My sister and I are the radest.
A stranger once told us that we were being "kinda loud" at a rock concert.
Was she joking? Was she lost?
At the time, we were astounded, and although she wasn't very rude, we were offended (and a little inebriated). I mean, we were at a rock concert! I didn't even think inhibitions were allowed in, but it got me thinking about manners and behavior in such an emotionally and creatively fueled space. My sister and I have been avid concert goers for many, many moons now and consider ourselves quite seasoned and experienced in the arena.

Since my sister and I are quite the concert connoisseurs, I thought I'd hit you with a little concert advice. 


Leave the heels at home.
I shouldn't have to explain this, but unless you'll be sitting in a seat the entire show, rock the Keds.
Also, don't wear bras that fasten in the front. A venue I frequent routinely administers frisks complete with a front bra pop. Learned that the hard way.


Ladies: Invest in a cute concert purse. Anything in your back pockets can and will take a nasty toilet dive. I don't care how drunk you are, sticking your hand in there is something you'll never fully recover from.
Cell phones, driver's licence, credit cards, debit cards, cash, cigarettes, lighters, ticket stubs...hell, I even lost two rings that way. Even if you don't have any of the ol' witch's brew, your chances of sacrificing something to the toilet gods are way too high for my liking.
 - And as always, flush with your shoe.

Guys: While I respect your display of freedom, it isn't always imperative for you to remove your shirt.

If you're worried about holding, don't. Someone else always is. Yay! New friend for you!

Buy two drinks at a time. Holding them both is a whole lot less annoying than missing half of the show because you're stuck in the never-ending line of people loudly recounting every other concert they've seen. If it's a Summer show at an outside venue, get ready for some stinky, sweat swappin'. Rubbing sweaty arms with people for 20 minutes at a time is less than appetizing to say the least.


Take napkins from the bar. You'll need these about halfway through the night when every stall has been raped of toilet paper. (Most of it's on the floor.)


The perfect time for crowd surfing is like planetary alignment. We're talking ideal conditions here; pay close attention to the crowd's behavior. People infused with alcohol and emotion can easily develop into a raging mosh pit-
and why not? I love a good pit, but I also know when I need to get the hell out of the way. They may not WANT to inflict pain upon you, but it still happens nonetheless.
It's like a hardcore hug. 'I'm happy to be here! I'm happy that you're happy to be here, too!' It's fucking liberating.
The point is to choose the correct social weather; blissful rage does not always equate to your safe surf.



I've seen legs and arms broken, bloody noses, and lots of kicks in the head....
which brings me to my next piece of advice:
If you're like me, you've gotta feel the pure energy of the pit. Always give in to this, but always guard your head like a mofo. If you hear "flyer!" or "surfer!" at any point, get those forearms up and ready to protect and assist.

Autographs and pictures are obviously more of a possibility at smaller venues; however, I saw Elton John once in a large arena, and he signed autographs for the entire first row. Again, it all depends on the atmosphere and conditions. If you see a window, go for it. Be polite, gracious, and understanding if they can't/won't.  At the very least, you had the balls to speak.

And of course, always be respectful of your fellow concert rats.

If you get beer spilled on you, don't lose your shit. It's no big deal.

If you get thrown up on, lose your shit. It's totally a big deal.