Oh, lovely Summer...

With stunning golden hour and winged creatures buzzing with joy.

So many memories of previous summers return in those warm rays of sunshine.

Peony poppies and Baby quail delight us...

With two and three flushes of roses.

The abundance of roses amazes me.

So many birds have been born in the garden, including hummingbirds in thimble sized nests.

I even jumped into the pool fully dressed to save a flailing baby dove, who then jumped back in.

So, of course, I jumped back in too.

I used a net and my pants to save it, without touching it, so as not to deter the chance of mama bird shunning the poor thing.

Teddy has stepped into his role as guardian of everything, including the garden.

He trots around, checking that everything is good and well.

You almost forget how everything gets so full and lush with the heat of summer.

I really enjoy just peeking around in the morning.

Quietly strolling and listening to all the lovely bird sounds.

A few clouds are beginning to hang around, and hopefully soon, there will be monsoon rain.

The best rose for year-round flowering that I have ever planted is called Pearly Gates.

You can see it below, it blooms even when it is super hot.

There are just about 30 lemons left on the lemon tree.

However, the tree is also full of hundreds of next year's lemons already.

I do not understand how lemon season (which is in late winter) drags out until now with the gift of lemons, but I am always overjoyed about it.

The Gene Boerner roses are also still flowering, I love them so.

I have several at both houses and they never let me down.

As much as I love roses, I am really drawn to the flowers you'd likely not see in a bouquet.

Such as salvia, foxgloves and the coneflower (echinacea) below.

The last of the super tender flowers has gone and we will not see poppies or peonies again until next year.

The rose rounder planter, which was originally empty and I planted entirely about 6 years ago, is a very happy place to be.

It's so colorful and although it gets a ton of sun, it still hangs on even when super-hot, and will return with gusto in September and October.

I feel like this summer is just racing by, so I make sure to run up to the arbor which sits up the hill on the east side of the garden and wait for golden hour.

I simply had to try to capture a photo of the cardinal that sits on the tiny birdhouse on the ledge of the wall.

Isn't that cute and funny?

It seems that all the creatures are enjoying these hot days of garden abundance.

I love spying on the bees.

I feel like I accidentally created a bee haven.

Not because I planted this garden for them, but because they come in droves to feast on things I would have never expected.

They go crazy for arugula flowers, oregano flowers and mint flowers.

There are so many bees on the flowering herbs, I can hardly believe it.

They seem to love them more than they love the pretty flowers.

Hello giant dahlia!

As for me, I am drawn to a golden hour bath every evening.

I close my eyes and bask in that magical light at the end of the day.

I never even knew golden hour would stream through the arbor in such a way.

Quite the serendipitous accident.

Don't you love it when things like that happen?

I have been so busy with all my harvests.

So many plums, which I will share soon, and now so many apples as well.

I've been canning and baking bread like mad.

Two nights ago, as Teddy and I cuddled up for the night (did I mention he loves to cuddle?), I realized that for the first time since Matty died, I didn't feel utter heartbreak.

I've kept repeating to myself that he had a wonderful life and it was his time.

Somehow, through those self-chats, I have started to feel a lightness in my soul again.

I miss him something fierce, but I know he had a very good life.

When my first dog called Baby (she came with her name) died, I felt so much regret and the depth of loss was unbearable.

I felt that I had not given her a good enough life.

(That wasn't at all true, but that is just a grief stricken feeling I had)

She did have a truly great life, but I was much younger, and she was my first dog.

She was also a sort of independent outdoor dog and had lived in the desert for the first 1.5 years of her life when we rescued her.

So, she spent most of her time in the gardens at the country house.

She didn't want to go inside the house, even when we tried to coax her in.

Only when she was much older would she unwillingly go in, when it was very cold outside.

She had a big fluffy bed on the porch and ate well and was deeply loved, but what I regretted was not taking her places.

When she died, the depth of grief that struck me changed me forever.

Her death actually turned me into the best dog mom I could be to my next dogs.

Mostly because I felt like I hadn't had enough time with her, and I now knew the importance of not wasting precious time.

I felt a vast emptiness, that I hadn't enjoyed her to the fullest or loved her enough.

(Of course I did, but that was the feeling my grief brought on)

She was so good and amazing, a truly incredible dog.

Her death opened our eyes, and we didn't want to lose one morsel of time with our next dogs.

Matty and Miles had outrageously good lives because of what we learned through Baby.

We learned that a dog's life is short, so you have to live each day to the fullest with them, because your time together goes by too quickly.

Baby was the teacher, Matty was the guardian, Miles was our angel.

Teddy is our cuddler joker right now, and we will see who he becomes as he grows up.

After Baby, the dogs were integrated even more deeply into our lives.

They pretty much took over our lives, and we wouldn't have had it any other way.

We understood the value of time, and our time with them.

All that to say, I have no regrets about Matty, only that I wish he hadn't gotten cancer.

But I have zero regrets about his life - about the life we gave him.

I kissed and hugged him dozens of times a day.

We rescued him and were both utterly patient with him, as he was a traumatized little dog when we adopted him.

He and Miles played all day, slept in bed, ate great food, got endless kisses and even went out for burgers on Fridays.

It was the feeling of regret I had when Baby died that led me to understand the importance of not wasting any time together.

Mister Lovee says Baby had an incredible life and I should not feel regret.

But I just did, I wanted to do so many more things with her, and then she was gone.

I learned not to take life and time for granted, and to live it to the fullest with my next dogs.

That was the greatest lesson I learned.

And so, two nights ago I felt a peace knowing that I had zero regrets with Matty, and I know he had the best life ever.

I can now take a deep breath as my grief shifts towards healing.

I'll never forget him, any of them.

I can see them instantly in my mind's eye and imagine Baby, Matty and Miles are standing right next to me.

I am thankful for Baby, who opened my eyes to the potential of love you can experience when you allow yourself to bond at a higher level with your pets.

They make your own life fuller and happier.

I suppose the overall lesson is not to waste a morsel of time with anyone you love.

 

The experience of life is different with a furry companion.

I feel so deeply grateful that I have gotten to experience my dogs, and although I miss them, I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

With that, I should be off to check on Teddy because he is being very quiet.

And we all know what that can mean :-)

I hope to see you again very soon.

 

Be well dear friends!

 

Love, Vanessa

 

 

ps:

Teddy is having an awesome summer...

Before.

 

After...