragmatist said "he a bery bery reech man..." We managed to hold Margaret back before she ran after him......