Sinbad of the Seven Seas

Cannon Films, USA, Italy, Iraq 1989.

Claimed to be based on Edgar Allan Poe's story "The Thousand and Second Tale of Scheherazade," but we only believe it because they say so.

Mother (Daria Nicolodi, known for Dario Argento's giallo films) reads her daughter a bedtime story about brave hero Sinbad the Sailor.

Buffed-up sailor named Sinbad (Lou Ferrigno) sails the seas with his merry men Prince Ali (Roland Wybenga), Viking (Ennio Girolami), Bald Cook (Yehuda Efroni), Chinese Soldier of Fortune Cantu (Hal Yamanouchi) and Poochie the Dwarf (Cork Hubbert). In Basra kind Caliph (Donald Hodson) rules the happy city. Princess Alina (Alessandra Martines) is awaiting for Ali. Evil Vizier Jaffar (John Steiner) wants to be caliph instead of the caliph and uses black magic to mesmerize the city making everyone mindless puppets.

So when Sinbad returns, there is nobody to welcome him. Unacceptable. Sinbad marches to the palace to see what is the problem. Jaffar throws Sinbad into dungeon and his friends have to save him but they get captured too. So Sinbad has to free himself using a rope made of snakes(!) Meanwhile Jaffar tries to corrupt the Princess and hides the magic jewels that protect the city. The Princess is tied to acrylic machine where colourful juice flows in tubes.

Jaffar has also ally, mercenary friend or whatever Soukra (1980s bodybuilder Teagan Clive) whose function is to sarcastically comment on Jaffar's failed attempts to destroy Sinbad. The dialogue hints that there was about to be Soukra's and Ali's duel but nothing such ever happens. In the end she is even partying with the heroes, who would have thought about that.

Undead horrors, Amazons and rock monsters guard the gems. Amazon Queen Farida (Melonee Rodgers) can suck man's will away. And so the Amazon gymnasts capture the whole crew. Amazon Queen goes for the alpha male and vamps Sinbad. But once the curse is broken, the Queen is not so hot anymore. Bye!

On another island there are undead suits of armour (raising from the dead like the "Blind Dead"), jumping zombies but also eccentric Wizard Nadir (Leo Gullotta) and his nice daughter Kira (Stefania Girolami Goodwin) who gets kidnapped by hideous laser-shooting Zombie King. Jaffar is watching the show so Sinbad boasts like a pro-wrestler everytime he gets a gem. Curiously when there is a fight Sinbad always throws his scimitar away and trusts his muscles instead.

Enzo G. Castellari knocks off American Sinbad-films, and even taking couple of sets from Lou Ferrigno's Hercules-films. Dov Seltzer's synth-heavy soundtrack sounds typical for the Italian cinema of the 1980s but it is highly anachronistic for a peplum film.

Whereas the Hercules film tried to take the subject seriously (albeit with unintended hilarity) Sinbad does not even try. The beginning still goes on like a regular peplum, but then it goes into silly mode. Every scene with Jaffar is a riot as he delivers ham like it was Christmas coming. And the dialogue is such that the makers cannot have been serious. Of the crew Bald Cook and Poochie are the comical duo. Originally Luigi Cozzi was going to direct it but Enzo was called instead. The film was made in 1986, but shelved for three years (not a good sign) and in 1989 Cozzi was hired to save what could be saved and complete the unfinished film making the end results even more confusing. The result is an entertaining trainwreck that alternates between awesomely cheesy and so bad it is good. Although the story is childish, echoes from Italo-horror make this difficult to market as a family-oriented film.

This is an incredibly fun movie. And this film has even two Lou Ferrignos!

Rating: So bad it is good or Very good

Starring: Lou Ferrigno, John Steiner, Roland Wybenga, Ennio Girolami, Hal Yamanouchi, Yehuda Efroni, Alessandra Martines, Teagan Clive, Leo Gullotta, Stefania Girolami Goodwin , Donald Hodson, Melonee Rodgers, Cork Hubbert, Romano Puppo, Attilio Cesare Lo Pinto, Armando MacRory, Giada Cozzi, Daria Nicolodi, Ted Rusoff, Massimo Vanni

Directors: Enzo G. Castellari, Luigi Cozzi (uncredited)