When I tell people that I'm going to USC for the Graduate production program, I usually get one of three reactions:

1) "Wow. That's a really hard school to get into. Congratulations!"

2) [blank stare].

3) "Oh, that's nice. I got my MBA from Wharton, and when I was there..." (I'm not sure how this one ends, because I've usually walked away or faked a seizure before the end of the second sentence.)

I bring this up because I've been doing some reading. I bought two books last weekend: How to Make a Movie for Under $10000 (and not go to jail) and What They Don't Teach You in Film School.

I finished the first one pretty quickly, and I've just started on the second. The first was written by a genuinely independent artist who loves making movies. Period. Just loves what he does. And his passion for doing the work, even with a budget that can't be detected on the subatomic scale, shines through in his writing.

The second book opens with five different bitter, disparaging, discouraging, anti-film-school stories in the first eight pages. (I'm only about ten pages in, so I don't know if the trend will continue, but I can sense a pattern when IT HITS ME IN THE FACE WITH BRICK.) What's both surprising and especially disheartening is that this second book is written by two women with film school degrees -- one a graduate of USC, the other, AFI.

Maybe this is a naive point-of-view, but it seems to me that anyone talented, skilled, smart, and lucky enough to have earned a film school degree at the graduate level -- especially from schools as exclusive as USC and AFI -- should have the experience and good sense to realize that not everyone can or should direct...even if they've been admitted to USC or AFI. The difficulty and expense of making films dictate a necessary socio-educational Darwinism. In the same way that there can be only one valedictorian, so can there be only one director on a film. I suspect that persons not peace with that fact before starting an MFA program are in for a rude shock.

Which is why my goals for graduate school look like this:

1) Graduate with an MFA. No matter what. A master's degree is valuable in many ways beyond the field for which you're trained.
2) Learn everything I can about the craft of making movies in as many capacities and as hands-on as possible.
3) Build new friendships and relationships.
4) Direct something of my own.

I'm not looking to leave USC as the next fairy tale Hollywood success story. I'm just looking for a place to help me grow and develop what my talents and skills. I'm not making excuses, and I'm plenty ambitious -- I DO expect to direct while I'm at USC -- but I also have a realistic picture of the program I'm entering, and I don't plan to graduate with spleenload of bitterness. No matter what else happens, I'm going to take my classes, squeeze them for all they can provide me, get my degree, and move along with my life. That's all. No ego attached, no expectation of superstardom. Just getting some education.

And I think anyone who expects anything more is kidding himself.

136 to go.