ooooooooo. Sorry, that was just the end of me still booing Craig for giving Jake a five last week. What the deuces?? I very much hope we won’t be seeing any more of the additional professional dancers littering up the stage this week.
At best they’re distracting – having to keep up with with ONE pro every week must be pressure enough for the rookie dancer celebs – and at worst, they’re hazardous, as they were for Jake and Janette last week.
But back to this week – the Strictly Come Dancing quarter final, with just six contestants left in the competition they’ve decided to shoot the opening VT in the style of a Christmas charity appeal. Black and white, mean and moody, we get to see all the celebs staring into space pensively, mithering about what will happen if they don’t make it through this episode. I almost expected a poignant voiceover to kick in… “Can you sponsor a celebrity today? For less than two pounds a week you can help Jake not have to go back to acting in the UK’s most successful nightly soap opera, and only you can make sure Mark carries on dancing as well as the 15 other jobs that we’ve all just learned he also has…”. It’s the professional dancers who should actually be fronting that appeal – remember Nicole Cutler? Jared Murillo? Exactly.
Oh good, there’s a new group dance tonight, the yawn-a-thon! Sorry, I mean the waltz-a-thon! Great, I can’t imagine that’ll be deathly dull. For a start, the multi couple dance-off thingies don’t work for us at home because we can only see one couple at a time, but at least the jive-a-thon means it’s interesting. What are they going to do in a waltz to stand out from the crowd. Maybe I’ll be eating/deleting my words soon, but I have to say, I’m not on the edge of my seat in anticipation for this feature.
But, before then, there are six interesting performances to come. Who’s up first?
Simon & Kristina
I have to say, if I was going to find someone to teach me be suave for an American Smooth, Robert Lindsay would be fairly high up that list, what a dude! Simon’s probably the most improved dancer this series, in my opinion, tied with Mark, and Kristina’s a very strong choreographer, so I’d put money on this being good before they even begin.
There’s a little bit too much messing about on the steps before they hit the floor. I know Len always bangs on about it, but I think that type of thing only works when you’re setting a strong story or characterisation for the dance, or when the pro is trying to disguise that their partner isn’t very good at the actual dancing; neither of which applies to this case. Overall it’s good, but not knockout. The lifts are strong, they’re a well matched pair (I didn’t realise until I saw Simon [at Strictly, not at a Blue concert, just for clarity] that he’s pretty small and slight. Only about 5’7, I’d say), it’s enjoyable to watch and entertaining, but I think it’s a drop in standard from the past few weeks.
The judges seem to like it though (just as an aside, for the conspiracy theorists out there, there are some rumblings on social media that Simon is being scored particularly high and other dancers particularly low because his phone votes are weak and the Beeb want to keep him in. I’m not sure why that would be the case though – Blue are hardly at the pinnacle of power in the TV industry. Or the music industry), although they also offer some constructive criticism. At this stage, none of the dancers are terrible though, so it does come down to the routine and the detail.
8, 9, 9, 9 – 35
Caroline & Pasha
A perfect example of my previous point; Caroline’s always been a strong dancer, but her routines for the past two weeks have been absolutely storming, and that’s down to Pasha’s choreography. The additional dancers in last week’s charleston were distracting, but it was still excellent overall. They’re doing an Argentine tango this week, which bodes well, as she’s proved herself more than capable of throwing herself into some dramatic personas previously.
Her footwork is a tad unsure to start with, and some of her kicks look a bit shaky too. Once she gets into hold with Pasha it works much better, but it doesn’t really flow. Unfortunately, the fact that we can hear Pasha telling her to ‘keep it together’ as soon as the dances finishes, followed by her weepily apologising to him, confirms that all was not well, but it was by no means a poor performance. The fact that Caroline was so upset when she nearly fell at the beginning of an otherwise sublime American smooth two weeks ago shows that she is a harsh critic of her own skills, and she’s certainly beating herself up about something that happened in this routine.
Again, the judges wax lyrical about it, so they clearly didn’t notice any errors. In fact – 10s? That seems suspiciously high, but they’re the experts.
