Masters of the Universe a.k.a Masters of the Universe: The Motion Picture

Golan-Globus Productions, Edward R. Pressman Film Corporation, Cannon Films, USA, 1987.

"Who you gonna call? He-Man!"

The eternal battle of Good vs Evil is culminating on planet Eternia. Evil Skeletor (Frank Langella) and Evil-Lyn (Meg Foster) have conquered the Castle Grayskull and captured Sorceress (Christina Pickles). Mighty hero He-Man (Dolph Lundgren) and his friends Man-at-Arms (Jon Cypher) and Teela (Chelsea Field) are on the run and trying to organize resistance. Inventor dwarf Gwildor (Billy Barty) has invented Cosmic Key that can teleport people. Escaping Skeletor the whole bunch teleports to Earth and meets a cow. The confusion is mutual. The group also loses the Cosmic Key and hunting for it constitutes most of the plot.

On Earth waitress Julie (Courteney Cox) feels guilty for her parent's death as they died on airplane crash when Julie didn't want to spend time with them. She plans to move away but then she would have to leave her boyfriend Kevin (Robert Duncan McNeill). Julie and Kevin find the Cosmic Key, and Kevin thinks that it is a new Japanese synthesizer. Skeletor sends Blade, Saurod, Beastman and Karg to capture He-Man. Gwildor, Blade and Saurod were totally new characters and got their own action figures, but strangely Karg didn't.

Julie and Kevin join He-Man's team when Skeletor's troops attack. The battle leaves behind a trail of material destruction including a gym class room and a music shop. Tough detective Lubic (James Tolkan, regular toughie in 1980s films) tries to figure out what is behind all the ruckus.

When I was a young boy Masters of the Universe toys were the hottest hot. The toy series had a cool animation series and mini-comics in the toy packages that motivated to learn reading English. The characters were muscular, there were monstrous enemies, mutants, cyborgs, tough and beautiful women and elements of swords and sorcery and scifi. Everything that a growing boy needs.

For the movie new characters were created and many of the old simply forgotten. Where is He-Man's pet tiger Battle Cat? And King Randor? Flying little wizard Orko was replaced by Gwildor for budgetary reasons. Also the transformation of Prince Adam into He-Man is omitted. Also Sorceress looks drastically different than in the cartoons. In cartoons and as a toy she wore a hawk costume (Ladyhawke?), now she looks more mature and  wears a crystal chandelier on her head. And Teela doesn't correspond to the image I had about her as she should look more like a Grecian warrioress instead of someone from Mad Max. Of the other characters Skeletor looks as he should, Evil-Lyn is a bit different but still cool and Beastman and Blade look as they should. The worst annoyance was to throw the heroes to contemporary Earth. Although He-Man and his pals are totally believable in a fantasy planet, here they look quite absurd, with He-Man running through suburbs wearing underpants and leather straps. He looks like having escaped from some gladiator-fetish club. I mean just look at this:

Stuff like this produces a lot of campy humour. Still the subplot of Julie feels sometimes too serious considering the source material. As Mattel wouldn't allow He-Man to kill humans, Skeletor's army consists of robots that look like Darth Vader. He-Man then trashes and shoots those robots in the best Cannon Films style.

Although the movie does not quite reach the awesomeness of the cartoon series, it is still quite fun. Dolph is a good choice as He-Man, Frang Langella is magnificent Skeletor and other actors are fine too. The 1980s fantasy adventure gains value from the nostalgic memories of the era.

There was supposed to be a sequel but as the film flopped, the script was rewritten as Van Damme's "Cyborg." By the beginning of the 1990s the muscular heroes were going out of fashion. The decline of the popularity made the toy makers trying to make "The New Adventures of He-Man" toys slimmer and although there were some cool characters (Optikk for example) it just wasn't the same. I didn't have any of the toys from the new series.

Rating: Good

Starring: Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, Meg Foster, Billy Barty, Courteney Cox, Robert Duncan McNeill, Jon Cypher, Chelsea Field, James Tolkan, Christina Pickles, Tony Carroll, Pons Maar, Anthony De Longis, Robert Towers, Barry Livingston, Jessica Nelson, Gwynne Gilford, Walter Scott, Walter Robles, Cindi Eyman, Peter Brooks, Richard Szponder, Mike Carlucci, Nicholas Grabowsky
Director: Gary Goddard