Caleb Roger LeClair, born July 22 in the morning, sometime around 9am. Grey eyes, weight 7lbs and 2 ounces. It's taken me almost two months to get this post out, many rewrites and interruptions with diapers and spit-ups and cuddles. He looks like me and like Brian. I'm in love.

I find myself in a maternity daze. I hardly know which day it is, I only really judge time by how many weeks Caleb's been here. 7 weeks and six days now. As I'm typing this he's got his little fists jammed in his mouth making grunting noises which means he's either pooping or he's hungry and will poop right after. It's always poop with us.



I had to have a cesarean. Doctor's recommendations. Caleb was breech inside of me and refused to turn even after I had (a very painful) version done. We went in on the 21st and waited for hours for the surgery. It never happened because there were too many other emergency c-sections. We were upset, naturally and went in on the 22nd with the thought that we'd be sent home again. It didn't take long before I was pumped full of drugs and shaking from head to and crying at the sight of a very naked little baby.



It wasn't what I had planned. I planned on going through labour, screaming obsenities at Brian for show and pushing out this little baby. I find I'm not doing anything according to any plan when it comes to Caleb. I just do what I can, when it works.



I had all of these plans in my head when I thought about going on maternity leave. I was going to get so much done. Have more time for photography, get back into shape, get back into this blog even! What a fool I was. I have no time to even have a real shower because of all of the baby cuddles I have to get in a day. And kisses. And naps. Oh those sweet, sweet naps. When they come they are bliss because, you know, sleeping at night is for people who don't have babies.



It's hard to explain how amazing Caleb is. He's starting to really smile at us now and when I'm feeling lonely and bored and worried about our futures his little smile melts all of that away and I suddenly don't care about anything else. Not about how badly I need a shower or that I haven't done laundry in a week. I hadn't planned on loving this little guy so much that I don't care if I don't do anything else.


Caleb will preoccupy a lot of my time now. Probably all of it, and that is just fine with me. Will I be another part-time mommy blogger? Only if he naps for more than 20 minutes, so, no promises.