9, 10, 10, 10 – 39
Pixie & Trent
Oh no, Prixie’s struggling with her confidence for one of moves her cha cha cha this week; concerned that she’ll be unable to pull off one of the more technical moves without Trent dropping her. Well Prixie, rest assured that you are the only one with any worries in that area. The rest of us would be delighted to see you hit the floor arse first in the middle of your routine. To try and help her through this not-at-all-contrived-so-she-doesn’t-come-across-as-such-jumped-up-little-madam attack of nerves, Trent takes her to visit her old junior school so she can practice speaking like a five year old, sorry, I mean the dance. Presumably she only stopped off at this school for half a day when she was a kid, before hot-footing it away to Sylvia Young’s, but he can’t take her there because we’d then see all the students partaking in their highly specialised dance lessons.
However, let’s move on from my masterclass in bitterness to what will doubtlessly be a very competent cha cha cha. I don’t want to sound like Len, but why are there so many props and sets going on in recent episodes? If they help establish a story which is then built up in the dance itself, but if it serves no purpose other than for Trent to take the weight off for a bit, then it only detracts from the dance. And I definitely am going to sound like Craig, but none of these dances has blown me away so far. They’ve all been good, but I would have found them impressive in week 5, not so much in week 11.
Again, the judges are peeing their pants in joy, so I must be feeing too critical. I did enjoy Trent getting scolded by Len, but everything else seems fairly rosy in the world of Prixie. I agree with Len’s score, I think the others have over marked.
9, 9, 8, 9 – 35
Mark & Karen
I really enjoyed Mark’s dance last week, I felt sorry for them ending up in the dance-off, especially having seen how nervous Mark gets before he dances. This week’s foxtrot is very strong; as I said earlier, Mark’s come on in leaps and bounds since the beginning of the series and he’s a pleasure to watch. Apart from the lack of lifts, this could pass as an American smooth as it has a real feel of classic, elegant Hollywood. In my opinion, the best dance of the night so far.
The judges must have upped their dosages this week because they also have glowing words for Mark and Karen. Fingers crossed they keep out of the dance-off this week.
8, 9, 9, 9 – 35
Jake & Janette
It was a mark of how disappointed Jake – aka the most genial man in the world – was last week, when he sounded slightly barbed talking about the dancer who’d banged into him mid-routine. Craig’s ‘dance disarrrrrrrrrster’ comment was absolute codswallop, the only reason I can think of is that he must have it written into his contract that he uses that phrase at least five times a series. If I could love Jake any more, it would be caused by seeing him being lovely with his adorbs children. I know I say this all the time, but show me a good dad and I’ll show you a good man. And it’ll be the same person that we’re showing each other, just in case that isn’t entirely clear.
A circus themed charleston for Jake and Janette and I really, really hope it’s good. People who wouldn’t normally vote would have done last week, driven by the injustice of Craig’s remarks and scores. But two bad weeks in a row could be the end for anyone at this point. And it is good, phew. Dead on time, good lifts, animated, characterful. One of the lifts goes wrong, but they recover from it almost seamlessly. A triumph for Jake’s dancing and acting ability, but equally Janette’s choreography.
Does that circus music make everyone a bit edgy though, or is it just me? I blame this series of American Horror Story.
9, 9, 10, 10 – 38
Frankie & Kevin
Poor old Kevin looks dreadful in this week’s VT, he must be gutted not to have seen Frankie pick up her – ahem – ‘Fabulous Friends’ award. I always like seeing The Saturdays, especially Una, who is both my favourite and the only one whose name I know.
The worst performance we’ve seen Frankie give so far has been the samba and this week she has another party dance – the salsa. She seems more confident this week, and she’s wearing a glittery welding mask – what could go wrong? Not much, is the answer. It’s pretty good. The lifts weren’t brilliant, but she was well suited to the dance and it was good fun. Why the hell was she welding at the beginning though? I thought we were heading for Flashdance territory, but that was just weird. Maybe Kevin conceived the idea when he was in some sort of fever induced hallucination.
Probably the worst comments from the judges so far, but still good overall.
8, 9, 8, 9 – 34
Come on then waltz-a-thon, entertain us. I imagine it is quite difficult not to crash into each other, which is forbidden (god forbid we have anything interesting to look at during this snooze fest!) but the couples with professional male dances surely have the advantage there, having presumably experienced this environment many times before. To safely lead, as a male contestant, must take a lot of concentration, whilst focussing on the dance as well. This is demonstrated by the results, and makes it a bit of a joke all round. Not entertaining, not fair.
6th – Jake & Janette
5th – Mark & Karen
4th – Caroline & Pasha
3rd – Simon & Kristina
2nd – Frankie & Kevin
1st – Prixie
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