I'm a procrastinator. I wouldn't blame anxiety for it. Just my many practiced years of putting things off. Waiting until the very last minute. Or forgetting.  I was once described as a perfectionist where I would be so concerned with things being right that whatever task I had set before me I wouldn't be able to live up to it.

Do it right, or not at all. So in the end, nothing gets done. I'm the worst kind of perfectionist.

I scare myself out of a lot of things, usually I tell myself it's for the best but now that I'm old itsi unwise to be this way.

Caleb has been soesleep in his own bed for a couple of weeks now. I ended our nightly ritual very abruptly. To no one's shock, he got over it pretty quickly. Turns out it was me who was holding on to the cuddles and comfort nursing. And it gave me my excuse for my insomnia. Now he's off in dreamland and I am alone and I still can't just fall asleep so here I am, writing a blog on my cell phone again.


Sleep has never come easy to me. I could never just close my eyes and turn off without the day flashing back at me. I bought some sleep aids but they only work in a way that pulls me into a sleep but any slight sound and I'm awake. And I'm just blinking in the dark, reaching for my phone, staring into the abyss of my yucky thoughts. Or dream shopping for my future house. Really useless habits i cannot shake.


The best sleep I ever had was when I was in the first trimester of pregnancy and couldn't keep my eyes open. IdI call in on my shifts and wouldn't even lie about what was going on. I slept so well, and anywhere. Even on the bus which was a bit scary.

Now I am lucky to get 10 hours in a week.


Anyone have any sleep tips that do not involve Essential oils or buying a directly sold product I am all ears. And eyes.